


The Way Home

by AliaraShan



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Also fuck the Accords, Author Encourages Feedback, Avengers Family, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky is a father, Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Comfort, Enhanced individuals, F/M, Family Issues, I Write OCs Not Empty Vessels, Loki tries to help, Original Character(s), Original villain - Freeform, Post-HYDRA Reveal, Protective Steve Rogers, Reunions, Romance, Secrets, Side-Pairing: Bruce/Natasha, Side-Pairing: Wanda/Vision, Slow Burn, Super Soldier Serum, Tony Stark Has Issues, Work In Progress, civil war aftermath, female villain, what were they thinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2020-09-01 18:20:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 59,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20262451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliaraShan/pseuds/AliaraShan
Summary: They'd believed there were only five Super Soldiers hidden at the Siberia facility until Tony Stark came upon a sixth. One not even Zemo or Bucky ever knew about. It's a discovery that forces Tony to use the burner phone and bring Captain America home. A secret that ripples through their already broken family and affects the lives of those most closely involved. Can they forgive and reunite in time to face new threats lurking in the dark?Disclaimer: This story takes place post Civil War and offers minor alterations to the outcome of Thor: Ragnarok. Infinity War and Endgame are ignored entirely. It's a work in progress so tags and relationships will be updated accordingly.





	1. Yelena

**— 1: Yelena —**

_‘Lena come on baby we have to go,’ Sofya urged in a whisper._

_‘Momma no, my dolly!’ the toddler whined._

_‘Shh baby, we can’t go back for your doll. I’ll buy you a new one when we get to the city.’_

_‘Daddy?’_

_‘No, not to see daddy…’ Sofya lifted Yelena onto her hips, half hidden under her coat and a blanket. They stepped into the cold of the night. ‘Daddy is gone…’_

A surge of memories spun in turmoil within Yelena’s mind. Fragments, flashes. All incomplete and she couldn’t be certain of their order either. And, hell, her head was throbbing.

_‘Lena run! Go! Don’t turn back, leave me, run!’ Sofya screamed._

_A dozen men forced their way inside the cottage, weapons locked and loaded. Before the dust even settled, a man snapped Sofya’s neck while others charged for Yelena. The ten-year-old slipped out the backdoor and bolted, tears streaming down her face and with a furious aching in her heart._

_‘Mom…’_

A deafening cry tore through her throat, at least it felt that way but she didn’t hear. Not her own voice, not anything. Only the memories that tormented her.

_‘Strap that kid down and get her to stop screaming! We’ve already wasted enough time tracking her down,’ a man barked orders at those around him._

Yelena’s mind raged on. Chambers without windows, cold nights on the floor. Shackles and chains, injection needless. Screams and tears, another bloodied nose. The kickback of a rifle in her hands. So many languages to study and master. Pain, endless, and then… freedom.

_The Northern Lights illuminated the sky over Torshavn, such a magical sight, and Yelena wrapped her coat tighter around her body. The heels of her fur-lined boots clicked against the cobblestone street and echoed into the silent night. Home and a warm fire awaited her._

_It took almost a minute to open the four different locks she’d installed for safety and Yelena flicked on a light but before she could turn into her living room, something slammed her into the wall. Forcing her to fight for her life against a man whose face she’d never forget, but her attempts proved futile. His fist closed around her throat, her skull slammed into the floorboards repeatedly, and her body grew limp before the light faded from her eyes. Back to where it all began._

A sudden pain shot through her body and Yelena’s fists balled up. She tried to move, tried to get away, tried to shout but nothing worked. She was trapped, and at last her eyes opened.

* * *

“Stark used that cellphone a lot sooner than I'd expected.” Steve ran a hand through his locks and glanced around the Avengers compound. “What do you suppose happened?”

“Nothing good I'm sure.” Natasha fell in at his side, on high alert and skeptical.

Not long ago the Avengers team had been at each other's throats and they'd since gone their separate ways. Team Captain America and Team Iron Man. A war of friends and family, and they all knew exactly what had gone down between Rogers and Stark.

No, Natasha didn't trust the sudden invite to the compound but Steve had insisted and now Rhodes made for their meager welcome committee of one.

“You remember the facility in Siberia?” Rhodes beckoned both to follow him.

“Hard to forget,” Steve muttered.

“Tony and I went back there a few weeks later to canvas the place. Found a sub-level not listed on any blueprints.”

Rhodes paused for the retinal scan to access the elevators and continued his escort once they reached the basement.

“What did you discover?” asked Natasha. Nothing good ever came out of Siberia.

“Project Soldat X.”

“Soldier X? What’s that?”

“Another super soldier, alive in cryostasis. Guessing not even Zemo or Barnes knew—we didn’t at first.”

“Just the one? Why was this one kept elsewhere?” Steve wondered aloud.

“We don’t know,” said Rhodes, “but Tony has his suspicions. He’s spent the past month running various tests—biometrics, DNA analysis, the works—not his strong suit but he did find something of note.”

“Go on.”

“The serum-properties are congenital, though in a diminished capacity judging by the visible scar tissue of old injuries.”

“Congenital? You mean…”

“She was born with it.”

“She?”

“She.” Rhodes halted at the detainment blocks and activated a set of observation screens. “Tony woke her this morning.”

On the screen, white lights lit up a transportable holding cell. Long, dark brown locks cascaded down the woman’s shoulders and thick brows furrowed into a deadly glare. Steve froze when a pair of deep blue eyes stared directly into the camera. Eyes he’d seen before, eyes he knew but these empty and cold. Empty and cold in the same way… _his_ used to be.

The memories, a sense of deja-vu, held Steve in its grasp. “Bucky…”

Natasha clasped his elbow. “I see it too.”

“Who is she?” Steve spun around to Rhodes.

“Ilya, Vanya, Ivanka… she gives a different name each time Tony asks.”

“Unbelievable…” A gasp escaped Natasha’s lips. “Down to the curve of her mouth she looks exactly like him.”

An odd comment, Rhodes considered, and he quirked a brow to which Natasha chuckled. “It’s my job to take in every detail at all times, and the features of the Winter Soldier were seared into my mind long ago.”

“What did the tests show, other than traces of the serum?” asked Steve.

“That your buddy,” Tony began as he wandered into the security hub and read from his tablet, “managed to father a child. You know, in between his infamous killing sprees.”

“With the mental and emotional state they kept him in?” argued Steve. “That’s unlikely.”

“Yeah, well, unlikely or not, the result is sitting right there. Another super soldier, bred, not created. Congratulations, uncle Steve.” There was a strong hint of mockery in Tony’s tone.

“You’re sure Barnes is the father?” Natasha reviewed the data Tony had gathered.

“Blood was drawn and entered into our records—including a DNA profile—after Barnes was apprehended in Romania. The match speaks for itself.”

Both Steve and Rhodes followed along over Natasha’s shoulder though neither understood much about the science.

“Is there a match for her mother?” Steve wanted to know.

“Not in any database I have access to.” Tony sat himself down and spun around with his chair once before pointing a finger at the observation screens. “And she’s not telling us much.”

“Not anything?”

“Some mutterings in Russian as she came to. I introduced myself. You know, Avengers, S.H.I.E.L.D, etcetera and she spat at the window. I asked for a name, she rattled off a dozen. Small rants, all in Russian, and a lot of deadly glares. I was going to ask Friday to run translations but since you’re here now…”

“Yeah, we’re on it.” Natasha got the hint and nudged Steve.

The door slid open with a hiss and Steve followed Natasha inside, approaching the portable prison. He hated the thing. Sure, it had its uses but it reminded him too much of the fiasco that followed after Vienna and the prison’s occupant bearing Bucky’s likeness didn’t help.

Unsure of what to say and how to initiate a dialogue, he leaned back against the desk that stood a few inches from the prison and let Natasha take the lead.

“I understand you’re Russian?” she asked in her native tongue.

“Da.”

“Do you speak any English?”

Yelena remained mute, drumming her fingers along the armrest of her seat.

“That cell can’t be comfortable. If you cooperate we could change that.”

“You have no grounds to keep me in this death trap! Sadists,” Yelena spat in anger and bucked against her restraints.

Russian continued to prevail between the two women and Natasha shrugged. “You’re an enhanced individual who was found in cryostasis at a HYDRA facility, we’re not taking any chances.”

“Found and taken. From one prison to the next—_yours_. I have nothing to say.”

“You were their prisoner?” Natasha frowned and cast a quick glance over her shoulder to translate for the others.

“Sometimes. Made three escapes, they found me each time. Failed my fourth attempt so they put me on ice.”

Not a willing soldier, Natasha realized and took a second to consider her next move. She didn’t detect any deception in Yelena’s words and the anger towards HYDRA appeared real. Whether they’d performed any mental conditioning on the girl, she couldn’t say, but Natasha felt she might yield more results if she released Yelena from her prison.

“This guy next to me? He’s like you—strong and fast. If you try to attack us or make an attempt to run, you’ll have to answer to him. We’re not here to harm you.”

Yelena merely rolled her eyes.

“Understood?”

“Da.”

“Tony,” Natasha called out, “release her. I don’t think she’ll try anything and she knows the consequences if she does.”

“How about no? We don’t even know who she is,” Tony argued.

“And we’ll never find out without showing some goodwill. You brought me in for this so trust my judgment.”

“Fine but if she gives us any reason to suit up, it’s on you.” Reluctantly, he engaged the security override to start the release sequence.

Various metal clamps unlocked freeing Yelena’s ankles, wrists, shoulders, and head while the hatch of the mobile prison cell rose up. Silence thickened the air, and both Natasha and Steve braced themselves for an attempted escape or attack but Yelena simply stepped outside her confinements.

Rubbing each wrist and circling them in her hand, she eyed her captors. “That’s a start.”

Steve perked up at her words—he understood them clear as day. “So you do speak English.”

“Russian, German, English, French, Spanish, Italian and more. A gesture of goodwill, no?”

“Right, thank you.”

“So you are the Avengers? That’s S.H.I.E.L.D, yes?”

“We are.”

“Chort vozmi, so I am back in HYDRA custody.” She kicked the side of her mobile prison.

It took a second before anyone realized what she meant, then it clicked for Natasha.

“S.H.I.E.L.D isn’t what it used to be, and no longer corrupted by HYDRA,” she corrected. “We exposed them three years ago and have since systematically taken their forces and facilities out.”

“You… what?” Yelena blanched and took a step back with a face of absolute horror. “Three… _years_?”

“Is that a problem for you?” Tony asked via the intercom when he drew the wrong conclusions. “That all your old buddies are gone?”

“I don’t give a fuck what you did to HYDRA!” Yelena fumed, startled as she was. “What year is this?!”

“It’s 2017.” A look of concern crossed Steve’s face as he told her. “When did they lock you in cryo?”

“June 2012… Blyat!” she cursed out and ran a frantic hand through her hair. “Five years? I was out for five years?! Kakogo cherta!”

Too many questions suddenly plagued her mind and her aggressive demeanor faltered under their weight. She crouched down to her knees and put her head in her hands, shaking it repeatedly.

“I’m sorry.” Steve poured out a glass of water and sunk down to her level, offering a few sips. “I know a little of what it’s like to wake up and find out so much time has passed.”

Pleading eyes stared up at him. “What the hell happened?”

“Well, a lot…”

“So start talking.”

A small chuckle escaped Steve. “I will if you will. Maybe give us a name, your real one?”

“Right… quid pro quo.” A hint of hesitation remained but she was smart enough to understand continued silence wouldn’t get her anywhere. “Yelena, or Lena, that’s my name. Yelena Katerina Nikolaev.”

“Hi, Yelena. I’m Steve.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Russian expletives (Damn it, fuck, what the hell) courtesy of a Russian-speaking friend. I did my best to get them as accurate as possible, and apologies if they're somewhat off.
> 
> Also, as a reminder, this is a WIP and I tend not to plan or force certain pairings so please bear in mind, future couples may (or may not) develop naturally and when they do, I will adjust the tagging.


	2. Tales of the Past

**— 2: Tales of the Past —**

The lounge made for a far more pleasant setting than the detention block, Yelena thought while she let her fingertips trace across the back of the sofa. Everything here was brighter, cleaner, shinier. Modern but not cold. Of course, she knew that even in this room she was their prisoner but hey, the comfort of her seat and the warm coffee in her hand went a long way in making up for that fact.

“Who goes first?” Natasha sat down at the opposite end of the sofa.

“You.” Yelena decided and she explained, “I won’t share my life story without first being certain Hydra is no longer involved with your organization. Without knowing with absolute certainty they’re no longer a threat.”

Her lips pulled into a wry smile, adding, “I know their motto—cut off one head and two more shall take its place. So tell me, how many heads did you cut off?”

“Too many to count but, if you know Hydra the way we do then you know I’d be lying if I said they’ll never be back,” Steve admitted honestly.

“Exactly.”

“What I can say is that three years ago, when we became aware of Hydra’s rebirth within S.H.I.E.L.D, we exposed all files in our possession. Ever since, we’ve taken out most of their leaders, operatives, facilities, political affiliates and made the world aware. Much of Hydra fell with S.H.I.E.L.D and we still have agents in the field working daily to keep the Hydra threat contained.”

“If S.H.I.E.L.D is no more then who is this ‘we’ you speak of?” Yelena sipped her coffee.

“The people you see in this room. Every other person who operates from this compound. People loyal to S.H.I.E.L.D’s original mission statement, all over the world.”

“You, the Avengers? I may have been napping my way through the past five years but I’m not so numb that I didn’t notice the tension between you four. You’re not a team. Hydra? They’re many but with a single-minded goal and they will rise through your divide.”

“Observant,” said Tony. “And how do you know so much about their methods? You sound intimately familiar, far more than a prisoner would ever be.”

“I was more than a prisoner…”

Yelena let out a deep sigh and set her mug down. “I was born into Hydra, trained by them. I’ve been chased by them, robbed of the few things that ever mattered to me. Fought with and against them, and I despise them with every fiber of my being.”

Silence passed between the four Avengers. Tony, his lips already parted for a snarky remark, caught Natasha’s eye and swallowed back his judgment. If anyone could relate it had to be her.

“Will you tell us your story?” Steve sat down on the armrest next to her.

“Am I your prisoner no matter what I say?”

“No. We’re just playing it safe, I hope you understand that.”

Yelena nodded. “I was born in Russia in 1989. My mother, Sofya, was a medical scientist in Hydra’s employ, my father a super-soldier—James. According to her, he was a man whose mind was as shattered as his body often times but in moments of clarity, their love was real.”

An ‘I told you’ glance was exchanged between Tony and Steve, with the latter merely shaking his head.

“My mother wanted to leave when she became pregnant but Hydra knew of their affair and wouldn’t let her. James disappeared before I was born—killed, according to my mother. The first three years of my life I grew up in that facility. Not the nicest of places but I knew no better. My mother explained once that I was unique, had gifts like my father, and Hydra wanted them. A soldier born and raised by them, the ultimate guarantee for loyalty,” Yelena ended with a scoff.

“I don’t remember any of it but she said they began using me for experiments. That’s when she risked it all and we escaped in the dead of night. We fled to Saratov and lived in peace for about seven years until they found us again. Raided our cottage and killed my mother—I ran because she told me to.”

Needing a moment to collect her thoughts and tame her emotions, Yelena got up to pour out a second cup of coffee. There was no sense dwelling on the past and yet, it got to her each time she thought back to the snapping sound of her mother’s neck.

“For three days I hid in the woods where they eventually found me. I had no fight left in me, not without her, and they brought me to Germany. Hydra continued my education and began training me. Various forms of combat, weapon expertise, a dozen languages, field analysis, and tactics, you name it. Killed my first man when I was thirteen.”

“Sounds familiar.” Natasha’s brows furrowed and she felt a chill run down her spine.

“You too?”

“The KGB.”

That was enough of an explanation for Yelena who nodded and continued, “In 2005, when I was sixteen, myself and a team traveled to London for an infiltration mission. Airport security was at an all-time high with the increase of terrorism and I took advantage—slipped away from my handler when Customs separated us. Found my way to the Scottish Highlands a few days later where I stayed for two years.”

Again she took a sip from her coffee and let a deep half sigh, half moan, pass her lips. The dark, aroma heavy brew was such a long-missed delight, a simple and yet invaluable pleasure.

“Got my hands on a new identity as Rachel Wilson and lived in Stonehaven for a while working as a farmhand to earn my keep. Nice family but in 2007, after my eighteenth birthday, I moved out. Traveled further north to Torshavn in the Faroe Islands where I worked as a cook and bartender at a local pub. Things went well, I kept to myself a lot but I was happy. Almost felt human and safe until _he_ showed up late 2008…”

Something in her eyes shifted and her body language grew rigid, prompting Rhodes to ask, “He, who?”

“Soldiers used to tell me scary stories about him to make me behave. Said his eyes were deadly and cold like the frozen tundras in Russia. No heart, no soul, only his single-minded purpose—to kill. A man with a metal arm that could snap you in half before you’d ever see him coming. A legend of mythical proportions, a ghost—the Winter Soldier.”

The mug she held shattered in her fist and her jaw clenched. The memory so vivid that she could practically feel him choking her again.

“I never fought so hard in my life, never experienced so much pain. He was waiting for me in my apartment and not a brick was left standing when he was done. Every bone in my body felt broken, I couldn’t walk and I couldn’t run. His metal hand closed around my throat, he nearly crushed my skull and when I woke up back at the Hydra facility in Germany, weeks had passed.”

Yelena blew out a staggered breath as she tried to calm herself. “I honestly thought he’d killed me.”

No one said a word and the tension was palpable. Tony itched to speak up but couldn’t bring himself to while Steve banished every notion he had of talking to Yelena about his best friend.

“Did you take him out as well?” Hope lingered in Yelena’s eyes.

“We did,” Natasha spoke an ambiguous truth before anyone else could respond. “The Winter Soldier is gone.”

“I’d love to hear about that sometime…” Yelena mused, caught up in her own recollections. It wasn’t until Steve leaned down to pick up the shards of her mug that she snapped out of it. “Sorry about that…”

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” Steve flashed her a forced smile.

“Thanks.”

“So what happened next? Back with Hydra?”

“Yes. They kept me in isolation for almost a year and I was subjected to various forms of torture, experimentation, interrogation. After, they began my training again, this time combined with reconditioning therapy. In 2012, they put me back in the field and I made another attempt to escape but failed. That’s when they put me on ice.”

Tony finished for her, “And then we came along.”

“Yup.”

“So in a way, we saved you.” A smirk lingered on his face but Yelena rolled her eyes.

“Say that again while you walk me beyond the security gates of this compound.”

Quiet seconds dragged on. Neither Steve or Natasha knew what to say, and both knew there wasn’t much to say save for the one secret they were keeping and that wasn’t a thing to spring on Yelena today. Rhodes, on the other hand, finished his notes having taken down every date and name Yelena supplied. He handed his tablet over to Tony.

“I’ll get back to you about that after I verify everything you’ve told us,” Tony stated.

“Go for it.” Yelena felt grateful enough that no one offered her their sympathy.

She had no interest in hollow sentiments and never shared her story to be pitied—just to sate their curiosity so they’d, hopefully, let her leave.

“Could take a while. Rhodey, set her up in one of the guestrooms and restrict her access to this level.” Tony rose from his seat with the tablet in hand. “Food’s in the kitchen, make yourself at home. Don’t make a mess.”

“At home? Just how long will it take you to investigate me?” Yelena frowned.

“No idea but look kid, day’s almost over and you’ve spent five years in cryo. Acclimate, relax. Eat something, have a drink, take a shower, whatever. Give us and yourself some time.”

“It’d be foolish to ask if you’re always this bossy huh?”

Natasha got up and chuckled. “You learn fast. I’ll get you some basic necessities and clothes to wear. Steve, a hand?”

“Coming.”

“Guess that leaves me to give you the grand tour.” Rhodes gestured for Yelena to follow him.

To say she wasn’t thrilled about staying even for another minute would be an understatement but, on the other hand, she had to admit the compound did make for a rather nice prison and at least she wasn’t in shackles and chains.

“Lead on.”

* * *

“So what are we thinking?” Tony caught up to Steve and Natasha. “Does she have a trigger in her mind that’s about to blow like Barnes’, or are we dealing with another traumatized orphan?”

“Trigger could be but if they were ever successful in altering her mind, how is it she attempted to escape so often?” Natasha dug through storage and gathered up items she believed to be in Yelena’s size.

“If she ever did. For all we know she’s a sleeper agent with a tall tale to tell.”

“Weren’t you on your way to verify her story?” Steve folded his arms over his chest.

“Friday’s searching every accessible database right now.”

“I believe her,” said Natasha. “The inflections in her voice, the look in her eyes, her body language… you can't fake that and you saw the anguish when she spoke about the Winter Soldier.”

“Yeah, about that—I take it we’re _not_ telling her that daddy dearest and the man who nearly killed her are the same?”

“No.” Steve was adamant. “Not yet at least. Let her adjust to her new circumstances first.”

“Probably a good idea. People tend not to react well toward your buddy when they learn—”

“Tony.” Natasha shook her head and came between them.

“What? I have a right to be pissed and at least I had the decency to contact you and tell you about her. Even after you all abandoned me.”

“We didn’t abandon you,” Steve tried to reason. “You got my message, you used that phone. That’s all it took for us to come running back.”

“Where is he now? Barnes? Not that I want him here but you two were all ‘reunited and it feels so good’ and now, what? Moved on already? Lost him again?”

“He’s safe and healing.”

Tony scowled—something inside of him simply refused to let go of the events in Siberia. “I’m going to see if Friday’s found anything.”

“Ignore him.” Natasha clasped Steve’s elbow after Tony left. “He stews longer than most.”

“Yeah, I know. He just… he’s impossible sometimes.”

“Most of the time.” She laughed. “But he did have a point—he contacted us about Yelena. He didn’t have to do that, he could have hidden her away the second he reviewed her DNA analysis and no one would ever know.”

“I’m sure Rhodey had something to do with that.” Steve took the stacks of clothing and toiletry bag from her.

“Probably, but Tony’s mind can’t be changed unless he believes in it too.”

“Hm. Do you think she’s alright?”

“Lena? Yes and no. She’s playing things on the tough side but the stuff she’s been through? You never forget. You learn to live with it but it always comes back as if you’re living it right in that moment.”

“I know that feeling. Bucky will be crushed when he finds out.”

Natasha chewed on the inside of her lip. “How long will it be before they wake him?”

“T’Challa said it could be a few weeks, months or even years.”

“At least that buys us time to ease her into the news.”

“Nat, what if her story checks out and she decides to leave?” Steve’s brows furrowed.

“Then we have to let her get on with life and keep an eye on her from afar.”

“She’s his family, I can’t turn my back.”

“Let’s just take this one step at a time, _uncle_ Steve.” Natasha teased with a smile. “Who knows, maybe she’ll warm up to us.”


	3. No More Than Strangers

**— 3: No more than Strangers —**

Even after her fourth shower, Yelena struggled to get warm. As if the cryo process still affected her hours later. She shivered and dressed in a pair of long, thick sweats and a hoodie two sizes too big but that didn’t matter—she preferred them that way.

_‘Shacking up with the Avengers…’_ The mere thought made her frown.

It seemed like only yesterday that she’d been watching the worldwide news report regarding the alien invasion in New York—even Hydra had been in a state of emergency. Of course, given that most of their force was blended in with S.H.I.E.L.D, they would be, but the Avengers had prevailed.

They weren’t anonymous to her. The moment whispers regarding the Avengers Initiative spread through S.H.I.E.L.D, every Hydra operative had received a lengthy briefing about each possible team member so they could prepare. Well, most. There’d been two faces on the battlefield that Yelena didn’t recall ever hearing about.

_‘Aliens though…’_

Nothing new to Hydra, they’d long ago realized that several supposed mythical items were in fact alien technology, but Yelena had scoffed at the possibility. That was, right up until the Chitauri showed up all over the news.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

She hadn’t heard Steve knocking nor approach, and jumped away from the window she’d been staring out of.

“You, actually,” Yelena admitted.

Steve tilted his head slightly. “Oh?”

“Were you scared?”

“When?”

“New York and the whole ‘yikes, aliens are real’ thing.”

“Ah.” He laughed and quickly realized that in ways, she was stuck in the past. He’d been too, once upon a time, and no matter the number of years passed in between he knew it was an odd thing to catch up on.

“Instinct took over when it happened, there wasn’t time to consider the alien-factor. They were the enemy and came to destroy us, stopping them was all that mattered,” he explained.

“Yeah but, after?” Yelena sat down on the foot end of her bed.

“After? It was quite a shock. I went from a world at war with the Nazis, into the ice, and woke up to a world where aliens and monsters from old time radio dramas had become a reality. I was still grappling with many other changes when the Chitauri arrived. Although…”

“Hmm?”

Steve sat down next to her, his hands clasped together between his knees. “In your time with Hydra did you ever hear about Johann Schmidt?”

“The Red Skull? Everyone has, and you took him out.”

“I tried but, I don’t know. Something strange happened with this object he had in his possession, the Tesseract. He held it and it was as though the universe opened up right above us. A bright beam came down and then he was gone. Disintegrated I assumed. Today we know the Tesseract is an alien artifact so, in a way, I was exposed to proof of alien existence long ago. I just never knew.”

“Wow… even back in the forties?” Yelena blew out a sigh. “Makes you wonder just how involved they are, or have been in our history. What else is out there.”

“I’m not sure I want to know.”

She looked at him with a wry smile. “Must have been hard for you, waking up to this changed world after so long. It’s only been a few years for me and yet I feel…”

“Like you’re not really here? That perhaps this is all just your mind playing tricks on you?”

“Basically, yeah. Doesn’t help that I’m cooped up in here with strangers. At a strange compound in a strange country.”

“I was too. The country wasn’t strange to me though it may as well have been. It’ll take time to adjust.”

“Did you?”

His brows furrowed. “I’m not always sure. I’ve adjusted, I understand this world more today but I’ve also been running while standing still.”

That confused her, Steve saw and elaborated, “Working with S.H.I.E.L.D and the Avengers has kept me busy and pushing forward, but I’ve struggled finding my place in this world as Steve. Steve is… in some ways still stuck in 1945.”

“Steve is talking about himself in the third person.”

“I’m only trying to explain,” he laughed.

“I know, and I get what you’re saying. I can’t fully relate, I never had much of a life in the first place so for me, well at least that’s still the same.”

“Not even during the few years when you were hiding from Hydra?”

Yelena rolled one shoulder in a lazy shrug. “I was either working or at my apartment, didn’t socialize. I knew their reach extended far so I kept my head down. On top of that, I always knew there’d be a chance I’d have to run again and any life I’d made for myself would be left behind. Why build one in the first place?”

“That sounds lonely.”

“Coming from a man who’s living in a holding pattern because a part of him is waiting for his life in 1945 to continue.”

“Is that what I’m doing?”

“Sounds like it.”

“You could be right.” Steve gave her half a smile.

Silence fell between them, one long enough for Yelena to shrink back into herself and remember that her goal was to get away from the compound. That these people were no more than strangers to her regardless of any profile she’d read and studied years ago. Just strangers and she had no need for people in her life.

“Have you heard from uh… Tony? Is he done yet with my background check?” she asked.

“Not yet, no.”

“Oh, alright…” She got up and wandered back toward the window.

“Why are you so anxious to leave?” Steve noticed the change in her posture.

The way her arms wrapped tight around body and her chin dipped low, nearly touching her sternum. As though she was trying to escape inward because going anywhere else wasn’t an option.

“Because I have no need or reason to stay.”

“But what do you have out there? By your own admission, you never had a life, there isn’t anything to go back to.”

Yelena closed her eyes. They were harsh words but she knew them to be true. “Maybe I can finally start one.”

“Alone?”

“I’m used to it.”

There was no wisdom Steve could offer, and to preach about the people he had in his life? They had his back and were always there when he needed them but he only ever needed them when it came to the job. He called them his friends, Sam and Natasha in particular, and he trusted them blindly but just how deep did those friendships go? Occasional celebratory get-togethers with the team and the odd text but nothing that came close to the bond he shared with… Bucky.

He glanced back at Yelena, seeing only her back. Wet tips of her hair stained the light-grey hoodie she wore.

Bucky was the only one to ever truly know him. Bucky had known the kid who’d get bullied and beaten up on a regular basis. The kid who struggled to socialize and didn’t know how to talk to women. Bucky had known his brightest and darkest days, his proudest moments and his most embarrassing secrets. Bucky had known never to let him cook breakfast because he’d always burn the eggs.

Being truthful with himself, Steve realized he was alone too. Peggy was gone and so was Howard. Bucky had come back but there was no telling whether he would ever have his friend again, not the way they were. That all depended on T’Challa and his people.

Maybe she was right—he was in a holding pattern waiting for his old life to resume and through doing so, he’d formed a barrier around himself that new friendships simply couldn’t penetrate.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring you down,” Yelena said at last.

“No, you didn’t. I have baggage of my own.”

She merely nodded in response and before Steve could utter another word to keep her talking, Natasha poked her head around the door.

“Pizza’s here guys.”

* * *

“I reviewed the information you provided,” said Tony, his mood and tone indiscernible, while he took up the empty stool across from Yelena at the kitchen island. “Word of advice? If you’re running from someone, avoid social media.”

He slid his tablet across the counter and helped himself to a slice of pizza. “Friday found those images using facial recognition.”

There were three photos of her. One where she could be seen in the background of a guy’s selfie and another where she could be seen entering the pub behind a couple of tourists. The third was a photo of the kitchen and staff at the pub, taken while everyone was busy working, but the pub’s owner had tagged her name—Rachel Wilson.

“I always wondered how they’d found me…” A deep sigh escaped Yelena’s lips. “I worked so hard to avoid these kind of things… I didn’t know this photo was taken.”

“Not hard enough but at least this confirms your story. Friday also found an old news story from 2005, something about a dark-haired teenage girl running from Customs at Heathrow Airport?”

“Told you.”

“Mm yes, you did, but what you didn’t tell us…” Tony reached over and swiped to the next page. “Is that you were involved in the murder of Dorian Archer and his housekeeper.”

A video played for all to see—Yelena entering a townhouse after complaining about being lost and wanting to call her parents. Leaving again minutes later after crushing a man’s neck in her fist and shooting the older woman who caught her in the act.

Yelena paled at both the video and the memory that surfaced, her lips pulling into a tight line.

“Pulled that from S.H.I.E.L.D’s archives. Police never found the security cameras and neither did you because S.H.I.E.L.D hid them well. See, Archer was a board-member at the time, an extremely influential one. A good man. Fury really liked the guy,” Tony confronted her.

“Archer almost found out about Hydra. They knew he’d be paranoid and not trust a soul, but that he wouldn’t shut the door on a lost child standing in the pouring rain. I had my orders,” she relayed while trying to keep her cool.

“This was in 2004, you were fifteen! Fifteen and already—”

Jumping to her own defense, Yelena interrupted, “Yes I was and don’t act so shocked. I told you I killed my first man when I was thirteen, emphasis on _first_. Didn’t that clue you in? Should I make you a list of every person I’ve ever harmed or killed?!”

“Yes! Maybe you should!”

Natasha gave Tony a pointed look. “Should I make a list as well? I promise you it’ll be longer than hers.”

Everyone went dead quiet. She’d brought up the one subject Tony didn’t dare touch, not since he’d last accused her of being unable to shake her double-agent nature. Yelena, on the other hand, fought hard to quell the guilt that turned her stomach sour and didn’t dare look at any of them.

“There is no need for any lists,” Steve decided. “She has a past, many of us do, but we don’t judge one another.”

Tony scoffed, his mood turned bitter, “Yeah, you would say that.”

“Meaning?”

“You. Captain America, protecting Hydra assassins.”

“Tony that’s enough,” Rhodes tried to stop him from saying too much in Yelena’s presence.

“Yes, it is enough and I’m not going through this again. I want her out of here within the hour.”

“Tony!” Natasha gasped. “We’re not kicking her out!”

“No, you’re not, I am. She doesn’t want to be here anyway and please, feel free to go with her.”

Steve slammed a flat hand down against the counter. “You know something? It’s not that people abandon you—_you_ push them away and cast them aside the minute things don’t go your way!”

“Because I have no need for traitors in my life!”

Whatever was happening now was no longer about her, Yelena figured that out quick, but she needed their attention once more for one simple reason. “Can someone please show me to the door so I can go?”

“Right this way.” Tony hopped from his seat but Steve stopped him with a firm hand on his shoulder.

“Tony don’t do this. Please. I know you’re upset, I know you’re still angry with me and I understand why but don’t take that out on her.”

“How can I not when she…”

He almost let it slip—the secret they’d agreed to keep and the reason why he found it so hard to give Yelena a chance. Her likeness and relation to Bucky was a constant reminder for Tony, and Steve realized it too.

“I know but that isn’t her fault. Please.”

Incapable of verbally conceding or even accepting the fact his anger toward Yelena was slightly unjust, Tony walked away and only added, “She’s free to leave but if she’s staying, keep her away from me.”

They watched him march off, all except for Yelena who took advantage of their momentary distraction and snatched Tony’s tablet from the counter. She hid it under her hoodie and excused herself by stating she needed time and wanted to be left alone.

In truth, she needed answers and suspected that asking wasn’t an option.


	4. No Point In Goodbyes

**— 4: No Point in Goodbyes —**

If only she could lock her door from the inside. Who knew the kind of hell that would break loose if they’d catch her with the stolen—no, _borrowed_—tablet. She had every intention of returning it, just as soon as…

“Captain America.” Yelena entered her first search.

What had Tony meant when he’d accused Steve of protecting Hydra assassins? Why had he called Captain America, of all people, a traitor?

The results were endless. “Steven Rogers, World War II, camp Lehigh… blah blah—I knew that already.”

She scrolled past numerous articles—the news, the Smithsonian archive—there was plenty to read about Steve Rogers and Captain America. Then a photograph and name caught her eye.

“James Buchanan Barnes… Steve and Bucky, best friends since childhood. Captured by Hydra troops, Barnes endured long periods of isolation, deprivation and torture. Liberated by childhood friend Steve Rogers… Howling Commandos, the only one to give his life in service of his country.”

His photograph held her fascination more than anything. This man was a mere stranger who’d died decades ago and yet, a sense of familiarity gnawed away at Yelena.

_‘It’s probably just his name,’_ she decided for herself. All her life, despite what her mother had believed, she’d kept her eyes and ears peeled for any man named James. A hint of foolish and childish hope.

She shut the feeling down. Tragic as the articles read, none of it explained the tension between Tony and Steve. Changing her strategy, she narrowed her search to news articles of the past two years.

“Captain America a wanted man after aiding the escape of… what?!”

Her heart dropped._ ‘He’s alive?’_

Without another thought, and skipping a few breath intakes, she altered her search. “The Winter Soldier.”

A news broadcast popped up on the screen, one from less than a year ago.

_A bomb hidden in a news van ripped through the UN building in Vienna. More than 70 people have been injured. At least 12 are dead, including Wakanda’s King T’Chaka. Officials have released a video of a suspect who they have identified as James Buchanan Barnes, the Winter Soldier. The infamous Hydra agent linked to numerous acts of terrorism and political assassinations._

The British newscaster’s voice rang in her ears and Yelena sat frozen. Unable to tear her eyes away from the footage shown—the face that had haunted her ever since that night in Torshavn.

“James Buchanan Barnes… is the Winter Soldier. Steve’s friend. Steve helped him escape… but then why…”

It would explain Tony’s anger, to an extent, if Steve acted against his orders but something about their animosity felt personal. The other two weren’t nearly as angered and had called on Tony to back down. And why would Steve aid the Winter Soldier in the first place, was it purely because of their friendship over eighty years ago?

_‘Or they’re working together. Steve insisting on me staying, what if he’s contacted him and he’s on his way?’_

Great, now paranoia was kicking in. She should have known finding answers would only lead to further questions but who could she trust to explain? Her finger hovered over the screen and she pulled up a list of recently accessed files.

> James Buchanan Barnes  
> Yelena Katerina Nikolaev  
> Project #83951

She clicked the top file and cursed when it prompted for her access code. _‘Figures.’_

Yelena tried a few combinations against her better judgment, mashing letters and numbers together but to no avail. Of course not. A man like Tony Stark would be a lot smarter about protecting his files and it wasn’t as though she knew him well enough for a targeted guess.

Why had Bucky’s file been opened so recently along with her own?

_‘I can’t stay here. I never wanted to in the first place and they’ve lied. Natasha said the Winter Soldier was gone and I believed her…’_

There was another thing that stung—her conversation with Steve. She’d almost dropped her first set of walls while talking to him, their chat felt so natural and genuine, but now she had to wonder whether he’d played her. Perhaps tried stalling her.

Whatever his goal, she was more certain than ever that she had to get away from the compound. With the tablet in hand, she rushed to leave her room only to bump into Tony in the doorway.

He snatched the tablet from her. “My security program sends out an alert any time someone tries to access my files without authorization. Did you really think ‘iamthebest’ would be my password?”

“How did you know it was me?”

“Tracker software that runs on all my devices pinpointed this room.”

“I was about to return it to you. I want to leave.”

“Great! But first…” He browsed through the history which only confirmed his suspicions. “Let’s talk about this.”

“Why?” Yelena glanced at the article she’d read earlier. “You’ll only lie.”

“I didn’t lie.”

“No, Natasha did. You remained silent knowing she fed me a lie which is just as bad.”

“How much did you uncover?”

“All of it, or at least most. Steve and Bucky, childhood friends, both served, etcetera. Steve became Captain America, Bucky died except he didn’t and then went on to become the Winter Soldier. Blew up a UN building and Captain America helped him escape,” Yelena summarized. “I’m just not sure why this is personal for you.”

“Who says it’s personal?”

“You, while you’re deflecting rather than denying.”

“Oooh check out the new kid everyone,” Tony called out to a non existent audience. “Earned her brownie points in psych one-oh-one.”

“Keep posturing, it only further proves my point. So either talk, or let me walk.”

Tony’s index finger danced over the screen and he pulled up a private file. The photo of a couple.

“Meet Howard and Maria Stark. Lovely people, brilliant. My parents and _he_…”

The end of that sentence was obvious. “Killed them.”

“Yep. And Steve knew about it, before I did.”

“But helped him anyway?”

“Hard to forgive.”

Yelena nodded—everything made a lot more sense. Even his attitude toward her, or so she believed.

“That’s why you and Steve aren’t on good terms. Why you hate me. To you I’m just another Hydra assassin, and I did harm members of S.H.I.E.L.D. I’m a constant reminder and not entirely innocent.”

“That…” Tony, as a rare occurrence, considered his words carefully but Yelena didn’t wait.

“I get it. I hate him too, for what he did to me, for what he took from me. I hope to never cross paths with him again so I get your anger and for what it’s worth, I’m sorry for what he put you and your family through. He’s a monster.”

He could tell her no. Tell her that there was more to Bucky’s alter ego but despite knowing, he hadn’t quite accepted that fact yet himself and so he kept silent.

“Anyway…” Yelena glanced around the room purely out of habit.

It wasn’t as if she owned anything to bring with her. Nothing. Even the clothes on her back were loaners but she’d figure something out, she had before.

“I would like to leave, especially now I know this. I’d rather not be around the next time Steve’s best friend comes knocking.”

Tony wouldn’t stop her, his own pain and resentment too great, but he couldn’t just send her out into the cold. “I have a safe house—”

“No. If you know then others could find out. Just unlock the gates for me, please.”

“Kid…”

“I’m no kid, I’ll manage.” She slipped her feet into the sneakers Natasha had given her.

“Fine.” A few taps on his tablet was all it took. “You’re free to go, the gate’s open.”

“Thank you, and for the brief hospitality.”

No time to waste and it wasn’t as though she felt compelled to share any heartfelt goodbyes. The door was open and she was gone, turning straight for the elevator to the lobby before any of the others would spot her. Night had fallen already and a brisk wind hit her face the second she stepped outside the compound.

_‘Run.’_ Instinct took over and she raced for the gate that parted upon her approach. Freedom lay ahead of her, she just needed to put a few more miles between herself and…

Crap, she had no idea what city she was in.

* * *

“She’s gone!” Steve ran into the kitchen. “I just went to check on her, ask her to join us for breakfast and—”

“Left last night.” Tony was rather nonchalant and his news turned the heads of Natasha and Rhodes.

“What? And you let her?!”

“She was adamant after she discovered the truth.”

Not liking his tone one bit, Natasha asked, “What truth?”

“She did some snooping, found out about Barnes and his alter ego, the events in Vienna. How Cap helped the Winter Soldier avoid custody.”

“You told her?”

“I caught her when she was trying to hack personal files on my tablet which she took while you weren’t paying attention. She confronted me, told me what she’d uncovered, then asked to leave.”

It took a good second for Steve to swallow his anger. “But you didn’t tell her everything, did you?”

“I thought we’d agreed to keep a certain piece of information quiet.” Tony feigned innocence.

“No, not that part. About Bucky’s conditioning, the mind wipes, that he had no control over the Winter Soldier or his actions.”

“Knowing that doesn’t undo the things he’s done. It’s not the balm you think it is for those who’ve suffered at his hands.”

“So you just let her believe the worst and walk out, knowing fine well who she is? Knowing full well that things aren’t as black and white?”

“That’s low, Tony,” Natasha admonished. “Forget the fact you didn’t bother to correct her, you let her walk out while she hasn’t got a penny to her name? No home to turn to, no possessions, not a damn thing in the middle of January in New York?”

“I offered to let her stay at a safe house, she turned me down and she’s survived worse. She’ll be fine.”

Steve’s fist came out of nowhere and a split second later, Tony had his suit activated.

“Oh you wanna go for round two?!” Tony mocked a challenge. “Fine, let’s see what you’re made of without that shield!”

Natasha and Rhodes dove out of the way just as Tony tossed Steve across the kitchen counter. Pummeling away against Steve’s chest and arms until he’d maneuvered their fight outside to the rooftop patio—he was fed up with repairs to the compound.

“That shield didn’t make me who I am!” Steve yelled while he tucked into a roll to avoid another hit.

“Guys come on, not this again!” Natasha shouted but there was little point. “Can you do something?” she asked Rhodes.

“I don’t have my suit.”

The two men tumbled and fought. Traded blow for blow and matched each other in their footwork. Where Steve flipped and lunged through the air, Tony would fly and where Tony was looking to settle a score, Steve went the route of defensive combat. He’d never meant to initiate another fight but Tony had pushed one too many buttons.

For Steve, the events in Siberia were still rather fresh too. He hurt too. Not for the loss of a parent but the loss of one old friend at the hands of his best friend. His best friend who’d been scarred, possibly beyond repair, and though he’d known for longer than Tony had, watching the archived footage had left him sick.

“My father—” Tony smashed the full power of his fist into Steve’s jaw.

“Was my friend! He was to both of us!”

“And he thought you were his friend, this great hero but then he was murdered and you couldn’t care less! You didn’t do—”

Before Tony could finish his accusation, a massive, rainbow-hued beam came between the pair. Separating both and tossing them to opposite ends of the field while two new presences announced themselves.

“My, my, and what did we just walk in on?” Amusement dripped from Loki’s tongue. “Please, carry on.”

Natasha rolled her eyes and groaned, “Oh that’s just great.”

“What? I’ve always wanted to see who’d win a fight between—”

“Brother, shut up,” Thor gruffed before he looked at the others. “But uh, what _did_ we walk in on?”


	5. A Whole New World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A reminder that for the purpose of this story I've made minor alterations to the ending of Thor: Ragnarok. In this case, Hela was defeated on Asgard without destroying the planet in the process and Surtur had no role in the final battle.

**— 5: A Whole New World —**

“So you went to war with each other, and now everyone’s gone their separate way?” Thor poured himself a drink at the bar after the others finished filling him in. “I’ve missed out on everything!”

“Yeah,” said Tony as he paraded around in his suit sans helmet. “Where were you?”

“Oh. Well, uh, first there was this big fiery monster, Surtur, threatening to destroy Asgard but I took care of him. Then I returned home and found Loki impersonating father,” Thor began a tale of his own adventures.

“I was quite good at it,” added Loki. He sat awkward between Thor and Steve, two men ready to lay a smackdown on him should he need it.

“No, you were not. Loki had banished father to earth and then lost him but some wizard sent us to Norway where he died.”

“Father that is, not the wizard,” Loki clarified and he muttered, “should have been the wizard.”

“Right.”

Steve sat forward in surprise. “Odin is gone?”

Thor nodded. “And his death freed the sister I didn’t know I had from the prison father kept her in. Hela, goddess of death, Odin’s firstborn. Things got a little messy because she wanted to rule Asgard and we had to stop her but Loki got scared and opened the bifrost—”

“She shattered your hammer without breaking a sweat!” Loki exclaimed rather dramatically.

“You lost your hammer?” Natasha frowned.

It was an odd scene while the six sat around the lounge. All the more so because everyone was so busy keeping an eye on Loki that none had noticed Thor’s missing eye, and his story sounded miraculous. Rhodes believed he’d never get used to actual gods in their midst.

“I don’t need my hammer, I have thunder,” Thor scoffed and told the whole story.

How he and Loki were thrown from the bifrost and landed on Sakaar where they reunited with Bruce. Sharing in vivid and victorious detail how he’d battled the Hulk in a gladiatorial event and met Valkyrie. Retelling how they all banded together to escape Sakaar and return to Asgard to confront Hela.

“She took my eye and nearly cost Loki his life but in the end we managed to defeat her. Asgard is safe once more and my brother is finally a hero!” Thor clapped Loki on the shoulder. The latter merely grimaced.

“So where is Banner now?” asked Rhodes, watching Natasha from the corner of his eye.

“Still on Asgard. Something about wanting to study our elements but uh…” Thor glanced Natasha’s way. “He spent years stuck as the big guy, that did something to him.”

“He’ll be back,” Tony figured. He pointed a finger at Loki. “But why is _he_ here?”

“My brother has come to make amends,” Thor announced with great enthusiasm. “Now that he is a hero of Asgard, he wants to make right with the people of earth.”

“Wants to?” Steve questioned the wording.

“Well I’m making him.”

“There is glorious purpose to be found in aiding the people of earth rather than trying to rule them,” Loki monotonously recited the line Thor had been preaching to him.

“Come on, brother, show a little more excitement. Remember how the people of Asgard cheered when you helped save us?”

For a split second, Loki grinned—it had been a wonderful and intoxicating feeling to be lauded.

“But why is he _here_?” Tony asked a second time.

“He’s going to help you.” Thor made it sound like the most logical thing in the world. “There is always trouble on earth, just point him in the right direction.”

“How about no?” suggested Natasha. Her second-chances rule was limited to human beings only, not all-powerful gods from another planet.

“Told you this would be a waste of time.” Loki got up, fully ready to return to Asgard. “They don’t want me here.”

Thor sat him back down by yanking his arm. “We are the Avengers. Or… well, about a third of the Avengers but this is what we do!

“We take in the misguided and let them make up for their mistakes! Like uh, the kid from Sokovia. And the Vision. I mean, he wasn’t really misguided so much as he is… you know what I mean,” he rambled with fervor and flashed a big smile at his comrades.

“You’re right, that’s who we used to be,” said Steve and he looked at Tony in accusation. “But we haven’t been doing much of that lately. Nowadays we’re more about trying to kill those who’ve done wrong or kicking them out.”

“You think so?” Tony played the fool and suggested the unexpected, “I was actually thinking Loki might be able to help with our latest problem. Someone to keep an eye on your lost little lamb without spooking her?”

“Are you kidding me? You want _him_ to track her down and look after her?!”

“One stone, many birds. It gets them both out of my hair and you’re worried, right? But you can’t go after her because the second she sees you, she’ll run again.”

“Loki is a master of disguise,” Thor offered though he wasn’t quite sure what the others had in mind.

“See, there you go, he’d be perfect for the job. He’s no agent, he’s not even a friend and she’d never recognize him.”

“I don’t know about this, Tony,” Rhodes argued. “Sending the God of Mischief after a young woman who by now probably hates our guts?”

“Does she?” Loki perked up. “I like her already.”

“You’re not helping matters,” Thor sighed at him. “Who is this lost lamb?”

“A stray,” Tony explained the entire situation revolving around Yelena. “And now she’s gone.”

“So where will I find her?” asked Loki.

“You won’t.” Steve didn’t appreciate this plan one bit.

“He will,” Tony corrected. “She knows most of us and the others are in the wind. We can’t risk just any regular agent because they’d be no match for her if something happens but Loki is Asgardian, a god. I doubt she could cause him injury and would we really care if she did?”

“It’s not him I’m worried for.”

“He’s your best option. Friday, can you run facial recognition for Yelena on all available feeds?”

_“I already have, sir. No sighting but there is a report about a woman matching her description tearing an ATM from the wall on West 52nd street. No one was injured but close to two thousand dollars was taken from the machine. No CCTV available in the area,”_ Friday relayed.

“Guess she’s no longer penniless,” Natasha sighed.

Thor got up, rather too excitedly, and pulled Loki to his feet. “Then to West 52nd street we go!”

“Hey now, hold up just a second!” Steve jumped up and marched up to Tony. “Do you really hate her so much that you’d send _him_,” he argued and pointed at Loki, “to watch over her? Did you forget what he’s done, what he’s capable of?”

“Bit reluctant with the second chances when it comes to the safety of someone you care about, huh Cap?” Tony folded his arms over his chest.

“You’d throw her to the wolves just to make a point?”

“No harm will come to the girl, he will protect her with his life. Right, Loki?” Thor nudged his brother.

“Right.” Loki grimaced though there was some hesitation toward his new challenge. “But, just to check, how strong are we talking? Hulk strong or...?”

“Human’ish strong, like Cap,” said Tony.

“Doesn’t matter how strong she is.” Steve was adamant. “We’re not sending Loki to find her. I’m sorry but there has to be another way.”

“I give up.” Tony shook his head and groaned. “You know we’re only trying to help, right?”

“You shouldn’t have let her leave in the first place!”

“She wanted to leave! Wanted to get away from us, from _you_, and I can’t say I blame her! Do you even realize that you being here means we’re harboring fugitives? That we’re all done for if Ross finds out? But still I called you and not once have you thanked me, shown any appreciation or understanding!”

As far as limits went, Tony felt pushed beyond his.

“I am grateful!” Steve insisted. “I know you’re taking a risk, I know that I’ve hurt you and you feel betrayed. What was I supposed to do though, Tony? Stand back and let you kill my best friend? Do you know how it felt when I needed you but realized I couldn’t turn to you for help because you wouldn’t have listened? Because you were so caught up in your guilt, and with those Accords, that you couldn’t be reasoned with?”

“Oh so what you’re saying is that this is my fault?”

“Enough!” Natasha came between them with a look in her eyes that had even Loki shrinking back in his seat. “You’ve both made mistakes, we all have and you know what? We all lost. Just look at our team, our family, broken and scattered and it’s going to take time but we can’t continue tearing into each other at every turn!”

She blew out a heavy sigh and turned her attention to Thor. “Didn’t you once mention some sort of guardian or watcher who keeps an eye on all realms and its people?”

“Uh, yes, Heimdall.”

“Could he help keep an eye on Yelena?”

“He can, we’ll return to Asgard immediately.”

“Thank you.” With a forced a smile, Natasha returned her attention to Steve and Tony. “And you two, we need to work this out because if something were to happen right now, to us, to our world, we’d be useless. This can’t go on.”

* * *

New York City—did everything have to be so loud, so bright, and so outrageously busy? Yelena shivered, unable to stay warm, and drew her hood up. With her hands dug into her pockets, she blended with the crowd going from one street corner to the next though she had no sense of destination.

_‘Somewhere warm,’_ she considered when another shiver ran down her spine.

The money she’d stolen could buy her a plane ticket out of the city, the country even but without a valid passport she’d get nowhere. Perhaps that should be her first order of business—securing a new identity.

“Hey watch it lady!” a taxi driver fumed when she absent-mindedly crossed the street. He flipped her off and several bystanders threw her a glare before they carried on with their own business.

God, of all places, why New York? Sure enough, she always got by, she’d been forced to before, but the last time she’d been in a city this big and crowded had been London many years ago. She’d escaped the massive population then too and settled in a quiet village. Of course, her time spent in cryo didn’t help matters and in many ways, she was still adjusting.

_‘You should have stayed at the compound,’_ her subconscious scolded. _‘Even if that meant better the enemy you know. At least they had hot showers.’_

Too late for that—she had no idea how far, how long, or in which direction she’d ran after passing those massive iron gates.

Spotting a coffee shop, Yelena zigzagged her way through pedestrian traffic and ducked inside only to feel equally overwhelmed. The line at the counter was endless and the options—she’d never seen so many different blends of coffee and tea before, never mind the abundance of pastries and sandwiches.

“What will it be?” a young, quirky barista asked ten minutes later and Yelena stood baffled. “Miss?”

“Uh… coffee, hot?”

The girl chuckled. “Just a good old cup of coffee huh? Coming right up. Name?”

“Why do you need my name?” Yelena frowned with immediate suspicion.

“To write on your cup so we don’t get any orders mixed up.”

“Oh. Natasha,” she lied.

“Like the Black Widow, easy to remember.” The barista flashed a smile, scribbled on an empty cup, and moved on to the next customer.

Okay, so not only had she missed out on several years of the world evolving, but she was also dealing with somewhat of a culture shock. One that involved massive lines for a simple beverage, over fifty different types of coffee and tea, and names written on cups.

“First time in New York City?” asked a guy waiting for his order.

“Something like that,” Yelena mumbled while rubbing her hands together for warmth.

“It can be a little overwhelming, don’t feel bad, you’ll get the hang of it soon.”

“Thanks. Do you know if there are any internet cafes nearby?”

“I’m not sure anyone uses those anymore but there’s free WiFi here.”

“Oh.” What good was free WiFi without any device to use it on? “Uh, thank you.”

New list of priorities—get a mobile device, find a place with WiFi and then look for a way out of the city. Or maybe hang around for a while, find the more shady parts in New York, and secure a new identity first.

Someone called out the name ‘Natasha’ and Yelena looked around curiously until the friendly guy nudged her. “That was you right?” He handed her the steaming cup of coffee. “Here you go.”

“Yes, sorry.” She’d already forgotten and made a mental note to pick a better name, one she’d easily respond to. Perhaps a variation on her middle-name. “Thanks again.”

Yelena forced a smile and reached for her drink but the second her fingers closed around the paper cup, she screamed out in agony. It burned and within seconds, blisters formed in the palm of her hand. Scalding hot coffee splashed on the floor as she dropped the cup, over her sneakers, over friendly guy’s boots and the bottom of his jeans leaving every patron to stare in their direction.

“Jesus lady, what the fuck?” Nice guy looked a little less friendly now.

“I… I…” All Yelena could do was look at her hands.

Holding that cup had felt like pulling a hot plate from the oven without mitts. It scorched her skin and tore through every nerve in her body. Brought on the sort of chills normally caused by a fever. She had no idea what had happened, or what was still happening as thin, icy veins webbed across her palm soothing the blisters that had formed.

_‘What is this?’_ Yelena’s mind raced and she uttered an apology, “I’m sorry, clumsy me.”

The back of her hands turned a silverish, frosted blue and she ran for the door. Whatever was going on, this wasn’t the sort of attention she wanted for herself so she had to get out fast but the entrance wasn’t an option. The second she gripped the handle, the entire locking mechanism froze over and ice crystals spread out across the glass.

“Oh my gosh,” squealed the barista who’d taken her order and she got her smartphone out to record the incident, “she’s one of them! One of those enhanced people!”

“I’m… no…” Yelena stammered.

“Quick! Someone call the news!” a customer called out.

“Forget the news, call the cops!” yelled a third.

The nice guy from earlier seemed to have forgotten all about the spilled coffee and urged, “Everyone just calm down, can’t you see how frightened she is?”

“What are the cops gonna do against the likes of her? We need the Avengers!” Someone else ignored him completely.

The sudden attention, the cameras pushing in her face, only fueled Yelena’s panic. Lithe snowflakes started drizzling down inside the shop, coating the interior, while Yelena’s appearance changed further. Her nails and dark brown hair turned snow white, icy veins continued to weave their way across her entire body until they reached her scalp, and the blue of her eyes brightened to a glacier shade.

She looked like the Snow Queen straight out of an old Russian fairytale her mother used to read to her.

Several customers dove behind the counter in fear of what Yelena might do while others continued to film and take photographs. The door still wouldn’t budge so she punched the frozen glass until it shattered and having no other option, Yelena dove through the opening. Ran out into the streets trailing a path of frost behind her and never looked back to see the localized snow storm above the coffee shop vanish.


	6. Nowhere To Go

**— 6: Nowhere To Go —**

“You should consider coming back with me,” Thor suggested while he followed Bruce through the royal gardens on Asgard. “I think they need you, a lot has happened.”

“What could I do that would make a difference?” It stung Bruce to know how everything had fallen apart in his absence. “Tony doesn’t listen to anyone and Steve’s been caught between a rock and a hard place—I can’t fix that for him.”

He crouched down to pick a plant sample and sealed the container. “How uh… Is Nat okay?”

“She gave them that _look_, you know the one.” Thor’s imitation of the Black Widow was ridiculous. “She’s trying hard to keep everyone together.”

“Did she ask about me?”

“No, but she didn’t get upset when I mentioned you either, that’s something, right? She might hit you though. Jane hit me, twice, when I returned to earth after my disappearance.”

“I’d deserve no less. How did they react to Loki?”

“Oh, well, you know, they were thrilled to have another hero in their midst…”

Bruce boxed up all specimens he’d gathered and cast an incredulous look over his shoulder. “Another _hero_? That’s not what I’d call him.”

“He’s trying, I believe in him.” Thor turned his gaze toward the palace. “I have to.”

He loved his home, he loved the people. This was his family legacy and his father had meant to crown him king long ago, but the politics weren’t for him. Out there in the galaxy’s trenches, defending and protecting Asgard, with or without his hammer, that’s where he needed to be.

If only Loki could step up to the challenge and prove himself trustworthy—they could split the royal duties of a king.

“Why did you bring him back to earth, of all places?” Bruce asked, as if reading Thor’s mind, while they headed back to the gates.

“Loki has to make things right, and… I made friends there. Found love, a second family, I was accepted. Maybe he could have that too, I think he _needs_ it.”

“Hmm…” The answer gave Bruce pause—it’s what he’d found too and the Avengers were more than just earth’s mightiest heroes. “But does he want that too? He’s… Loki.”

“There are things about my brother you do not understand and things I have done to hurt him even if I never meant to. He deserves a chance and he may not know what it is he wants but I want to help him find it. I won’t let him fall. Not again.”

After a moment of contemplation, Bruce nodded. “When are you going back?”

“Soon, but first I have some business with the Council to take care of—we still haven’t relocated all refugees from Sakaar.”

“Miek and Korg?”

Thor’s laughter bellowed. “Those two won’t be going anywhere, couldn’t get rid of them if I tried and maybe that’s for the best. We could start a second team of Avengers right here on Asgard—guardians of the Asgardians.”

“That sounds weird,” Bruce pointed out though he couldn’t help but smile.

“Maybe, I’ll think of something. Do you plan on going home?”

“I uh… I don’t know, I haven’t figured that out yet. I’m not sure I’m ready and there is still a lot I could learn from your healers.”

“About what?”

“Myself and the other guy, perhaps find a cure or at least a way to create a balance between us.”

“What? No, you can’t do that, you’re both so awesome. You know, Hulk with his grrr and smash, and you with your uh…”

“Go on, I’m listening,” Bruce dared him and chuckled but he wouldn’t get an answer.

“My King.” Heimdall appeared out of nowhere. “There is a problem with the mortal you asked me to watch.”

* * *

Only twice before in her life had Yelena been afraid—the day Hydra killed her mother and the day the Winter Soldier visited her apartment. Right now was the third time.

She sat huddled behind containers, garbage bags, and empty boxes in the back of a dark alley with crystals forming in the corners of her eyes because tears wouldn't flow. A sheen of ice covered the dirty cobblestone beneath her feet and flurries danced around her small frame but she was no longer cold—a minor comfort compared to all her other problems.

“Please change back, please change back,” she whispered desperate pleas but it was no use.

A set of sirens blared nearby and Yelena scurried further back into the dark shadows. No doubt recordings of the coffee shop incident had reached law enforcement and news agencies, and everyone would be looking for her. If even one Hydra agent had eluded the Avengers, they would be on her trail too. A frozen trail ending with the pile of snow expanding all around her.

Damn it, she had to calm down and come up with a plan. To find a way out, to keep herself concealed from the world, to stop whatever it was that caused all of this in the first place. Was there a way to reverse her transformation, or was it permanent? What would the punishment be for causing a small snow storm inside a coffee shop?

_‘A week in jail, a month? Maybe deportation. Well, at least I’d get my wish of escaping this city and country then,’_ the idle musings almost made her chuckle but she was too on edge.

Again sirens rang out and hurried footsteps ran past the other end of the alley.

_‘Relax. This is New York City. It’s probably just cops and crooks chasing each other,’_ she tried telling herself and took a deep breath.

During her time with Hydra she’d learned to close herself off from anything her body experienced. A helpful tool to get through interogation and torture, and perhaps it could work again in this situation so she closed her eyes. It wasn’t easy centering herself but after several minutes, her attention pulled to a single focus—the beating of her heart. Erratic to start out with, like a violent storm raging across the seas, until it settled and left nothing but the soothing rhythm of waves brushing up against the shoreline.

_‘When you’re down and troubled, and you need some love and care, and nothing, nothing is going right. Close your eyes and think of me, and soon I will be there to brighten up even your darkest night...’_

A melody from her childhood, an American song her mother used to sing to teach her the English language, played in her mind. It provided a comfort and serenity that chased away anxiety. Replaced her fear with old familiar confidence and when Yelena opened her eyes again, she noticed a rosy-pink bloom under the silvery-blue of her skin. The white of her hair fading in favor of her usual, dark brown locks and while she remained confused, she sighed a breath of relief too.

“Get up, get a move on,” she insisted and pushed off against the melting snow.

Why she’d transformed in the first place, or how she’d managed to change back, she still didn’t know—though emotion seemed the most likely candidate—but now that she was back to her natural appearance there were other matters that took priority. Such as a new identity.

Rather than head back for the main street, she turned the corner into a different alleyway and followed the shadows to parts of New York others avoided. A lone rat quirked its tiny head and rose up as she approached, curious about the stranger trespassing on its territory, but Yelena walked on. A beggar held out his hand and while she wanted to ignore him at first, there was a possibility he knew of a place that offered exactly what she needed.

Fifty bucks poorer and half an hour later, Yelena found herself at the back entrance of a tattoo parlor in Hell’s Kitchen. A man three times her size in width and height let her in without asking questions, and she couldn’t decide whether that was a good or a bad thing. Probably a bad thing but she pressed on.

“I was about to close up,” another man called out the second he noticed her, “but I could make an exception for you…”

His lips split into a grin, flashing pearly white teeth and sparking a twinkle in his deep gray eyes. Dirty blonde locks were combed to one side, showing off about a dozen studs piercing his other ear, and Yelena estimated him to be about mid-thirties.

“Are you Greg?” she asked and tried her hardest to ignore the other man, Mr. tall and brawny who’d let her in, breathing down her neck. No doubt ready to pounce if she somehow upset either one of them.

No matter—she’d fought tougher men than both of them combined.

“Depends on what you need, babygirl. Why don’t you come over here and have a seat, huh?” Greg patted the reclining tattoo chair in front of him. “I won’t bite.”

Yelena waved his offer aside. “I’m not here to get inked, I need papers.”

“Sure, doll, but humor me. I’d like to get a good look at who I’m dealing with before I decide whether or not to help you out.”

Hoping to compromise, she took a step forward into the light and then another when tall and brawny nudged her shoulder. “Better?”

“Hmm, almost.”

Unfazed by her resistance, Greg removed his latex gloves and vacated his seat to meet her. His slender fingers caressed down her cheek and jaw before they disappeared into her hair and he smiled in the most unnerving way.

“I preferred the white locks…” His remark made it clear he knew exactly who she was, but Yelena kept a straight face.

“I didn’t,” she muttered and shrugged free of his touch. “So will you help me or not?”

“Maybe, but it’ll cost you.”

“I’ve got money.”

“Twenty-five hundred dollars, cash?”

Yelena blanched. “That much for a new ID?”

“You need more than just the ID. If I can recognize you from the news, so will everyone else. You need a makeover. I also assume you want this ID for traveling purposes which means we need to plant a new record for you in the system. That takes time, that costs money.”

“I…” She debated with herself—would another broken ATM be worth the risk?

“Of course,” Greg interrupted while twirling a lock of her dark hair around his finger, “I could let you work for it instead. Those frosty gifts of yours could be useful for business, and I wouldn’t mind if our arrangement became a little more _personal_.”

She slapped his hand away. “I’m not _that_ desperate.”

“Oh but I think you are or you wouldn’t have come to me. Besides, I’ve always had a thing for the freaks and misfits in this world.”

_‘I’ll bet you do.’_ Men like him were always after the same thing and went about the same way of getting it but, whereas Hydra’s men had only offered her the illusion of choice, Yelena held the true power in this situation and Greg wasn’t armed with a charged baton to disable her.

“No, I’ll find another way, sorry to have wasted your time.” Keeping things polite and giving him one last chance to avoid escalating matters, she attempted to turn away but the big guy still stood at her back.

“Not so fast, even consults cost money, and I’m sure we can work something out, hmm?”

Before Yelena could voice her disgust or extract herself from her poor position between both men, Greg’s lips were already upon hers and she reeled when his tongue lapped at her mouth. Just once, and then he nibbled her bottom lip before barking orders at his partner.

“Titus, get her in the chair so I can—”

Whatever his intentions were, he didn’t get to boast further because Yelena’s left fist slammed into his jaw, followed by a sickening cracking of bones before he fell. Greg spat several teeth paired with blood onto the floor where he lay, and the impact of Yelena’s fist quickly helped him understand his grave error in judgment.

Titus wasn’t so quick on the uptake. He grabbed both of Yelena’s arms in an attempt to subdue her but she wouldn’t budge. Instead, she smashed the back of her skull into his face and reached over her shoulder to fist the collar of his shirt. Sparing little effort, she flipped him over the small frame of her body so he landed right beside Greg who’d never seen anyone take Titus on and survive.

Thinking she’d gotten the message across, she turned to the door but as she reached for the handle, Greg’s gun clicked behind her. A shot fired, the first bullet hitting the wood just inches from her face and the second causing a nagging feeling in her shoulder where it grazed her skin.

“That was a mistake…” she growled, instinct and anger taking hold.

The third bullet whizzing in her direction she caught, even to her own surprise, and it turned to snow in the palm of her hand. Her new powers rose to the surface, her appearance changed a second time that day and the basement floor froze over. With every step she took toward Greg and Titus, a sharp stalagmite erupted from the ice pinning both men in place, and Yelena glanced around with a mixture of awe and confusion.

“Please, stop, don’t hurt us, I’ll get you your papers! Free of charge!” Greg pleaded and tossed his gun aside, arrogance replaced by dread. “Please!”

“You were going to hurt me. You _did_ hurt me,” Yelena observed and another stalagmite shot up.

This one pierced straight through Greg’s left upper leg and he screamed in agony, scarlet fluids painting his blue-washed jeans and the ice beneath him. Yelena held her step, shocked either by his wailing or her actions—whatever gift she possessed acted beyond her control. The ice grew thicker and changed form, encasing both criminals until only their horrified facial expressions remained and Yelena’s eyes held that same look.

She was no longer in awe and instead concerned by what she’d done—how she’d gone too far without wanting to. They’d die if she didn’t free them soon so she rushed forward but as her hand reached out wanting to shatter the encasing, a razorsharp, frozen spike shot from her palm straight through Greg’s forehead.

“No…” Yelena gasped as blood spilled and dead eyes stared at her in accusation. “No I, I didn’t…”

Maybe Greg deserved it but she had her own moral code in spite of her training—out in the world and on her own, she would not kill. It wasn’t her place to be the judge, jury, and executioner for every piece of scum that roamed the planet. 

“Monster!” Titus cried out his first and last words while he closed his eyes, fully expecting to be next, but when nothing happened and all he could hear was a faint blowing of the wind, he looked up.

The basement was empty. Greg’s body was gone, the ice evaporated, the stalagmites vanished and with them, so had Yelena. Only a lone note was left in her wake.

_‘Do not speak of this to anyone or I’ll come back for you.’_


	7. Loki To The Rescue

**— 7: Loki To The Rescue —**

“Let me go!” Yelena fumed, struggling against the set of arms that held her. “I have to go back, he needs medical attention!”

“He’s fine where he is,” Loki countered apathetically.

“I killed him!”

“Exactly, and I don’t think your earth doctors can revive the dead so I stand by my decision.”

“Who the fuck are you?!” She tried hitting him but he was faster each time—almost as if she did nothing but punch right through him. “Where are we?! What did you do?!”

“Shall we focus on one question at a time?”

“What do you mean by ‘earth doctors’?”

Loki groaned. “Precisely what I said.”

“Are you with the Avengers?”

“Is there an end to your questions?”

“Fuck off, leave, and take me back there!”

“In that order? Seems rather counterproductive to me.”

A scream of pure frustration ripped from her throat, much to Loki’s amusement while he released her from his hold. If looks could kill, and if a god could perish so easily, he’d be her second victim of the day. As it stood, judging by what Heimdall had witnessed, at best she’d turn him into an icicle but Loki suspected his own nature would prevent that. That was why Thor had decided to send him to fetch the troubled woman.

“Don’t be such a smart ass.” Yelena paced in a circle, ice crunching beneath her sneakers.

The trick was to calm down, she’d discerned that much, but in the presence of this… what or whoever he was, that seemed impossible. Tall and not entirely unattractive with vibrant green eyes and raven black hair that curled down to his shoulders. A bit greasy. That outfit of his though—a black leather ensemble with green and golden accents, and he wore a cape.

_‘Who the fuck wears a cape these days?’_ Not any Avenger she knew of but then again, years had passed.

“Tell me who you are, where I am, how you brought me here and who you work for,” she demanded with arms crossed over her chest. “And be careful not to piss me off any further, I have no idea what would happen.”

“It is _you_ who should be careful. Alas, given that you have no idea who I am, I’ll let your ignorance slide just this once.” He deliberately let a threatening tone resonate and delighted.

“Right, sure, beware the clown in his… what’s that American holiday? Halloween costume,” Yelena mocked.

“What is Halloween?” Loki frowned.

“What is… Nevermind, it’s not important, and you don’t get to ask questions before you answer mine.”

“Ooh, bossy.”

“Well?”

“I am Loki of Asgard and we are on a rooftop a few blocks from where you were earlier. I brought us here using my magic, at Thor’s request who I assist but certainly do _not_ work for.” It was such a thrill confronting mortals with the truth and watching their faces contort into sheer disbelief.

“That’s cute, but try again.”

Smirking, and failing to think his actions through, Loki used one of his favorite glamors and transformed into Captain America. “Fine, fine, you caught me! I am the first Avenger! A righteous, stalwart def—”

“You!” Yelena was on him in less than a second and punched him in the face. It didn’t quite have the same impact as on a human, but Loki did stumble and shifted back into his own form.

“Ow. I forgot you don’t like this guy,” he muttered and rubbed his jaw.

“How… what…”

What the hell was happening? If she hadn’t just seen it with her own eyes, she wouldn’t believe it, but the stranger had just twice changed his appearance in the blink of an eye. Magic? That wasn’t possible, was it? Though it had to be, that was the only way anything he’d said could make sense.

“I told you the truth the first time.”

“Loki, Asgard, Thor, they’re myths. I would know, I lived in Torshavn—Thor’s Harbor. It’s steeped in Norse mythology.”

Loki quirked a brow and scoffed, “_Of course_ he has a town named in his honor.”

“You’re really the god of mischief and lies?”

“I am.”

“Yet you expect me to believe you?”

“I do.”

“And you don’t see how that might be an issue for me?”

“Try.”

Throwing her hands up and seeing no other explanation, she conceded temporarily, “Fine, okay, let’s assume you’re telling the truth—were you sent to arrest me?”

“No, I’m here to help you.”

“Help me? How, and why you? I take it you saw what happened at the tattoo parlor, you’re not worried?”

“I’m a god, try me.”

“I can’t, I don’t know how to do it at will.”

That made no difference to Loki who conjured his staff and without warning swiped at her feet, landing Yelena on her ass.

“Hey!” she growled, annoyed more than anything else.

“Defend yourself, mortal.” Loki twirled his staff and magic burst from his free hand in the form of emerald-green chains slithering toward Yelena.

Prepared this time, she tucked into a roll and dove aside. One hand held up in defense against his assault and before she knew it, an ice barrier erected between the two of them but Loki shattered it with ease. Their duel began, and Yelena met each of his attacks with one of her own—her mind and body acting on nothing but instinct beyond her will—but she began taking notice of the pattern.

“Take control, bend the gift to your will,” Loki encouraged, deflecting everything she threw his way until one shard of ice penetrated his armor and flesh.

For a split second they stood unmoving, holding each other’s gaze, and then the change began. Loki’s, and not willingly. Cerulean blue skin and eyes red as blood diamonds revealed his deepest and most sacred truth, a secret, his frost giant DNA.

He dropped his staff at once with a bewildered look. “What did you do…”

“Me? You’re the one who keeps changing his appearance.” Confusion furrowed her brows.

“Not this time, not by choice,” Loki hissed and lunged at her, a firm fist closing around her throat. “Who are you really, what did you do?”

Nothing, save for the Cradle, had ever forced his Jotun side to the forefront quite this way but somehow this woman had and he didn’t appreciate it one bit. She had to be more than human, a witch, perhaps tied to his past.

“I didn’t do this! I have no idea what happened or what’s going on!” Yelena fought him but her own super strength was no match for his godly might and magic combined.

“We’ll see about that!”

“Please, let me go,” she choked out, struggling to draw air from her lungs.

“No.” Loki pressed a palm to her temple and she sunk into his arms the second she lost consciousness, lured to oblivion by his magic.

He needed answers, they both did, and they needed to get far from anyone who might see. “Heimdall!”

* * *

“Glad you came home.” Tony patted Bruce on the back while they toured the lab.

“Thor said it was urgent.”

“Yes. We have a young woman, twenty-eight years old, though age twenty-three biologically speaking. Carrier of the super soldier serum and… something else with a frosty twist. I’ve tried analyzing her cells but this isn’t my area of expertise.”

“Right… right,” Bruce mused and he studied the data collected on Yelena. “This is uh, Steve’s friend’s daughter? Thor filled me in after his visit.”

“Yep, that’s her. I’m keeping her sedated until we can figure out what’s going on with her. Not up for any extremely localized snowstorms.”

“Any chance this was caused by an outside source?”

“Nat and Rhodey left to retrace her steps but according to Loki this… whatever, is a part of her. He sensed it the second he came to her aid.”

“Ah…” Bruce nodded in thought. “So uh, she’s not here?”

“She’s down in the medical ward.”

“I mean Natasha.”

“Oh. Oooh, right. Yes, no, she’s not here.”

“Alright. I’m gonna get right to this… looks like a mutation of sorts but I’ll let you know what I find.”

“You do that, buddy, good to have you back and a little advice… ‘I’m sorry’ goes a long way.”

“What?” For a second Bruce frowned, already lost in his work, but then it clicked. “Oh. Yeah. Does that ever work with Pepper?”

Tony smirked. “I can be very persuasive.”

* * *

“I told you to help her, not get into a fight and nearly choke her to death!” Thor scolded while he, Loki, and Steve waited outside the medical ward.

“I did help her,” Loki, back to his old self, snarled. “I cleaned up the crime scene, got her out of there, and we sparred so she could learn to control her powers. Then she bewitched me.”

“No one knows what this power of hers is or where it comes from, yet you decided to provoke her into duel? You were reckless.”

“Of course! Blame me! You know, brother, I knew this newfound faith you claim to have in me wouldn’t last.”

“I _do_ have faith in you, Loki, and you did the right thing getting her out of there.” It was better to reinforce the good he’d done—methods could be worked on another time. “What did you do with the body?”

“It’s in the river, no one will know.”

“And his partner?”

“I left a note kindly urging him never to speak of this.”

“You threatened him?”

“Possibly. Fear can be a powerful tool, and I did not harm him otherwise.”

That was something, at least. “I’m glad you did not,” Thor admitted.

“What do you mean she bewitched you?” asked Steve, never taking his eyes off Yelena subdued in a hospital bed, and not caring one bit for the bickering between the two Asgardians.

“Nothing that concerns you, soldier,” Loki snipped and walked away.

Mortals and their problems, why had he ever let Thor talk him into helping out? Who cared if some freak-of-nature, insignificant human had the power to summon a blizzard? If she was human at all…

_‘She caused your Jotun side to manifest, she’s not what she seems.’_ Loki held his step and recalled their brief battle. Blew out an exasperated sigh when he realized answers still eluded him. No, he couldn’t leave just yet, not until he’d pieced the puzzle together for his own satisfaction.

He turned again and fell in at Steve’s side. Hands clasped behind his back and with a single focus on the monitors by Yelena’s bedside. Unaware of the quizzical looks Thor gave him.


	8. Let It Go

**— 8: Let It Go —**

“Hey big guy, wasn’t sure if I’d ever see you again.” Natasha leaned in the doorway to Tony’s lab, her hip popped to the side and her voice sending a pleasant shiver down Bruce’s spine.

He removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m… so sorry. I never meant to be gone for so long.”

“What happened?”

“I had to get away. From myself, from him, from causing so much pain and destruction everywhere. I guess he did too.”

He could feel her inquisitive, green eyes burn on the back of his skull and slowly turned around. “I lost out on so much time and this sounds like the worst excuse in the universe but, it was all him. He took over my life for nearly two years, I barely even remember leaving Sokovia.”

That was the truth, and Natasha knew. Bruce wasn’t the sort of man to lie and make up excuses—she loved that about him—but there was more to this that he wasn’t saying.

“Why did you decide to stay on Asgard?”

“I…” Bruce sank onto the stool by his desk looking rather hopeless. “I was scared, ashamed, and I felt guilty. I wasn’t sure how to come back after being gone for so long… after abandoning you when we’d made plans to—”

“All I did was miss you and worry. I was never angry.”

“He ignored your message and took the quinjet.”

“He was confused and afraid, I saw it. You both were.” In less than a second she crossed the small distance between them and cupped his face in her hands. “What happened doesn’t change how I feel about you, or him.”

Bruce lifted his chin and met her eyes, felt his heart ache at the tenderness written all over her face and turned his head slightly to kiss her palm. “I haven’t lost you?”

“Not a chance, but I will break every bone in your body _and_ his if you ever disappear like that again.” Natasha sank onto his lap and let her fingers thread his thick curls. Breathing him in to savor his return, and then she leaned down to find the set of lips she’d missed so dearly.

“I can live with that.” Bruce poured two years of longing into the kiss, stealing no more than a fleeting moment before they were interrupted by Tony and the rest of the team.

“No, by all means, continue. That’s what this lab is for,” Tony teased and received a deadly glare from Natasha. He turned his attention to Bruce. “Have you found anything yet?”

“I have.” Bruce eased Natasha from his lap and got up to collect his data. “It was uh… a freak accident really, by the looks of it.”

“A freak accident?” Steve frowned. “So Hydra didn’t do this to her?”

“They did, in a way. I found traces of a compound similar to the one Wanda and Pietro were injected with but older and imperfect. I suspect Yelena was one of their first test subjects in creating the correct formula.”

“So it didn’t work?”

“Not at first. They lacked a template to draw from in order to alter her cells the way Loki’s scepter did for the twins.”

Loki feigned an innocent smile and for just a second wished he’d held on tighter to his scepter, knowing now that it possessed far greater power than he’d initially thought.

“But if their experiment failed then how is it she has the power to build snow castles by just… what, thinking it?” Natasha tried to follow along with the science.

“Because they put their failed experiment on ice. Literally.” Bruce folded his arms over his chest, momentary excitement and pride clear on his face, and waited to see who’d catch on first.

Tony won. “Cryo did this to her?”

“Exactly. The second they initiated the cryo process, the dormant compound was triggered to absorb the vapors and began mutating her cells. Of course, once she was in the chamber they likely never checked on her again and had no idea that their efforts had been successful.”

“So what powers does she possess?”

“I can’t say for certain until I see her in action but my guess? The ability to create and manipulate frozen particles.”

“Is it reversible?”

Bruce scoffed at Tony’s question. “Would the other guy exist if I knew how to reverse cellular mutation on this level?”

“Point taken.”

“What fuels her powers?” asked Steve.

“I suspect the same thing that fuels mine, that fuels Wanda’s—emotion. I’m surprised they didn’t manifest while she was here but, well, being fresh out of cryo I’d say her body was still adjusting and evolving.”

“Is she dangerous?” Rhodes wanted to know. “She did kill a man.”

“Am I?” Bruce threw back at him. “Like us, she has the potential to be and she’s not the first to injure or kill a person because her powers became too overwhelming. She’s going to need guidance.”

“That won’t be easy. She made it clear that she doesn’t want to be here and if her powers are tied to her emotions, if she sees us and we tell her this…” Steve let out a deep sigh.

“The Avengers, popsicle edition,” Tony joked.

“I’ll give her something that’ll keep her calm while we tell her,” Bruce said.

“Alright, well… I say Bruce and I go wake Elsa to give her the bad news and the rest of you, go make yourselves useful somewhere else,” Tony decided and clapped his hands to dismiss one and all.

“Elsa? I thought her name was Yelena.” Thor’s genuine confusion elicited a few chuckles from Natasha.

Stifling a snort of his own, Rhodes clapped him on the shoulder and he couldn’t resist adding to the reference, “Let it go.”

* * *

How could one’s body feel weightless and heavy at the same time? Yelena wasn’t sure but that was the first thing she noticed when she came to, struggling to open her eyes. The second was just a hint of warmth radiating down her skin and the third, her inability to move. That should have stirred her panic but instead she relaxed.

“Ms. Nikolaev? My name is Dr. Banner, Bruce if you will,” Bruce introduced himself.

The name triggered something faintly familiar and Yelena muttered, “Banner… Hulk. Where am I?”

“You’re back at the Avengers compound.”

Her eyes opened wide and instinct wanted her to flee from bed immediately but she lacked the strength to even sit upright. “Loki?”

“He brought you here after…”

Bruce and Tony exchanged a meaningful glance before the latter explained everything. From Loki’s sudden arrival carrying an unconscious Yelena, to reminding her of what had happened at the tattoo parlor and her meeting with Loki. Only the fear in her eyes evidenced the horror she felt when Bruce took over from Tony and informed her of her condition—Hydra’s experiment, the cryo effects and what it did to her body. The powers she possessed.

Yelena broke her silence after several minutes, “What will you do with me?”

“We think it is best you remain here and learn to control your uh, gifts,” said Bruce. “With our help. I can monitor you and—”

“Can’t you just, take it out? Get rid of it? Hell, get rid of everything including this stupid super strength.”

Misery sunk to her gut. From birth she’d had her strength and over the years learned to adjust but it never felt like a gift. Only an invitation for challenge and trouble, and this new power was nothing but another burden to her desire for a regular and quiet life.

“Wish that I could, believe me.” Bruce flashed her a sympathetic smile.

She tried to tense her heavy limbs. “Did you drug me?”

“We did,” Tony confirmed. “Only to make sure you don’t turn the compound into a giant igloo.”

Yelena pursed her lips. “You’re not funny.”

“I’m a little funny.”

“No,” Bruce agreed in half a jest, “she’s right, you’re not.” He turned to Yelena. “I’ll lower the dosage, it was only to help you through any upset upon hearing my findings.”

“I understand.” Resigned to her fate, at least for the moment, she shut her eyes again. Perhaps her dreams could turn reality into a lie.

* * *

“Brother, what ails you?” Thor had never known Loki to pace this much nor to be so silent.

The two stood on the rooftops of the compound watching city life in the far distance. A lovely sight for anyone who’d never known better but for them it paled in comparison to their beloved Asgard.

“She saw my true form. Her powers touched me and I revealed myself without intent,” Loki admitted. “What if that happens again?”

“Are you worried others will find out?”

“I care little what they’d think of me. They are your friends, not mine.”

“So it’s her.”

“No.”

“Then why are you up here stomping around like a restless animal?”

Loki stopped and spared a glance at the moon—he wasn’t sure what it was that bothered him—and went for the easy answer, “I’m bored here on your earth. Behaving is so… tedious.”

Thor laughed. “You wish to go home?”

“No.”

“No? So you find earth dull but you won’t return to Asgard, what is it you _do_ want?”

The raven haired prince sighed dramatically. “Aren’t there any lowly earthlings for me to torture and punish in the name of justice?”

“That’s not how things are done here. Put your energy toward something else. Continue helping her.”

“Really? After you reprimanded me for being reckless? After what happened?”

“You could use your projections and illusions to give her a target, avoid getting hit directly, and practice restraint.”

“I’m no babysitter or mentor—she’s their problem.”

“Then why did you stay? I saw you earlier, walking off, but then you came back. Why?”

Hesitation took Loki and he turned away. Swallowing first and taking minutes before he allowed himself to speak again, “Curiosity. I thought perhaps she wasn’t… just a mortal.”

“Oh.” Thor nodded with sudden understanding. “You mean you thought she might be connected to the Jotuns? That she might be like you?”

“Perhaps, but now we know better.”

“We do. Still, you are most suited to teach her control and help discover her full potential.”

Thor pushed further, knowing his brother’s weaknesses, “Or are you worried you can’t do it? That she might prove too powerful for you to handle?”

“Never,” Loki scoffed at the insult.

“So accept the challenge. Stay and work with her.”

* * *

_“Captain?”_ T’Challa appeared on the screen of Steve’s phone. _“Are you alone?”_

Steve held up a finger, surveying the halls of the compound while he rushed to his room. “I am now. Is it Bucky?”

_“Yes. It is good news.”_

“Go on.”

_“My sister has disabled the triggers in your friend’s mind and restored his memory. We will be waking him today.”_

A sigh of relief escaped Steve’s lips and for the first time in what seemed like forever, he smiled, truly.

_“Do you wish to be here? We can wait for your arrival,”_ T’Challa offered.

“I…” He paused, torn between his best friend and the daughter who needed to be told the truth, especially if Bucky’s return was no longer a vague hypothetical. Which should he tackle first?

“I’m on my way.”


	9. Maybe Home

**— 9: Maybe Home —**

“Since you’ve decided to stay,” Tony began listing off protocols and security codes to the common areas but Yelena tuned him out.

Not intentionally but her mind struggled to focus while the last of Bruce’s sedatives left her system. _‘Decided to stay… as if I have anywhere else to go.’_

Her little incident at the coffee shop had gone viral, introducing her to the world. Hiding was no longer an option and running pointless—it was safer to remain at the Avengers compound. Being truthful, she was surprised they’d given her a choice at all after what she’d done, unintentionally or otherwise.

“The ground floor and first few levels are dedicated to our employees—administration, specialists, engineering etcetera—while the upper four levels are residential. You’ll have access to your room and all amenities but don’t wreck the place and keep it clean.”

“Understood.” Yelena just barely caught the last of his spiel. “What will I be expected to do?”

“Do?”

“Work. I can’t sit around all day or wear these sweats all the time and I own nothing. I need to earn a living somehow.”

“I’ll add you to the payroll,” Tony offered the first solution that came to mind.

Several Avengers—like Steve, Clint, and Natasha—had been on S.H.I.E.L.D’s payroll and after the organization fell, Tony started a fund to keep them all employed. Being a hero was nice but it didn’t pay for the clothes on anyone’s back or the warm meal on their plates, he understood that much.

“That still doesn’t tell me what you expect me to do and I don’t want handouts. It’s bad enough I’ve had to borrow these clothes and steal from an ATM. I’m a pretty decent cook.”

“It’s not a handout. I’m setting you up as a trainee, trainees get paid. You work on dealing with your frosty issues and try not to kill anyone, and I’ll get you a company credit card.”

“Train, to what end?”

“Gee, I don’t know. A job at the ice capades? Making instant slushies? Or, and this is a crazy idea but, perhaps at some point you could learn to fight on the side of good, with us. Deal?”

She chewed on the inside of her bottom lip, pondering his offer. Living with the Avengers was one thing but she’d not considered working for or with them in any fashion. On the other hand, the few times she’d been out in the world on her own, she’d always worked to make a living and maintain her independence. Robbing that ATM really had been a last resort and a stain on her pride—she needed the job.

“Deal.” She decided moments later.

They walked the hallways until Tony stopped at the room she’d previously occupied. “Banner’s expecting you at 2pm for a check-up, don’t be late.”

“I won’t be.” Yelena lingered in the doorway and just before he could leave, she added, “Hey Tony? I know you didn’t really want me here so… thank you, for this and for letting me stay.”

She never saw his hint of a smile before he glanced over his shoulder. “Don’t mention it, kid, but try not to _borrow_ my stuff or break into my files this time. You need something, speak up. You have questions, ask.”

“Noted.”

There were no questions to ask, or perhaps there were too many best saved for another day. All through the night she’d slept in the medical ward and still felt exhausted. No doubt a combination of the sedatives, of not sleeping a wink since she’d emerged from cryo, of going on the run and her new powers wreaking havoc on her body.

While Tony left to take care of whatever business kept him busy, Yelena wandered into her room and was surprised to find the interior different from last time. Warmer, inviting. Hardwood floors, a white rug with matching draperies, cream-colored walls and massive windows allowing for plenty of natural light. All very Nordic, she realized.

“I took a guess to your size and style and filled up your wardrobe too.” Natasha poked her head inside.

“You did this?”

“Most of it.”

“Why?”

“You won’t like the answer, I think you’re a little pissed off with him at the moment.”

_‘Steve.’_ Yelena quirked a brow. “With both of you, actually, but tell me anyway.”

Letting herself in to take a seat on the upholstered bench at the foot end of the bed, Natasha explained, “Steve said you almost seemed happy talking about your time living in Torshavn. We thought you might appreciate a touch of home, make your stay a little more pleasant.”

“Right. So am I looking at his guilty conscience or a bribe?”

“Tony didn’t tell you everything.”

Yelena scoffed, “He told me more than either of you did, and at least he was honest.”

“No, he wasn’t, not entirely.” Natasha patted the spot next to her but Yelena declined. “When I told you the Winter Soldier was gone, it was the truth, but gone doesn’t mean dead.”

“That makes no sense.”

“Doesn’t it? Do you remember telling us how Hydra attempted to recondition you? They did the same with Barnes after his presumed death in 1945, only with him they succeeded and the Winter Soldier was born.”

Yelena hung back against the windowsill and pursed her lips. “Go on.”

“The Winter Soldier, as you know, became Hydra’s most deadly weapon and spent decades under their control,” Natasha shared what she could without revealing too much, careful not to mention memory wipes or anything else that would connect the dots for Yelena. It was a slippery slope to navigate.

“A few years ago they sent him on a mission to kill Nick Fury, Steve, and myself. That’s when Steve discovered Barnes was still alive but the Winter Soldier didn’t recognize his old friend. He fled the scene, only to appear again while we attempted to stop Hydra. He and Steve fought and nearly killed each other until Steve fell from a crashing helicarrier into the river. The Winter Soldier dove after him and saved his life, then fled a second time.”

That couldn’t be true, and Yelena shook her head. “The Winter Soldier would never rescue anyone.”

“He wouldn’t, but Barnes would and did. Whatever happened between him and Steve on that helicarrier brought Barnes to the foreground, fighting his conditioning. It took some time before we found him again, after he was framed for blowing up the UN building in Vienna.”

“That wasn’t him?”

“No.” With a heavy sigh, Natasha recalled the events—Sokovia, the Accords, Zemo and his vengeance—everything leading up to the present day. “Steve brought Barnes to an undisclosed location where he’ll remain until we’re certain his conditioning has been undone.”

“Two personalities occupying the same body…” It was a lot to process and Yelena turned her back, casting her gaze over the world beyond her bedroom. “That could have been me,” she mused in thought.

“Yes, it could have.”

“But it’s not, and I don’t know what to do with this. I understand the concept but it doesn’t change what he’s done, how I see him, how he terrifies me. I can’t just forgive and forget.”

“Nobody expects you to.”

“Don’t you? You all seem to treat Tony as if he’s wrong for his anger and resentment but if I were him, I’d have killed Barnes.”

“He tried, that’s why there is so much tension. Nobody blames Tony for his upset but he went too far, and not just in Siberia. We were all wrong to turn on each other the way we did rather than work together to expose the truth,” Natasha spoke of one of her greatest regrets.

When Yelena said nothing else, Natasha got up and joined her. “I didn’t tell you this to change your mind about Barnes—you deserve to know the truth, that’s all.”

“Why now? Why not when I asked?”

“You’d just woken from cryo and when you told us what he’d done to you, when we saw how that affected you still, we thought it better to wait and let you adjust first.”

“I see… Well, thank you, I suppose, for telling me everything.”

“It’s the least I could do.” Natasha feigned a smile, both thanking and scolding her former masters for teaching her how to sell a lie.

Though well versed in the art of deception, she took no pleasure in playing the sincere friend knowing that she still kept the biggest secret of all—the one that would turn Yelena’s world upside down. The last piece of information Steve wanted to tell her in person once he returned from Wakanda.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Natasha excused herself because she understood Yelena would need time alone with her thoughts, “but I’ll be around if you need anything.”

The second she was gone, Yelena crumbled and sunk to the floor. Exhaled a staggered breath and slammed a fist into the wall at her back. She didn’t want an explanation for the Winter Soldier’s actions, much less a semi-relatable one—it was easier to hate him. Simpler not to care. She didn’t want to think of him as just a man who’d been put through hell by the same monsters who’d stolen most of her childhood and life.

A single drop of blood trickled from the broken flesh covering her knuckle and she sat enthralled with her wrist angled upward. Watching the scarlet bead as it traveled across the back of her hand in a straight line, down to her lower arm, shrinking and fading until it had no volume left to paint her skin.

There’d been a time where all she did was watch the blood dry after receiving yet another beating. It became a game to predict where it would run and when it would stop. What final shape it would take while her injuries healed. A desperate method of entertaining herself inside the cold and barren cell where Hydra kept her for years, but she was in a cell no longer.

Shaking free of her musings, she got up and pulled several clothing items from her closet before disappearing into the bathroom. A quick shower at a mild temperature to wash everything away and drown out the nagging feeling in her gut brought on by Natasha’s visit. The sense there was still a piece of the puzzle missing that she couldn’t, or wouldn’t, see.

After drying off and dressing, she left to find Bruce in his office and allowed for a series of far too many tests for her liking—he was nothing if not thorough.

“At least we know I’m not actually made of ice.” Yelena hopped down the examination table and vanished behind a dressing screen while Bruce updated her chart.

He laughed. “No. You’re quite human with only a few differences. Your enhancements, for one, and it would seem your body temperature has stabilized at ninety-two degrees. Lower than average and technically hypothermic but the new normal for you. Are you still cold?”

“I am but I’m getting used to it, I barely notice it now.”

“How about hot liquids, do they antagonize your nerves?”

“My tea this morning was fine after the first sips. Showering… I can no longer crank up the heat like I used to, it’s an adjustment.”

“Good… good,” Bruce mused and scribbled down a few notes. “I’m going to suggest your body was still adapting, completing the process which has settled now.”

“And I’m healthy otherwise?”

“Perfectly, and your shoulder has healed from that gunshot wound, it shouldn’t leave any scarring. I uh… at Tony’s request I did perform a full scan of your mind, I’m sure you understand why, but I didn’t find anything out of the ordinary save for some old scar tissue at the back of your skull.”

“Ah, yes, a souvenir courtesy of the Winter Soldier who decided to test the resilience of my floorboards by bashing my head into them repeatedly. Charming, right?” Sarcasm laced her words.

“Hmm.” Bruce winced at her comment but felt it wasn’t his place to get involved. He circled his desk to meet her and sat back against the side. “Will you be okay staying here?”

“I have to be. Out there isn’t an option, not unless I get my powers under control and even then…” Yelena flashed a wry smile. “I’ve spent all my life either caged up, on the run, or hiding. To be honest, I don’t know what my place is in this world or what I’d do with myself out there. Whether I like it or not, I guess this is where I need to be for now.”

“Good. Well, in that case, I’d like to schedule a training session for you with Loki as soon as possible so I can monitor your physical transformation.”

“Right, Loki…” She hadn’t seen the god of mischief and lies since their first meeting. “Tell me, what’s his deal and is he really… y’know, a god?”

* * *

Wakanda was far more than a metropolis of technological wonder and Steve marveled at its natural beauty beyond the city limits. A rare sight nowadays and he understood why Bucky had chosen this spot of seclusion for his recuperation. It was a breath of fresh air for both of them as they sat by the edge of a lake.

“Yours was the first face to surface in my memories,” Bucky admitted while he played with a blade of grass between his fingers. “Many have followed since…”

He blew out a sigh and let his eyes focus on the sun’s reflection cast out across the water. “The faces of my parents, my sisters. Every moment of joy and…”

Steve placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Do you have _his_ memories too?”

“I do, every single one. I remember her now, your friend Natasha, the fear in her eyes. I remember my own pain and theirs. His hands around their throats as much as my own. The look on Howard’s face…”

It was a burden almost too heavy to carry and there was little Steve could say. They’d had this conversation before—Bucky and the Winter Soldier were not the same—but that did little to assuage Bucky’s guilt.

“Sitting here reminds me of that one hot summer when we were kids playing down by the river, dangling our feet in the water to cool off,” Steve reminisced.

“All the times I had to jump in after you because Desmond and Tom would push you in and you couldn’t swim very well.”

“And then you did it again decades later in Washington.”

“Well, that one was all on me.”

“It was on both of us and had you fallen, I would have gone after you. Of course we can’t forget about our dive in Berlin either.”

The corners of Bucky’s mouth curled into a meager smile. “Always the hero, huh? What have you been up to?”

“The usual. Sam, Nat, Wanda and I busted a human trafficking ring, stopped a bank robbery in Germany. Got word of a single, rogue Hydra agent operating from Strasbourg, put an end to that. Small stuff.”

It was easy to talk about ordinary missions but there was one piece of information burning at the front of Steve’s mind. A thing he ached to talk about but he had no idea how to bring it up.

Bucky’s body language grew a little stiff at the mention of Hydra. “Just the one agent?”

“Yes. We have our ears to the ground but there’s been no news other than a few failed attempts to rebuild the organization.”

“And what about those Sokovia accords? If you’re working does that mean you signed them?”

Steve gave him a look that spoke volumes, and Bucky chuckled. “I’ll take that as a no.”

“I don’t believe in them and I refuse to sign just so Tony can have a bandaid for the guilt he carries.”

“Have you seen him since Siberia?”

“Once or twice, we try to keep it civil,” Steve deliberately gave a vague answer that he hoped would discourage Bucky from asking further, then jumped to a different subject. “So what else are you remembering?”

“Everything. They were just flashes first, nightmares, fragments but together they span entire decades.”

“Was it always all bad in your time with Hydra? I’m guessing they didn’t leave much room for a social life.” Steve felt silly for asking but he needed to know whether Yelena told the truth.

“No, they didn’t,” Bucky snorted at the mere idea though the question brought one image to mind, clear as day. “But…”

“Hm?”

“There was a woman, back in the eighties I believe. Her eyes would be the first I’d see when they woke me and the last before they’d put me back in the chamber. Sofya. She tended to my injuries and cared for me.”

“Oh?” Steve feigned ignorance. “Did anything ever happen? I thought you’d been stripped of emotion?”

“They tried but there were times where my emotions would return along with memories of my past life. I clung to her in those moments, needing that human connection. We became intimate until one day she was just… gone.”

Recalling those days, Bucky lay back against the field of grass and let his mind take him to the past. Oblivious to the looks Steve was giving him.


	10. Too Late For Baby Announcements

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to throw in a quick thank you to those who've left kudos and comments. Those who've subscribed or bookmarked the story. Your support means a lot and your comments are genuinely appreciated. <3

**— 10: Too Late For Baby Announcements —**

The secret he kept weighed heavy on Steve and forced his feet into a restless gait on his way to meet Bucky. Today they’d go for a morning run together, enjoy a hearty breakfast, and head out to the fields to aid the Border Tribe with simple farming work. It all sounded good and well but Steve struggled to focus on anything other than the one thing he constantly failed to bring up.

He glanced at his phone, having sought Natasha’s advice, but she’d told him exactly what he already knew.

_\--There is no easy way or perfect timing. Doubt B would enjoy one of those sickeningly cute baby announcements. Just tell him, soon.--_

Baby announcements, Steve scoffed. It was twenty-eight years too late for such things and that realization bothered him just as much. Furthermore, he had no idea whether his friend had ever wanted kids and Yelena wasn’t so much a kid as a grown woman who, due to a series of unfortunate events, was close to their own biological age.

The predicament troubled him a great deal. Bucky had been through so much and beneath a cool exterior suffered terribly from all the things he’d done. Could he take another blow?

“I was just on my way to meet you.” Bucky pulled Steve from the growing turmoil in his mind. “You ready to test your speed against me?”

“I’m ready for you to admit I’m still faster.” Steve forced a cheerful smile.

“Yeah, we’ll see about that.”

Invigorated by his own good mood, Bucky chose not to wait for his best friend to start a countdown and took a sprint down the field without warning. “Come on old man!” he yelled over his shoulder.

“Who are you calling old? You were born a year before me!” argued Steve, unable to suppress a genuine chuckle while he gave chase.

Just two men running laps along the outskirts of a lake enclosed by the ever stretching plains of Wakanda. For a moment, the world felt exactly right to Steve and Bucky seemed to share those sentiments. Zig-zagging at random intervals to stop Steve from catching up to him or even pulling ahead, a mischievous smirk on his face as if they were again two simple boys playing in the streets of Brooklyn. Of course they rarely ran in those days, Steve’s asthma never let him, but this morning both felt that same old carefree spirit once more.

That was until Steve’s phone buzzed with a reminder about the present.

_\--PS; told Y truth about B. Not thrilled but staying for now.--_

“What is it?” asked Bucky, reading along over Steve’s shoulder.

His warm breath gave him away and Steve quickly tucked his phone back into his pocket, looking rather guilty and frustrated though he couldn’t blame his best friend for being nosey—they’d never kept secrets from one another.

“Just a few things back at the compound.”

He acted aloof but Bucky wasn’t buying it, not after seeing Steve’s expression drop. “You can talk about your Avengers stuff, it’s not going to upset me hearing about whatever’s going on. Is it Tony?”

“No, it’s…”

“About me? Am I B?”

“Clever deduction.” Steve tried to smile but he failed miserably. “Look, there are some things I’ve been meaning to talk to you about, things we discovered while you were out here undergoing treatment.”

“Alright, so, spit it out.” Bucky put a hand on Steve’s shoulder and showed no sign of concern. Just his close friend trying to be supportive as he’d been so often in the past, making it only harder for Steve to cut to the chase.

Finding a spot of shade under a nearby tree, Steve sat down. “Tony found another super soldier in cryo, at the Siberia facility, stashed away on a sub-level of the building.”

“They created more?”

“Not exactly. This one is uh, well, a little different. Tony brought the cryochamber back to the compound and ran a few tests, trying to figure out what was so special about this ‘Soldat X’. That’s why Nat and I returned there, he called us.”

The way Steve spoke left Bucky a little uneasy, as if his friend was building up to some sort of ominous climax but he said nothing and waited.

“Biological science isn’t Tony’s strong suit but he did figure out that this soldier was born with the serum coursing through her veins. The child of another super soldier.”

Now Bucky interrupted, feeling appalled when he drew his own conclusions, “They attempted to breed new soldiers?”

“We considered it but, no. I mean, it could be but based on what…” Steve hated how bad he was at having these sorts of conversations.

Discussing strategy was one thing. Debating the odd political case was never a problem either. Opening up about his own life and feelings with Nat and Sam, to an extent, wasn’t too difficult but this?

“Then what is it?” Bucky urged.

“Tony ran the soldier’s DNA through our databases, to see if there was a match and your name came up in the system. She’s yours.” There, he did it—ripped off the proverbial band aid.

“She’s…” Bucky paled and sat down, unable to fathom what Steve was saying but then he laughed and thumped his best friend on the shoulder. “Oh come on, when would I have had the time to…”

It dawned on him, their conversation of the previous day, the resurfaced memories he’d shared, and his smile faltered instantly. “Sofya?”

Suddenly he looked crestfallen and Steve was reluctant to nod. “Yes, Sofya. She became pregnant with your daughter and the girl inherited your strength and speed. And your looks.”

“You’ve seen her?! What, how…”

Not knowing which of the many questions to ask first, Bucky just stared at Steve utterly dumbfounded. Half waiting for some sort of punchline to what had to be the worst joke in history. He couldn’t imagine it possible but his silence gave Steve the opportunity to explain.

“I’ve met her, yes, shortly after Tony woke her. Her name is Yelena.”

“Yel… Why did they put her in cryo and where’s Sofya?”

The fact that Steve couldn’t look him in the eye as he struggled to find the right words told Bucky enough and something in his chest ached. “What happened to her?” he asked.

“They escaped the facility when Yelena was three years old, Sofya wanted to protect her from Hydra’s experiments. They lived in Saratov for several years until Hydra found them and Sofya gave her life helping her daughter escape.”

Bucky sank back against the trunk and blew out a sigh. “I never knew. I didn’t even know she was pregnant. She was just gone the next time they woke me and I assumed she’d been transferred to another facility.”

“I’m sorry man, I really am.”

“I don’t know how to feel about this.” The one person who’d shown him a shred of human decency and affection throughout his captivity by Hydra was gone. “What happened to the girl?”

“Hydra caught her a few days later and brought her to Germany for training and education. She escaped them again during a mission in London when she was sixteen, made her way to Scotland and later Denmark, eluding them for three years.”

“But I take it they found her again?”

Knowing exactly what had happened, Steve sucked in a sharp breath. How on earth was he supposed to tell Bucky what the Winter Soldier had done to his daughter? Knowing Bucky would blame himself as he did with Howard and countless others but it couldn’t remain a secret, not if the two were to ever meet.

“They did. She’d lived in Torshavn for a year, working as a cook and bartender. Her boss tagged her in a photo on social media and I guess facial recognition software alerted Hydra.”

There he went again, peeling at the bandaids instead of coming straight out with the harsh facts. Natasha would have done better, she had a knack for steeling herself and delivering the heavy blows immediately but this had to be him—the best friend Bucky knew.

Building up to the news, he wondered if Bucky would make the connection on his own, though he doubted that could soften the impact. Steve opened his mouth to continue but Bucky beat him to it, something familiar gnawing at his conscience.

“Torshavn? When was this?”

“In 2008. That’s when they—”

“No, they didn’t.” Bright blue but terrified eyes and a face with features much like his own surfaced in Bucky’s mind.

A teenage girl whose strength close to matched his while he threw her through a wall from one room into the next, never letting up. She’d reached under a bed to pull out a gun, firing at him, and he’d broken her wrist wrestling the weapon away from her. In turn she’d fisted his hair and slammed his face into a dresser, then another wall but in the end he’d near killed her. Almost ruining what should have been a simple retrieval mission.

“I did,” Bucky corrected even as misery rose in his gut and he put his head down, shaking it repeatedly. “I remember it clear as day because I was pissed off they’d neglected to tell me about her strength and skills, leading me to almost botch the mission.”

Guilt wreaked sudden havoc on his body and Bucky couldn’t decide whether to remain seated or get up, he felt sick. “Steve, don’t tell me I—”

“You didn’t. You have to remember that wasn’t you. The soldier wasn’t you, Buck.”

“No!” Bucky lashed out and slammed his right fist into the tree behind them with such a force it broke off at the root and toppled down. He didn’t care. “I’m so sick of hiding behind that excuse!”

“It’s not an excuse, it’s the truth!” Worriedly, Steve jumped up and grabbed Bucky by the shoulders. “The things you did were not by choice, you had no control! I know that doesn’t make it easier, it doesn’t change what happened but you are not to blame!”

“Tell that to Tony, to his parents! Tell that to my… does she know who I am? Who it was that beat her within an inch of her life and dragged her back to that hellhole?”

He couldn’t say ‘daughter’. He’d barely wrapped his head around the idea of having one and now felt he didn’t even deserve to call her that.

“No. She knows a man named James is her father though she believes him to be dead, that’s what Sofya assumed when she never saw you again. Yelena does remember the Winter Soldier, she knows you’re him, she knows about your former condition but she hasn’t made the connection yet between you and the James that Sofya told her about.”

Bucky could hardly suppress his urge to tear the entire forest behind them down, fueled by his far too many and conflicting emotions but he closed his eyes and focused inward on his own breathing. A trick he’d picked up from the locals.

“Tell me everything,” he said, a slight quaking in his voice. “Where is she now, how is she? What happened to her after our fight? What did they do to her?”

* * *

It felt surreal thinking of the Avengers compound as her home. Home was a set of locks on her door, cold and empty walls, bars and cages rather than windows, and a stained, unsupportive mattress. It was the illusion of safety she’d created for herself in Denmark. Yelena snorted—Steve had been so wrong—she’d never again think of her time in Torshavn as a happy one, or at least she’d deny it to herself.

Aimless wandering and idle musings led her down passages and hallways until the faint strumming of an electric guitar reached her ears. She followed the sound all the way to Tony’s laboratory, the song’s accompanying bass growing louder with each step, and rapped her knuckles three times against the half open door.

“Need a hand?” she yelled loud enough for Tony to hear.

Without looking up from his work, he ordered Friday to lower the volume of his favorite AC/DC track and beckoned Yelena over. “I’ve got plenty of hands. The problem is deciding which one I want to use.”

A variety of hardware and robotic limbs belonging to his Iron Man suit cluttered the work space. “Time for an upgrade?” asked Yelena while she picked up one of the five glove pieces laid out.

“Always. Can’t risk falling behind on the latest technology and there’s this guy—have you heard of King T’Challa of Wakanda?—I read a classified report on his new suit…” Tony released an exasperated groan. “I won’t be outdone by a boy king dressed as a cat.”

“Riiight…” Yelena didn’t have a clue nor could she muster enough care to have him explain. “Why red and gold?” she changed the subject to something simpler, or so she thought.

“Oh, I’m a huge Redskins fan,” he spoke in jest and only added to her confusion.

“Redskins?”

“Football.”

“Ah, right, the uh… sports thing with the ball and the people and the stuff…”

“You need to catch up on your knowledge of American culture and recent years. I’m sure Steve will let you borrow his notes when he comes back.”

“Pass.” Yelena screwed her nose up and pulled a face at the mere mention of Steve, something Tony picked up on all too easily.

“What’s on your mind, kid?” He snatched the glove she toyed with from her hands and set it back down before offering his full attention.

“Natasha told me about Bucky and what Hydra did to his mind, why Steve defended him.”

“I see, and you’re annoyed that I didn’t—”

Shaking her head and letting out a derisive chuckle, she was quick to correct his assumption, “No, I’m not. I’m actually glad you didn’t tell me because, honestly… I think I was—and this sounds ridiculous—_happier_ not knowing.”

Tony quirked a brow, unsure of what to make of that statement. “Happier?”

“He’s a victim too, isn’t he? I… I don’t want to think of him in that way,” she tried explaining the tug of war in her mind and sighed. “Not as a person, as a human being twisted into a monster by Hydra. I have so much pain, so much anger and hatred about what he’s done and the organization he represents… All they’ve cost me.”

Anguish surfaced and Yelena ran a trembling hand through her hair, feeling torn. “I need him to be the monster, a target. I don’t know another way of dealing with everything if I don’t have him to hate.”

Unintentionally, she held a metaphorical mirror up to Tony that rendered him speechless. With his silence as her only feedback, she continued.

“I’m not made of stone or without humanity. I’ve done awful things too but…” Her scornful laughter rang hollow. “You know how I like to say that I had no choice? He didn’t either and yet I’m sitting here wanting to believe he had one because that’s what I need him to be—responsible for all of it. Because I’m not in a place where I can forgive, forget, or escape that night that still haunts and terrifies me and yet…”

She blew out a staggered breath and looked up to the ceiling, trying to hold back a surge of emotion. “It’s that human side of me that feels sorry for him. Awful for what he’s been through. A little voice saying it’s not his fault, urging me to understand and sympathize but then I get angry all over again because I can’t and don’t want to.”

When Tony still said nothing, merely staring at her with pain in his eyes and a stunned expression, she roughly brushed away the tears that had welled up in her eyes. “I must sound so screwed up but… yeah, I think I was happier not knowing.”

Uncomfortable silence stretched on for minutes and Yelena returned her attention to the new and improved equipment he’d been working on. She didn’t expect him to understand or offer any comfort—empathy wasn’t a quality she associated with Tony Stark—and she felt awkward enough having opened up about her feelings in the first place. She hadn’t planned to, it just spilled out.

“Is this vibranium?” she asked and held up an unpainted arm-piece, hoping to change the course of conversation once more. He seemed so uncomfortable and conflicted.

“No, no it’s uh…” The distraction worked to get him talking again but his voice barely rose above a whisper.

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose, shook his head, and mumbled incoherent frustrations. The turmoil Yelena experienced in her mind could be read in his body language and in this moment, they were uniquely matched in their struggles.

He turned away, walked a few paces, then came back with a determined look on his face. “I want a cheeseburger. Do you like cheeseburgers? Let’s go, my treat.”

“Yeah, sure.” If that was what he needed to get past this moment, she’d go.

It was true that she didn’t understand much about American culture but she’d watched enough movies to know junk food brought people comfort. Maybe she needed it too, and a ridiculously large milkshake to wash everything down.


	11. Reliving Memories

**— 11: Reliving Memories. —**

_Slender fingers and gentle, steady hands worked to suture his split bottom lip but all Bucky noticed were the green flecks in her enchanting blue eyes._

_‘Sofya…’ he groaned while he came to._

_‘Shh, hold still, James, I’m almost done.’ A smile broke through her studious expression._

_The entire room smelled of antiseptics, the slight tang of blood, and he could taste the copper in the back of his mouth. A lightbulb overhead, the only light available in the dank and far too small medical office, flickered once and Sofya uttered a hint of frustration._

_‘I don’t know how they can expect me to work in these conditions.’_

_Bucky said nothing but reached out with his free, human hand and carded his fingers through her auburn hair. Teasing her scalp with some light pressure and relishing in the quiet sigh he elicited. In turn, she finished her sutures and nestled her cheek against his palm._

_‘Each time you’re deployed I fear you won’t come back to me,’ she admitted in a whisper._

_The second Sofya put her instruments away and removed her gloves, Bucky pulled her onto his lap in the examination chair and nuzzled her neck, inhaling the sweet scent of her hair._

_‘I always come back,’ he murmured against her skin._

_‘But you can’t promise me that, neither of us know where they’ll send you next.’_

_‘Shh.’ It was his turn to insist on silence while he found her lips, tentatively nipped at the plump flesh, traced her pout with the tip of his tongue before deepening their kiss._

_A hum of pleasure left her body when his hands, flesh and metal, snaked beneath her overcoat and under the green blouse she wore. Fingers drawing delightful circles along the small of her back until she halted his intentions._

_‘Not yet, I still need a blood sample before I forget…’_

_Bucky tried to hide his disappointment. ‘What for?’_

_‘The one thing they’ve been chasing for years—recreating the serum.’_

_Seeing his thick brows furrow, Sofya leaned closer and shared a secret of her own, ‘Don’t worry, they won’t get their hands on the correct formula. I’ve been manipulating the test results for months.’_

_‘You can’t!’ Immediately he worried and clutched her face between his hands. ‘If they find out—’_

_‘They won’t. I was hired because this is my field of expertise, not theirs. Now I didn’t know what I was getting into when I accepted that research grant, and I can’t quit and leave because they’ll hunt me down, but I won’t aid their cause either.’_

_‘You’re playing with fire.’ He nipped at her velvety lips again and held her so tight it took effort to make sure he didn’t end up crushing her with his prosthetic arm._

_‘We all are.’ Sofya nestled against his bare chest and sighed with longing. ‘But one day I’ll figure out a way to free your mind, to defeat the soldier, and then we’ll get out.’_

_‘Where would we go?’_

_‘Hmm… Saratov, then find transport to Moscow or St. Petersburg. Cross the border and fly to… Where did you say were you born?’_

_Nowhere he could recall, the soldier’s existence in his mind forming a barrier between memories of his old life and his current state. He tried to focus and access that forgotten knowledge but a sudden, excruciating pain shot through his skull. His brain throbbed and resisted until everything faded before his very eyes, leaving only his own screams to ring in his ears._

  
“Bucky! Bucky! Wake up!” At the sound of pained cries, Steve rushed from his cot inside Bucky’s sparse and humble home and knelt at his best friend’s bedside. “Buck!”

Bathed in sweat and thrashing to fight off his bedsheets, Bucky mumbled in hysterics, “Brooklyn, Brooklyn, that’s… I have to remember, Brooklyn, Saratov to Brooklyn… Cross the border and fly to…”

“Bucky come back to me,” Steve pleaded while he clutched Bucky’s shoulders to calm him but he had little success.

Without even opening his eyes and aided by his fugue state, Bucky lunged at Steve and wrestled him to the ground, balled fists offering blows the latter only barely managed to avoid.

“Bucky! Snap out of it!” Dodging another hit, Steve trapped his bewildered and disorientated friend between his thighs and rolled over to seize control. It took all his strength to pin the man’s arms down and fight his excessive struggling, and minutes passed before Bucky became subdued.

Blinking the sleep from his eyes, Bucky groaned, “S-Steve… what…”

“Another nightmare. I thought those had stopped?”

“They had.”

“You mentioned Saratov—is this because of Yelena?”

A careless shrug rolled down Bucky’s shoulders and he sighed, “Sort of. I dreamed about Sofya, a conversation we once had.”

He tried to push up from the ground and glared at his best friend. “Please get off, I need air.”

“Right, sorry.” Steve got up and wiped off his pajama bottoms before lending Bucky a hand. “So I guess everything I told you brought old memories to the foreground huh?”

“Yeah. There were a few times we discussed escaping, just daydreaming in the brief moments we had together but it seems that’s exactly what she did after… _Fuck_.” He buried his face in his hands. “How the hell do I have a daughter, Steve?”

Not waiting for an answer, Bucky picked up the folder Steve had given him with all the information gathered on Yelena. “I read through this a dozen times last night and it doesn’t feel real. It says she’s my child, and everything adds up, but I don’t feel a thing.”

“That’s not surprising though, is it? You’ve never met her, you don’t actually know her, you didn’t get to raise her and, hell, you never even knew she existed until now.”

“I know but… isn’t this the moment where I’m supposed to feel some sort of intense, sudden connection? Be overwhelmed by emotion because of this bond parents are meant to have with their children?”

Steve quirked a brow. “You’ve been watching too many movies.”

“Didn’t have much else to do while laying low for two years.” Only half a smile inched up the corner of his mouth and it was a miserable one. “I don’t even know if I want to come back with you, assuming I could. What am I supposed to say or do?”

“You don’t have to decide anything right now.”

“What is she like?”

“Uh…” Steve had begun grinding out fresh coffee beans and took a moment to reflect on his few interactions with Yelena but by the time he added hot water, all he could say was, “Complicated.”

“Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” Bucky scoffed.

“You were never complicated when we were growing up. You just went through a lot in the past decades, that’s bound to change you,” Steve argued but when he caught the pointed stare Bucky gave him, he conceded, “Okay, yeah, I can see that.”

“Remind me again, how much does she know?”

“Most of it, just not that you’re her father. I figured it might soften the blow if she adjusts to the news about your conditioning first. Help her see you and the Winter Soldier are not the same person.”

“You think that’ll make a difference?”

Steve handed Bucky a cup of coffee and sat down. “I hope so.”

“You know…” Bucky blew across the rim of his mug and glanced at his best friend. “I get why this should matter to me but, why is this so important to you?”

“I don’t know, Buck. Maybe I’d just like a win for once, something good to come out of everything we’ve been through.”

That wasn’t the worst thing to wish for and Bucky contemplated his own thoughts on the matter. Back in the forties, he’d been a ‘one day’ kind of man—one day he would find the right woman, one day he would settle down, one day he would have kids. He’d enjoyed his life of drinking and dating, in no particular order, right up to the moment he received his orders to ship out. During the war he had traded his ‘one day’ mantra for just getting to the next day and the only future on his mind had been survival and victory.

Now, more than seventy years later, he was a father without a clue. In almost every meaning of the word, Bucky Barnes had died falling down that ravine and the Winter Soldier had emerged. The soldier who’d wanted for nothing but to follow the orders he was given and during the rare few moments he’d stolen to exist, kids had just about been the last thing on Bucky’s mind.

* * *

Lurking in the shadows, Loki couldn’t help but inwardly laugh at Yelena’s futile attempts to summon her powers. For nearly an hour she’d stood in an empty garage beneath the compound, squinting and gesturing wildly to no avail. She had closed her eyes and balled her fists hoping to make anything happen at all but couldn’t even conjure the smallest of flurries.

“Oh come on! Just fucking freeze — shit — frost — something already!”

Loki heard her yell, watched her stomp her feet in utter frustration and spit out a slew of Russian expletives that would make any other person blush to their roots. Not him, and he knew Russian—the upside of living for thousands of years and exhausting all knowledge within your reach.

He also knew the cause of her struggle. “Stop being so afraid of what you can do.”

“What?” She spun around in surprise.

“You’re blocking your own abilities. You’re scared and you don’t trust yourself.”

“I’m not scared of any—”

“You see him, don’t you? That vile creature you killed by accident. His eyes, drained of life, blaming you.”

“Shut up.” With her arms protectively wrapped around herself, Yelena turned away.

“It’s curious—a Hydra assassin disarmed by guilt? You’ve killed before, this isn’t new.”

“I never liked it, I took no joy in it.”

Loki appeared behind her faster than she could blink, gripping and massaging her shoulders. He breathed just below her ear, “Then you’ve been doing it wrong.”

“Fuck you,” Yelena hissed but she couldn’t shrug him off.

“When you kill someone, you have to mean it in order to live with it. It takes purpose and conviction.” Loki’s hands slid down her arms to clasp her elbows as he maneuvered her body into a defensive stance. “Self preservation, vengeance, power, or if you’re the hero type, to protect others.”

Yelena felt an odd sensation pulse in her veins and she turned her head to meet his eyes. “Why have you?”

“All of the above and more.” A mischievous smile crossed Loki’s face. “Focus. Recall the moment where you stared death in the face. It’s just you and him. You have no weapons, only your gift, but he’s coming for you and he won’t stop.”

“I…” While Loki hadn’t specified which ‘he’, Yelena’s mind dove straight to one of her more terrifying, crippling memories and her hands trembled. “I can’t.”

“Forget your fears. You’re in control. You know what you can do and this is your territory, not his. You make the rules.”

The gentle tingles coursing beneath her skin intensified, drawing on her energy to begin her body’s metamorphosis. From the young brunette who’d seen too much in life to the snow queen who feared nothing and when it was done, Yelena exhaled a frosty breath.

“There you are.” Loki awed at her form and whispered, “Draw on the power that’s begging every fiber of your being for release. Feel it heighten, burn and ache.”

“I do but… it’s stronger than I am.” Again she trembled, doubt threatening to take root.

“No, it’s a part of you but it cannot exist without or beyond you. You’re stronger than it and you can force it to obey.”

“We should wait until Dr. Banner gets here.”

“You’ve been practicing this entire time, you may as well continue.”

Withholding further encouragement and neglecting to give warning, Loki placed his index and middle-fingers to Yelena’s temple, searching her mind for her greatest and most disarming fear until he brought her worst memory to life. The Winter Soldier. Silent, deadly, and coming straight for her.

“Loki no, not this, I’m not ready, make it go away,” Yelena panicked but her pleas went unheard.

Gone was everything she’d discovered over the past days, and gone were the past nine years of her life. She was back in her old apartment where she had to fight to survive. Dodge the fist that swung toward her face before she kicked the Winter Soldier’s legs out from under him.

Yelena tried to run but the soldier grabbed her ankle, flung her from one room into the next through plasterboard walls and she reached under the bed for her gun. Remembering what came next, she adjusted her aim and fired rapidly but even in this re-enactment of sorts she missed. The soldier lunged forward but, prepared for his assault, Yelena dove across the bed and flipped it over, slamming the metal frame into his body.

_‘Relax. Breathe. Whatever this is, it’s in the past, you’ve already lived through this,’_ she tried reminding herself even as the soldier began closing in a second time.

A steel grip around her throat lifted her off the floor and she struggled for air. Swung her legs up to push off against his chest with her feet but when that didn’t work, she kicked him in the face. For just a moment he let up, long enough for Yelena to use all her might shoving him off, heaving a painful and stuttering breath. Whatever courage she’d tried to muster abandoned her before it could settle.

“I can’t, I can’t. Loki, _please_,” she fell to her knees and begged, “I’m not ready, I can’t…”

No one came to her aid, though, so there was no choice but to mirror her past actions. Again the soldier charged at her—he’d never stop—and Yelena grabbed a fistful of his dark locks, down to the root, before bashing his face into her bedroom dresser. Steadied on her heels and used all her strength to sway around, dragging him with her, and smashed the other side of his head into the wall.

She recalled the awful god’s words, _‘You make the rules,’_ and tried in vain to conjure anything that might assist her. Nothing happened and in her split second of distraction, trying to access her gift, the soldier threw her to the ground. Her ribs cracked, she gasped for air, and coughed up a fresh wad of blood while he kicked her from the bedroom back toward the living room.

“Hrngh, fuck, Loki…” she rasped and for all of it being an illusion, the pain felt more than real. “I… can’t…”

What came next was the terrifying moment she couldn’t stop reliving even in her waking hours. The soldier stood over her, feet at both sides of her broken body. Eyeing his prey and crouching down above her waist as he delivered another metal-fisted uppercut to her jaw. He gripped the sides of her head and dug his fingers into her scalp, and she froze.

Out of fear but there was something else that caught her attention now that he was so close—her own reflection in those blue, soulless, eyes. His eyes but they were hers too. His face drained of humanity and emotion as she’d seen herself in the mirror before. An aching familiarity not part of any memory she held. A truth begging to be acknowledged but it fled before she could fully grasp its meaning.

Then the bashing began. One, two, three, four times to start with while her vision blurred and her feeble attempts to swat him away like a bug were laughable. Five, six, seven times and her surroundings faded into darkness. The eight blow to her skull resounded in a distance and she was gone.

There was no telling how much time had passed when Yelena came to again, lying on the concrete floor of the garage beneath the Avengers compound. The illusions evaporated and she was back in the present day. A killer headache tormented her brain and she tasted the bile in the back of her throat.

“That didn’t go as I’d hoped,” Loki stated matter of factly and extended a helping hand but Yelena just glowered at him.

Strained her body to push herself up and though she was free of any physical pain and injury, in her mind she still felt everything. Every bruise and every broken bone but she gritted her teeth to ignore it all while she faced Loki. With all the strength she could muster thrown into a mean left hook, she floored him and marched off without another word.


	12. Tony Does Some Thinking

**— 12: Tony Does Some Thinking —**

They say time heals all wounds but Tony Stark would call that a lie. Some wounds never healed and time only faded agonizing pain to a dull aching in moments of remembrance. He was a grown man with a life of his own but the loss of his parents plagued him more frequently than he’d ever let on. He’d dwell on the difficult relationship with his father and miss the love of his mother.

He missed her smile, the one that he hadn’t been able to shake from his mind ever since his conversation with Yelena. That girl had no idea how much her confession had screwed with his own feelings but she’d been right—it was easier to hate and be angry. He had every right to but like her, he was conflicted. Torn between knowing better and the way his heart hurt.

Flashbacks to his physical altercation with Steve and Bucky played before his eyes and he cringed. Sure, there’d been a time where he had both resented and envied Captain America for the friendship with his father but Steve had proven himself a reliable, trustworthy ally. A friend. Steve always had Tony’s back, in every fight and despite their differences, until Bucky returned.

_‘Things wouldn’t have gotten so out of hand if you hadn’t insisted on those Accords to assuage your own guilt. If you hadn’t been so blinded by self interest,’_ a voice deep within—his conscience or the angel on his shoulder—taunted.

Tony took an angry swipe at the stack of papers on his desk, pens and paper flying in all directions, and he sighed. A part of him knew well the level of responsibility he held for all that had happened but he couldn’t quite accept that fact. Pride was such a powerful emotion. As a child he’d faked it to exude confidence and earn his father’s appreciation. To shield against the inevitable and constant disappointment his father expressed. It had grown into his armor as time went by and became a natural part of him. He couldn’t shake it.

Giving in to the tired frustration in his body, he sunk into his office chair. There was so much to take care of and the opened documents on his tablet regarding the Accords earned themselves a scathing glare. Tapping his fingers across the touch-screen, he browsed to the associated files. House arrest for Clint Barton and Scott Lang. Steve, Sam, Natasha and Wanda all listed as wanted fugitives. A capture or kill order on the Winter Soldier.

The mess he’d created in his office paled in comparison to the poor state his team was in. He had to make a decision—to stand his ground and defend the Accords or seek a compromise that could be the first step toward making amends—but could he admit to his own error in judgment after advocating the Accords for so long?

He pulled up Yelena’s profile and read through all the information he’d compiled. If he did as the Accords demanded then he would report her to secretary Ross but Tony half suspected they’d call for her arrest. It was for that same reason he’d kept mute on Steve and Natasha’s return. Why he hadn’t mentioned the fact Bruce had finally shown up again—Ross would love to get his hands on the Hulk at last.

_‘Lying to the government because I know what they’d do to the others… well, if that doesn’t make the right decision obvious. Oh but weary lies the crown… no, heavy lies the head, or…’_

His brain throbbed with the conflict in his mind and muddled any coherent thought. A mind that, while wrestling through a list of pros and cons, also attempted to find a solution that would satisfy all affected parties. The tangled web was too much to handle alone and with his tablet in hand, he stormed from his office.

“We need to talk,” his announcement startled Bruce and Natasha who’d been nestled up on the sofa together.

The Black Widow bit back a groan and barely turned her head, too occupied exploring the depths of Bruce’s eyes. “About?”

“The Accords. I want thoughts, opinions. How do we feel about them today? Has anyone changed their mind? Big guy, are you in? Any suggestions for amendments?”

“Oh boy. Are you sure you want to have this conversation?” asked Natasha and she finally glanced in his direction.

Determination was written all over Tony’s face. He couldn’t yet deal with his feelings toward Steve and Bucky or the way they’d fallen out but this? This was a problem he might be able to fix. “I do.”

“Yeah uh, I don’t think I’ll be signing…” Bruce started and though he’d meant to elaborate on the reason for his decision, Tony understood. He’d only asked as a courtesy.

“I figured, and I think it’s best we keep any information concerning Frosty to ourselves for now,” he said. “Speaking of which, where is she? Wasn’t there a training session scheduled?”

Bruce’s expression dropped. “I completely forgot. Sorry. I’ll go find—”

“No need,” Yelena’s voice came from the shadows before she sauntered into the lounge. Resting back against the wall with a fake smile on her face to hide just how frazzled she felt after her session with Loki. “I’m here and veto on the name Frosty.”

“I’m really sorry,” Bruce tried to offer his apologies but she waved him off.

“It’s fine, another time.”

“How about Snowflake?” Tony suggested—he never could resist a quip or two.

“Veto, again. I’ve been on the internet, snowflakes are bad.”

The exchange caused Natasha to snort as she urged Bruce to scoot down and make room on the sofa for Yelena. “Let’s put a pin in the nicknames and get back to the conversation at hand.”

“Right,” Bruce concurred. “The Accords.”

“Yep.” Tony rounded the small coffee table to face his comrades. “Give me your thoughts.”

“I’m sorry, Tony, I think the intentions were good but they’re not an effective solution. I’m all for damage control, I carry the weight of my actions with me every day and they were the reason the big guy fled but…” Bruce’s brows furrowed with deep thought. “Hundreds and thousands of people could die while we wait for the UN’s approval to intervene. I can’t accept that risk either.”

Natasha nodded her agreement. “Take Loki’s invasion of New York—did we cause a lot of damage? Yes, and people were injured, lives were lost but imagine how much worse it could have been had we not stepped in. Had it been up to the government, they would have nuked the city.”

“I remember that.” Yelena clacked her tongue disapprovingly. “Talk about extreme measures.”

“And I remember saving the day,” Tony added though he knew what Natasha was getting at. “But I wouldn’t be able to do that again with the Accords in place, not without booking a one way trip to the Raft.”

Natasha looked up at him to see if he was about to add a punchline of sorts. “You’ve changed your tune since we last discussed this… what gives?”

“Maybe the fact that two thirds of the people living here are wanted fugitives, or would be if Ross knew about their presence, and if disaster struck right this instant we’d be useless.”

“I’m relieved to hear you say so.”

“Yes, well, the trouble is that the Accords were put in place for a reason. One-hundred and seventy-seven reasons in Sokovia alone.”

Those numbers still weighed heavily on Tony’s mind and he desperately needed to explore every aspect before he could decide on his next move. There was no question the Accords had a crippling effect on him and his team but he could no longer accept destruction and mass casualties either—two key factors that kept him conflicted.

“Could have been zero if we hadn’t built Ultron,” Bruce spoke with quiet hesitation.

“That’s not the point,” Tony argued that painful reminder but Natasha wasn’t having it.

“No, the point is that New York could have been wiped from the map. The point is that project Insight would have killed millions worldwide. The point is that we’re dealing with a group of politicians who care more about permission slips than all the lives saved because we were able to go where we were needed, when we were needed.”

Taken aback by her sharp change in attitude, Tony asked, “I thought you agreed with the Accords?”

“I used to but I’ve had a lot of time to think since then and got a glimpse of how they play out—I don’t like it. Forget the arguments I’ve already made, the Accords do nothing to prevent unregistered enhanced from doing as they please. They just make it punishable by law for me to step in if something were to happen right now.”

Natasha caught Yelena’s eye and drove her point further, “She’s here and safe but Lena could have done far more damage the other day, taken a lot more lives and you would have been stuck waiting for permission before you could step in. I can’t believe I’m saying this but… it’s lucky Loki was around.”

A split-second smile crossed Bruce’s face. “I’d like to see Ross try and put Loki or Thor behind bars for ignoring the Accords.”

“He can’t, which brings me back to their effectiveness,” Natasha maintained her stance.

Tony carefully considered every objection, all fair points, but he had to know, “What’s the alternative? How do we make sure we can do our jobs without adding to the list of casualties?”

“I don’t think we can. There is always going to be casualties and collateral damage, we can’t be everywhere at once, but I think we made a good start when we tried to evacuate Sokovia.”

“Can’t you sit down with the government or the people from the UN to create a contingency plan?” Yelena chimed in after hearing everyone out. “Get their support for a specialized unit that can handle evacuations and emergency services while you guys are out… I dunno, dealing with whatever threat?”

“That could be a viable option for a compromise.” Tony added her suggestion to the list.

This was what he needed—alternatives. Arguments he could use if, though most likely _when_, he decided to raise the issue with secretary Ross. Granted, he hadn’t discussed the matter yet with Rhodes but he knew his friend would approve and if not, Tony could likely talk him into it.

“Does anyone else have anything to add?” he asked when he finished typing on his tablet.

“I don’t think so,” said Natasha, “and I believe you already know where Steve stands.”

Tony closed his eyes for a second and sighed. “Yes, I do.”

Only too well and while he wouldn’t openly admit it—not here, not today, not now—a part of him hoped this would bring Captain America back into the fold permanently. He even thought that perhaps, one day, their friendship could be salvaged though much of that depended on Steve as well.

* * *

The rich aroma of spices permeated the small hut Steve and Bucky shared, with the former doing his most to prepare an evening meal. Wasted effort because what should have been a fairly simple dish of rice, meat, and vegetables instead looked, and smelled, like something that had already been digested once.

“So, let me get this straight…,” Bucky started as he and Steve peered into the wok. “You’ve been out of the ice for six years but somehow, with all this time you’ve had, you still haven’t learned to cook?”

A grin played on Bucky’s face and teasing aside, he was glad to see certain things never changed. Like the sheepish look Steve was giving him right before he held the ladle up to Bucky’s lips. “Will you at least try it?”

“And risk certain death?” Bucky laughed but to appease his best friend, he took a bite anyway.

It tasted as awful as it looked and he swallowed quick before his gag reflexes could protest the texture. Steve’s reaction wasn’t much better when he sampled his creation, and he took the wok from the stove to empty it into the trash.

“Guess we’d best head into the city for some takeout,” Steve chuckled.

“Or stop by the market for fresh ingredients and I’ll teach you how to make an omelet.”

“No, I think you said it best that one time I nearly burned down my kitchen—cooking and I just don’t go together.”

“Well it’s nice to see there are some flaws not even the serum could correct.” A light twinkled in Bucky’s eyes and Steve, hardly offended, couldn’t help but reflect that smile.

“It’s nice to hear you laughing again,” he offered genuine sentiment in return.

“Haven’t had a whole lot of reason to but… guess there’s an upside to your culinary fiascos after all.” Bucky pulled two beers from his minifridge. Thoughts mulling in his crowded mind while he handed Steve his drink and asked, “When are you going back home?”

“Oh, I’m not sure. Doesn’t seem there’s an urgent reason for me to, except…” Steve took a swig from the bottle and washed down the name on his tongue. “They’re doing fine over there and I’m in no hurry.”

“You can talk about her, you know? She hasn’t left my mind for a second.” Bucky had caught the name regardless—Yelena.

“There’s nothing to report. Nat texted to say she’s settling in fine, has agreed to train with Bruce and Loki, and apparently, Tony took her out for burgers so at least they’re somewhat getting along.”

“Better than you and him are, huh?”

Steve blew out a deep sigh and sat on his cot also serving as a couch of sorts. “I’m not sure if Tony and I will ever be okay again.”

“You have to try and forgive him,” said Bucky to Steve’s surprise. “I know you were only trying to protect me but he had every right to attack me. I killed his parents, Steve. I don’t blame him and I don’t think you should either.”

“Buck, he wasn’t going to stop. He would have killed you.”

“I’m aware and I’m grateful you came between us but you can’t hold this against him forever.”

“It’s not just this though,” Steve argued and took another sip. “It’s—”

“Those Accords, I know, but are they really worth destroying a friendship for?”

“Tony seems to think so.”

Bucky spun the single chair he owned around to face Steve and sat down, bottle swerving in his hand. He smiled. “Then do what you do best—be the bigger person. Trust that faith that you always seem to have in people and see if you can work things out.”

“When did you become so wise?” Steve quirked a brow.

“Must be all those months of meditation and the crisp air here in Wakanda.” Bucky couldn’t help but laugh and put his beer to his lips. Drinking most of it in one go while another thought crossed his mind. “I think I’d like to come with you, when you go back.”

“Are you sure?”

“No but… I can’t hide forever. I could turn my back on everything you’ve told me and go back to living in a small apartment somewhere no one can find me but that wouldn’t change a thing, would it?”

“No, it wouldn’t,” Steve admitted. “But if that’s what you need…”

“I don’t know what I need but I don’t think I’ll find it here and I’m tired of running. Besides, you’re my best friend and we’ve missed out on too much already, haven’t we?”

“We have, yeah.”

“Hey and, what’s the dating scene like these days?”

Now it was Steve’s turn to laugh and he shook his head. “Seriously, Buck. With everything you’ve got going on, that is your first priority?”

“Well, maybe not first but…” A smirk crept up the corners of his mouth. Lazily sinking back in his seat, he had no shame confessing, “It’s been a while, y’know?”

“Yeah… I uh… I mean…”

Hearing Steve’s uneasy stammer and loss for words, Bucky stared in surprise. “Are you telling me you still haven’t… ever? Not even with uh… Sharon, was it?”

Steve shrugged. “Peggy was the one for me and we missed our chance. Yeah, Sharon was nice but I don’t know, I feel a bit odd knowing she’s related to Peggy. It doesn’t seem right.”

“Then we’ll just have to find you someone else. Come on, get your shoes on and we’ll head into the city.”

“You want to find me a date right now?!”

Finishing off his beer and getting to his feet, Bucky snorted. “No, I figured we’d get something to eat for tonight and maybe meet with T’Challa. Start making plans for us to go home. It’s time.”


	13. A Method To Cruelty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spotted some new kudos and bookmarks, and just wanted to thank folks for the continued support. It means a lot. <3

**— 13: A Method To Cruelty —**

Snow that wouldn’t stick drizzled down outside Yelena’s bedroom window but for once, she wasn’t to blame. Only mother nature and a cold January in New York. The darkened sky announced twilight’s arrival an hour earlier than on any other day but the beauty these events held were lost on her.

Sitting on a white, cushioned stool in front of her vanity, she idly ran a brush through her hair. Captivated by her reflection in the mirror and the eyes that stared back at her. His eyes, not her own. She couldn’t let go of what she’d experienced in the garage, what she’d seen, how it made her feel.

Various threads of scattered thoughts and incomplete facts waged a war in her subconscious. A familiar name and a friendly face masking the monster. Similarities that all but screamed the obvious yet couldn’t possibly be. One was dead and the other had lived. One had known love and the other brought only destruction, but…

_‘He was a man whose mind was as shattered as his body…’_ Yelena recalled her mother’s words and her own.

A single tear ran down her cheek but she couldn’t explain why. There was nothing to see or understand, just her brain playing a foul game, antagonizing her paranoid tendencies. Or perhaps Hydra had damaged her mental capabilities after all and she was slowly losing herself.

The second tear rolled past the bridge of her nose and tickled when it caught on her nostril. _‘Stop being an idiot. You’re going crazy, so what? That’s still preferable to the other option, the worst one.’_

She tossed her hairbrush back onto the vanity and turned away. Using her knuckles, she swiped the tears from her cheeks and blinked once, then again when she noticed a tall figure in the open doorway.

“Loki?”

The slight jerk in his body language told her she’d startled him, but he quickly regained his composure. “You weren’t at dinner.”

“Not hungry. Do gods even need to eat?”

His brows furrowed. “Of course we do.”

“Ambrosia?”

“No.”

“Oh.” Lost for anything else to say and remembering their last encounter all too vividly, Yelena got up with the intention of showing him out. “If you don’t mind—”

“You’re mad at me.”

“Clever deduction, now please leave.”

“No.” Loki invited himself in and shut the door before she could utter further protest. “We need to continue your training.”

“Like hell we do!” she spat—the audacity of him. “What exactly about our last session makes you think I’d ever want to work with you again?”

“You failed the challenge I presented.”

“I wasn’t ready!”

His eyes bore into her blues as he stepped closer, the slight curl of a smirk on his lips. “Life won’t wait for you to get ready and neither will your enemies.”

Oh, how she’d love to protest that little nugget of wisdom but his words echoed the excuse often used by her former Hydra teachers as they put her through her paces. Broke her spirit time and time again so she’d rise stronger than before. Loki’s cruel method wasn’t all that different but she couldn’t take it from him, or perhaps she couldn’t take it because she’d thought that part of her life was finally over.

Instead of answering him immediately, she backed away to the comfort of her bed and sat down on the edge. Chewing on the inside of her bottom lip, contemplating a subject change to discourage his intentions.

“What happened when my powers struck you? You seemed angered.”

That should do the trick and the sudden disappearance of Loki’s smirk confirmed as much. “I altered my appearance.”

“No you didn’t, you thought I’d done it to you. You were just as surprised.”

His eyes narrowed to slits, a hint of agitation evident in his features even if he kept it from his tone of voice. “It’s none of your business.”

“It’s not? So you get to dig around in my mind, bring out my worst memories, but I can’t ask you a simple question?”

“The question you ask isn’t simple.”

Yelena crossed one leg over the other, resting an elbow on her knee and her chin in the palm of her hand. Ready, waiting, and eager to listen while she quirked a brow in challenge. “Regale me.”

Quiet minutes passed while he appeared to be considering her request. Ample time for Yelena to observe him properly and compare the Loki she knew from myths to the flesh being standing in her room. There were no horns sprouting from his forehead nor did he hold the appearance of a jester and she wondered whether he could truly transform himself into a horse. She had to bite her tongue not to snort at that particular thought.

Experience had shown her he did possess magical abilities but beyond that, he looked like just a man. Granted, one with a serious leather festish—today he’d exchanged his black and green leather ensemble for black and blue one though the cape was missing—but still just a man. Though, truthfully, she wasn’t certain whether this was his true form or merely one he’d adopted for his presence on earth.

“What you saw was my truest form,” he answered the question she’d posed as well as the one currently on her mind. “It’s a part of me that only rarely manifests itself.”

“How come? What caused it?”

“You did, I believe.”

Seemingly resigned to the fact she wouldn’t let this go, Loki sat down beside Yelena. He removed his gloves and offered his upturned palm. “Give me your hand.”

“Why?” she asked, somewhat reluctant but when a small groan escaped his lips, she gave in. “Fine.”

“You’ve very difficult.”

Loki’s playful admonishing earned him a sharp retort, “I guess we’ve got that in common.”

His fingers closed around the back of her hand in a firm grip and with a gentle caress, he circled his thumb against her supple flesh. Pleasant and soothing, and it wasn’t until that moment that Yelena realized his body temperature matched her own.

“Another thing we’ve got in common,” he answered before she could point it out. “Close your eyes and focus on your gift. Call on your powers.”

Again the question of why lingered on her tongue but she swallowed it and followed his instructions. In part because she didn’t want to annoy him further but also because he’d made her too curious to stop now.

The sensations she’d begun growing accustomed to stirred somewhere deep inside, awakened by her invitation, and the transformation was almost instantaneous. It didn’t frighten her this time either but rather felt serene, as if this ultimate form was a part of her as much as anything else.

“Good. Now, open your eyes and gently push your powers toward me,” Loki encouraged.

Slight concern crinkled a line on her forehead but Loki sounded confident so she gave it a try. Not that she understood the how of it and without further guidance, Yelena was left trying whatever came to mind. She opened her eyes and concentrated on his presence.

The way his hand felt as it held hers, touch resonating on her skin. His breath, odorless and cool, washing over her face. The rich forest green of his eyes. Sad and vulnerable eyes, different from previous times she’d seen him and only now did she realize that despite his confidence, his body language screamed with uncertainty.

It was all she needed to reach out. Not physically but with her essence seeking to engulf him and offer some semblance of comfort. Wishing to soothe whatever it was that had him ill at ease and then it started—his transformation. Human form much the same but his skin changed its tone the way hers did. Scarlet painted his eyes red and newly formed ridges altered the appearance of his face.

“For reasons I have yet to understand, your magic when connecting with my own triggers this reaction,” Loki spoke in a soft whisper.

“Oh. What uhm…” She didn’t let go of his hand and it took every effort not to bring her fingers up to caress the lines on his face. Captivated by his true form, Yelena forgot all about the anger she felt toward him. “How, I mean, is this what Asgardians normally look like?”

“No. I’m not Asgardian.”

“Then what are you?”

Hesitation rang clear in Loki’s voice. “I’m Jotun,” he began to share what little he understood about his own origin and what Odin had told him when he’d picked up the Casket of Ancient Winters.

“Until that day, I had always looked like every other Asgardian. It’s not an illusion and, as I said, my Jotun side only manifests under rare circumstances.”

“Like my magic…” Yelena bit her lip and sorted through her thoughts with care. “Is that why you reacted the way you did?”

“It took me by surprise, yes.” Giving her no further opportunity for more questions, Loki was quick to add, “Let’s resume your training.”

“I’d rather hear more about—”

“Another time. When you’ve earned it.”

Pulling her hand back, Yelena let out an exasperated sigh. “I can’t go there again, to the place you took me. I don’t want to see him.”

“You gain nothing by avoiding your fears.”

“It’s not even that! It’s…” How could she possibly explain the insanity plaguing her mind? “Can’t we pick a different moment? Like the tattoo parlor incident.”

“No.” Loki’s fingers closed around her wrists and he held her forearms. “That memory isn’t potent enough.”

“Potent?”

“If you can learn to control and use your powers while reliving your most terrifying, debilitating life experience then you will have mastered your gift. You’ll be ready to face anything.”

“Is that why you chose that memory?”

He nodded and scooted further up the bed, encouraging Yelena to do the same. They sat facing one another in a lotus sit. “You can hate me for it but this will teach you control. Once you have control, there won’t be any reason to dread what you’re capable of. You’ll have conquered your fear on two fronts.”

It made sense when she thought about it. If she could stand up to the Winter Soldier, she could handle anyone else who might come her way and once in command of her powers, there wouldn’t be the risk of accidentally injuring or killing anyone she didn’t want to.

“I don’t think I hate you,” she admitted after a moment of consideration. The reluctance in her voice having more to do with the challenge she faced than her feelings toward him. “Can we… I get what you want me to do but it can’t be like last time. If I call for you, if I need you to stop, will you please pull me out?”

“A compromise?”

“Yes.”

Loki pondered the request. “Fair, but you have to make an effort.”

“I will. I just don’t want to relive that moment of near death, I can’t take it.” Tearing her eyes away from him, Yelena glanced at her vanity mirror once more. She couldn’t unsee what she’d seen but desperately wished to banish it from thought. _‘I can’t be that close to him again…’_

That also meant she’d have to defeat him before those final moments.

“Are you ready?” Loki asked, either oblivious to her unease or deliberately ignoring it.

“I think so.”

She’d barely given him the go-ahead when his fingers touched to her temple and the room spun. Fading crisp, cream colored walls to shabby ones with frayed, yellowing paper. The front door was open and Yelena ducked in time to avoid the fist that swung her way.

_‘Okay, focus. He’s half monster, half machine, nothing more. He won’t kill you, he didn’t. He’s just an empty vessel to—’_

The Winter Soldier’s metal fist closed around her throat and slammed her up against the wall. First blood had been drawn and Yelena sputtered, gasping for air. She kicked her legs, pushing off against his chest, then wrestled free. Once more seeking refuge in another room.

It was the same dance as before. They traded blows, threw and smashed furniture, and knocked each other around. She tried not to look at his face, refused to meet his eyes—they were too distracting and oddly painful. Worse than the phantom agony that wracked her body.

The gun stayed hidden under her bed this time because she already knew the bullets wouldn’t hit no matter what she tried. Instead, using the few seconds she had before he’d catch up, she tried to emulate what she’d practiced with Loki. To push her power toward her target. Not to embrace but to defend and attack.

Small flurries flitted through the air and Yelena grumbled in frustration, “Not the cute stuff, it has to hurt!”

Time was up and the soldier marched her way. She slammed the metal bed frame into his body once more and rather than wait for him to charge, she ran for the kitchen. Trying to imagine ways her gift could stop him. Something behind her crunched and crumbled, and when she glanced over her shoulder she saw the soldier frozen in place.

Thick blocks of ice encased his boots, and he snarled in anger. So furious that he’d smashed a hole into the wall.

“Okay, alright… that’s a start,” she told herself but her small victory was short lived.

The soldier bent down and shattered the ice around his feet, then raced for his target. She couldn’t outrun him and within seconds he stood over her broken body, ready to break her skull. Fingers dug into the sides of her head and again there were those eyes, holding her reflection. One and the same.

One, two, three. Her head throbbed and the violent rattling of her brain shook another memory loose.

_‘Zvyozdochka moya, you look so much like your papa.’_ Her mother’s voice echoed. _‘His name was James and he was strong, just like you are. You are the best of him, malen'kiy volk.’_

“No, no…” Yelena whimpered with tears in her eyes, fighting more than just the man holding her down.

_‘James Buchanan Barnes, Hydra captive, experiments, serum, Winter Soldier… working for Hydra… His name was James and he was strong, just like you are… born in 1917… alive today… they’re, he’s… killed the Starks in 1991.’_

The connections her mind formed knocked the air from her lungs far more than the soldier’s fists did. Rather than feeling her skull split and watching the light fade, it was her heart beating beyond control and her body shaking that dragged her into unconsciousness before she could even think to call for Loki’s help.

“Yelena. Hey, little mortal, wake up please,” someone called out and she struggled to identify the source until the added mutterings reminded her of where she was and with who, “Thor’s going to kill me.”

“Loki…”

“I’m here,” he soothed with a tenderness in his voice she’d never heard him speak with before.

Her eyes blinked against the light and she felt a set of arms wrapped around her. Something cool pressing to her forehead. Yelena glanced at the mirror in her room and saw Loki sitting against the headboard of her bed, holding her in his lap. Rocking her in his embrace. His face nestled against her own.

“I will kill you if you ever tell anyone about this but, by the Norns, you gave me quite a scare.” Loki cupped her chin in his hand and tilted her head up gently before he put a glass of water to her lips. “Drink, then tell me what happened.”

“Scare?” Yelena mumbled, still adjusting to her surroundings, before she took a sip.

“The shaking and heart palpitations. That didn’t happen last time. What went wrong, why didn’t you call for me?”

“I…” Somewhere in the far reaches of her mind, voices still echoed words she didn’t wish to hear. Puzzle pieces were falling into place and there wasn’t much left to deny but it wasn’t anything she felt ready to discuss. “I failed, that’s all. I couldn’t do it.”

“I don’t believe you. I felt your power surge.”

“It wasn’t enough.”

“But you used the gift, didn’t you?”

“I had him trapped in ice, for a second, but then…” She pried herself free and slipped from bed. Wobbling on her feet but acting tougher than she felt. Letting the trained operative in her speak, “I won’t make excuses for my failure, next time I’ll do better.”

A fool might have bought into her posturing but Loki didn’t. “Tell me what happened.”

“Nothing, I messed up, that’s it,” Yelena insisted and drank until the glass of water was empty. “You know, I should probably go and have something to eat after all. With my fast-working metabolism it was foolish to skip a meal, I wasn’t at my full strength.”

“Are you certain it was nothing?” Doubt arched one of Loki’s brows.

“Yeah, sure. Hey, let me show you how we uh… Midgardians, was it? How we prepare frozen pizzas! Not exactly a delicacy but it’s good enough. Do you like cheese?”

It was clear she didn’t wish to be argued with, not now, and Loki seemed to take the hint when he finally got up. Yelena didn’t for a second think she’d get away with the lie for long, sooner or later he’d want to know what truly went on, and maybe she’d need someone to talk to but that wouldn’t be tonight. Her stomach was positively growling and she needed to chase away the jitters keeping her on edge before she could continue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zvyozdochka moya = my little star  
malen'kiy volk = little wolf


	14. Cool Temperaments

**— 14: Cool Temperaments —**

Foregoing the use of the state-of-the-art dishwasher, Natasha decided to tackle the breakfast plates and cups by hand. Something to keep busy and make herself useful in lieu of having anything else to do. Staying at the compound just didn’t feel the way it used to, even with their new guests, and like others, Natasha had plenty on her mind.

Her preoccupied state didn’t escape Bruce’s notice. He’d spent the past few minutes trying to talk to her after she’d suggested he get a haircut. “Maybe I’ll shave it, get a nice mohawk…”

“Mhm,” Natasha mumbled, washing the same plate for a third time before rinsing it off. Staring entranced at the stream of water pouring from the faucet before she snapped from thought and looked at her partner. “What, wait?”

He smiled. “What has you so distracted, Nat?”

“Oh, it’s a list…” She tossed the scrub brush into the sink and washed her hands. “First the obvious one that’s on everyone’s mind. Second, Lena who I thought was settling in nicely but I’ve barely seen her in the past few days and she hasn’t spoken a word to us since Tony’s impromptu meeting about the Accords. And third, Steve who’s returning home with Barnes in tow…”

“Is he?” That news took Bruce by surprise and he worried. “Are we sure we want to be here when… you know… Him, Barnes, Tony, Yelena…” He mimicked an explosion and elicited a soft chuckle from the woman he loved.

“That’s exactly why we need to be here. I should prepare them both, before Steve gets here. I’m just worried Lena will want to take off again.”

“It’s possible, but she’ll definitely run if she’s confronted with Barnes unexpectedly.”

“I’m aware.” Natasha sighed and circled the kitchen island to find Bruce’s arms, and he doted on her by kissing the side of her neck.

“You shouldn’t worry about her so much. She may be quiet lately but I caught her in here last night with Loki, preparing frozen pizza and adding extra cheese. Teaching him about various kinds of cheese and showing him how to use the oven.”

“Really? I can’t quite picture that…”

“It was an odd sight,” Bruce admitted with a chuckle. “But whatever his crimes and flaws, they seem to be getting along. Maybe he’s simply kept her busy teaching her how to use her gift.”

“Hmm.” Natasha wasn’t convinced and the idea of Yelena actually bonding with Loki didn’t sit right with her either.

“We should gather everyone and deliver the news,” Bruce proposed. “Give them time to adjust. Do you still have your old apartment in the city?”

“No, I sold that months ago. Why?”

“In case we need an alternative to Steve and Barnes living here.”

“We’ll just have to figure something out.” Natasha pushed her hand into his hair, twirling a small curl around her finger and smiled. “Just the split ends, no mohawk. I’ll cut it for you tonight.”

“Works for me.” He let her go while she pulled out her phone and messaged everyone, asking them to meet her in the living room.

Only Rhodes was absent when they gathered ten minutes later, and Tony excused, “He’s in Washington dealing with a few big wigs.”

“Have you spoken with Ross?” asked Bruce.

“Nope. The one time I actually want to talk to him and he’s nowhere to be found.”

“Figures,” Natasha scoffed and observed Yelena and Loki who both perched on a set of barstools in the back. Neither appearing too keen on joining the group. “Well, I have some news—Steve called.”

“Are you finally going to tell me what he’s been up to?” Tony sat down, his gut telling him whatever news she had to share wouldn’t be a good thing.

“You can ask him yourself, soon, because he’s on his way home.”

“Home, as in here? That’s not exactly the sort of news that warrants a team—”

“Barnes is coming with him,” Natasha added quickly and held her breath, prepared for an onslaught of upset but the room remained curiously silent.

She watched Yelena for any reaction but a shroud of stoicism wrapped around the young woman and her expression became unreadable. Perfectly matching Tony who merely sat there without a word, either trying to temper his emotions, for once, or building up to an explosive reaction. The only one who did respond was Loki by taking Yelena’s hand in his own, and Natasha’s brows knitted together.

“So uh… we figured we should probably discuss living arrangements, or whether we’re okay with letting them both stay here. I don’t think Steve wants to be separated from him again…” she continued with caution while she and Bruce exchanged a worried glance.

“I’m sure they’d understand if—” Bruce had meant to back her up and encourage anyone to speak their mind but Tony interrupted.

Ignoring both while he turned to Yelena. “Frosty?”

“This is your place, your call,” she told him with a mask of indifference.

“The living quarters a few levels down have recently been renovated. Not as big as up here but enough to accommodate two people,” Tony mused out loud.

Yelena nodded. “And far enough away that no one would be bumping into anyone they don’t wish to encounter.”

“Good thinking,” he agreed while Natasha and Bruce sat baffled, not understanding their reactions.

“What… uh, guys? Are you really okay with this or am I missing something here?” Natasha asked.

“You’re not missing anything. Oh, clean sheets. When are they arriving?” Tony got up and grabbed his tablet, then stared at Natasha impatiently waiting for an answer.

“Tomorrow, I think…”

“Good. I’ll have someone prepare their rooms and stock the fridge. Was there anything else?”

“Not that I can think of. Tony, are you—”

“Then I’ll be in my office and if you’re planning a welcome home party, please do so downstairs. I have a lot of work to do and I’d prefer not to be distracted.” Without another word, he walked off and following his exit, Yelena got up as well.

“We should continue my training,” she told Loki and attempted to drag him along.

“Lena! If this is too much for you we—” Natasha tried but her efforts were rebuffed a second time.

“Nope, I’m fine, thank you.”

Loki said nothing, only a hint of a smirk teasing at the corners of his mouth as he followed her out. Leaving Bruce and Natasha stunned.

“That did not go as I’d anticipated. Out of all possible reactions…” Natasha sunk into the sofa and shook her head. “What’s gotten into them?”

Still staring at the hallway through which all three had vanished again, Bruce admitted, “I’m as surprised as you are.”

“Somehow this feels worse than if they’d simply gotten angry.”

“Maybe they talked things through that night they went for burgers? Helped each other deal with the Barnes issue?”

“No. I mean, it’s possible they discussed it but I don’t think they’ve put it behind them. It’s too fresh for Lena and Tony wouldn’t come around that easily after months of hostility.”

“Well…” Bruce pulled her into his arms and teased a ginger lock from her face. “Nothing more we can do about it now. We’re just gonna have to see how this plays out.”

* * *

There was little time to waste with Bucky’s imminent arrival so Yelena rushed to her room, with Loki on her heels, and quickly shut the door for privacy. “Take me back there,” she insisted the second they were alone.

“Again? We’ve been at this night and day and you’ve made no progress,” he argued. A complete role reversal while Yelena glanced around.

“I need to get some decent chairs in here, but this will do for now.” She began urging him toward her bed, ignoring his protest.

“I’d rather we do something else entirely.” Something of a smile played around his eyes but Yelena just shrugged. Taking her pillows to lay them out on the floor next to her bed.

“I can do it, Loki. I won’t fail again.”

“Will you at least tell me what caused your blackout last night?”

Yelena shook her head, sitting down in a lotus position. “Not yet, after. Just take me back there one last time.”

“Careful,” Loki warned but mirrored her actions as he sat down too. “I do not take orders from anyone.”

“Please.”

“You’re a nuisance,” he grumbled and took her hands. “Very well, close your eyes and do not neglect to call on me should you need to.”

All he received was a curt nod before Yelena embraced the memory that revived all around her. She didn’t pause to inspect her surroundings or find her footing, knowing exactly from which angle he’d approach. There was a plan and all she had to do was execute it without fear and hesitation.

Fear and hesitation which were currently overshadowed by her anger.

Timing her move precisely, she spun around and ducked out of the way before the Winter soldier could wrap her in his fist once more, maneuvering herself behind him. The heel of her boot jammed into his back and she kicked him into the wall.

She channeled her gift almost as if it had become second nature. The soldier turned to face her but found himself trapped in place. Yelena didn’t stop at encasing only his feet this time, instead creating layers of ice until his entire body, save for his head, stuck frozen to the wall.

A small sigh puffed past her lips and she allowed herself a moment to bask in triumph. She’d done it, at last, and perhaps Natasha’s news had been the push she needed or maybe it was the truth relentlessly begging to be acknowledged. All those things she’d be a fool to ignore any longer—especially now.

She stepped closer. Slow and cautiously as the Winter soldier snarled, eager for their same old dance and fighting his restraints. Mute but ferocious.

It took all of Yelena’s strength to trap his jaw in her hand and hold him still. Narrowing her eyes on him, turning his face left and right before forcing him to look at her again.

“How have I never noticed?” she whispered, her heart pounding in her chest. “All those nightmares, your face haunting me for years but I never saw before…”

The soldier tensed in his bonds, desperate to get back to his fight but didn’t react otherwise. It wasn’t as if he could actually hear her. All he knew was how to re-enact their battle time and time again. Just a ghost of the past incapable of defying the natural course of this encounter but she didn’t need his words to confirm her suspicions.

“James Buchanan Barnes. Maybe I didn’t want to see, how could I? The James my mother knew was… troubled but kind. Funny, charming. A good man, she said. Not you—you’re a monster. A hunter and a killer. You have no soul.”

Yelena took a step back, shaking hands balling into fists. “It makes sense, I guess. What she said about your mind. Everything Natasha left out about your reconditioning—I should have read between the lines. You were James with my mother and the soldier every time they took you away from her. From us.

“Do you know I used to fantasize about you showing up one day?” She snorted and brushed a tear from her cheek. “Well, I suppose you did show, just not as yourself, huh? Yeah… bet those Hydra bastards had a good laugh about that.”

Small cracks snapped through the silence when Yelena paused to take a breath. Jagged veins began splitting the ice as the soldier attempted to shatter his bonds and she was forced to add another layer to his prison.

“I want to break you so badly,” she confessed, biting her lip to the point of bleeding. “Do you know the things they did to me after you brought me back there? I should be stronger than that, a pity party doesn’t serve anyone but… _cyka blyat_, I owe you so much pain.”

Weaving her hands through the air, she transformed the Winter soldier into a life-like frozen sculpture. Head to toe. His eyes, those she’d come to loathe so strongly, the last to disappear behind a sheen of ice. Freezing his skin, every nerve, and the blood coursing through his body.

She paced back and forth, debating her next move. Pausing to stare at the statue every so often while her anger surged to new heights thinking of everything she’d endured. Everything he represented and the destruction he’d caused. Her anguish. All the times she’d almost died by his hand.

Yelena spun back around and cried out in fury before throwing her full might into one swing. Shattering the sculpture which crumbled at her feet, scarlet pieces littering between chunks of ice. The soldier was no more and she waited, staring at the floor, expecting him to somehow rise again to beat her down but nothing happened.

It didn’t matter, the truth was out. She’d faced her demon at last in more ways than one. Willful ignorance replaced by clarity, and not only toward the crushed man at her feet but the web she’d been caught up in most recently.

“Loki… get me out of here,” she whispered.

Within seconds she was back in her room and grounded by the endless forest reflected in Loki’s eyes. A split second of calm before a barrage of emotion rattled her heart and mind all over again. Feeling the urge to seek out comfort but banishing it again just as swiftly—she’d never been that person.

“Did you succeed?” Loki asked and he reached out but Yelena backed away and got up.

She nodded in response and took her pillow. Fluffing it and smoothing out the fabric before she began remaking her bed with trembling hands. There was so much to digest and the use of her power had been draining.

“Good.” He observed her with a hint of curiosity. “Can you tell me what happened?”

“I defeated him.”

“Yes, with your gift. I felt it but I’d like to hear how you accomplished this feat.”

“Just did.” Yelena gestured for him to get up and grabbed the other pillow he’d been sitting on. Occupying herself with a most pointless task but Loki clasped her shoulders and forced her to look at him.

“Tell me what really happened.”

“Why? You already know, don’t you? Everyone here does, except for me. That’s why everyone made such an effort to keep me here, to bring me back here. The big secret lurking behind every conversation and so-called good intention.”

Loki became genuinely confused and urged, “Please clarify what it is you—”

“Do _not_ insult me or yourself by playing dumb,” she snapped. “It doesn’t suit you and I’m out of patience when it comes to lies and deception.”

Taken aback by her accusation, he took a second to swallow his temper and hissed, “I’m not lying. I’m merely asking what it is you are referring to.”

“Barnes. The Winter Soldier. That he’s my…” It was such a painful word to get across her lips. “Father.”

Slowly, the briefing regarding Yelena that he and Thor had received when they first arrived at the compound surfaced in Loki’s mind. He’d truly forgotten and not for a second considered their training sessions might reveal something they shouldn’t. “Ah. I see.”

“I’m not mad at you, you and I never discussed this, but please stop pretending—”

“Yes, I knew. Or rather I’d been told but I did not take that into account when I forced you to relive those memories,” Loki admitted and sat her down to share his side, vowing he’d never intended to reveal the truth to her in this fashion. “How did you come to realize?”

“A combination of things. My mother’s words and Natasha’s. Finding out that Barnes and the soldier are the same and then… as we fought I looked into his eyes and it all just, it started falling into place.”

“So last night you…?”

“I think I panicked, finally seeing the truth. Something I couldn’t quite handle.”

Briefly, a scowl flitted across Loki’s face but then his expression softened. “You should have told me immediately.”

“There was no point. I needed to do this for all the reasons you laid out, regardless of what else I discovered. Would you have put a stop to our training, honestly?”

“No,” he agreed. “How did you deal with him in the end?”

She shrugged, and for the first time a faint smile lingered on her lips. “Turned him into a frozen statue then shattered him to pieces. Not quite the epic battle or what I’ve been trained to do as a soldier but… cathartic, somewhat, and effective.”

Loki couldn’t help but laugh gently. “It doesn’t matter how, only that you did. What about tomorrow?”

“I don’t know. It won’t be the same as reliving my memories. He’ll be real and, if Natasha is to be believed, cured. Something close to normal. He’ll be… James.” Dropping back against her mattress, Yelena blew out a deep sigh.

She had no idea what tomorrow would bring and every part of her dreaded to find out. “Anyway,” she opted for distraction and nudged Loki with her knee. “Now that I’ve completed my task, I believe you owe me more stories about yourself and life on Asgard.”


	15. Explosive Reunions

**— 15: Explosive Reunions —**

It wasn’t easy showing up for breakfast the next morning to mingle with those who were still keeping secrets from her. No doubt they all had their reason—and Yelena was certain Steve had orchestrated the entire charade—but their good intentions were a burden. It hurt.

“Stay, join us.” Natasha flashed a smile too kind when Yelena loaded her plate full of pancakes. “I haven’t seen much of you in the past couple of days. Has training kept you busy?”

“It has.” She poured out one cup of coffee and one cup of tea. “And I’ll be having breakfast in my room with Loki.”

“You could both join us?”

“We’d rather not. Or he might, I’m not sure actually, but I am definitely not interested in sitting here and playing happy family.” The harsh words spilled before Yelena could stop herself.

Having quietly listened in while reading his tablet, Tony looked up and quirked a brow. Not that he disapproved of her attitude, it was refreshing to hear the snark come from someone else for a change but, barring the obvious, he wasn’t sure what troubled the newcomer so bad she’d snipe at others.

“Lena, if you’re this bothered by Barnes’ return…” Natasha began but Loki’s sudden appearance had her falling silent.

Bidding them all a good morning, he took the cup of tea Yelena offered, snuck his arm along her lower back and clasped her elbow to pull her close. Whispering only for her to hear, _“Calm down. Remember what you said last night.”_

It did the trick and Yelena traded her scowl in for a smile before they both sat down. “I’m fine,” she said, “just not a morning person.”

The reality was that she didn’t want to fight with any of them and Loki knew.

In her eyes, everything from the second they’d woken her from cryo had been a lie. She’d offered them the details of her life and they’d thanked her by keeping secrets. One after another, but it was a good reminder to keep her walls up and therefore she’d have to shield her emotions, which meant taking the high road rather than arguing. She just needed to have a civil talk with Steve at some point to sort this out, when she felt ready.

In turn, Loki, while tempted, had swallowed the urge to encourage her wrath. After all, god of mischief was a title rightfully his and he’d love nothing more than to sit back and watch the chaos unfold but he’d made a promise to Thor. Furthermore, though he’d never admit it, a part of him didn’t want to see her hurt any more than she already was. Knowing all too well what it feels like to discover your true heritage and find out such information was deliberately kept from you.

“So you’re still certain you don’t mind him staying here with Steve?” asked Natasha and while she addressed Yelena, she also kept an eye on Tony.

“I’m new here, it’s not my call,” Yelena reiterated once more and added, “Besides, no better place to keep an eye on him, right?”

“Speaking of,” Tony interjected and put his tablet down, “I added new security measures in case Barnes isn’t quite as cured.”

“Measures such as what?” asked Bruce after finishing the last of his omelet. Confrontations weren’t something he enjoyed so he’d kept quiet but now his curiosity had been piqued.

“A special program that immediately grounds anything made of vibranium.”

“Vibranium?” Yelena furrowed her brows.

“A rare metal. It’s what Steve’s old shield is made of and, if Natasha’s information is correct, Barnes’ new arm.”

Bruce ran a hand down his stubbled jaw. “You’ve basically created a magnet to trap him?”

“Basically.” Tony flashed a smug grin and transferred the activation codes for the new protocol to Yelena, Bruce, and Natasha. “You’re on your own,” he told Loki.

“I’m not worried.” The god smirked and sipped his tea.

Trying for a change of subject, Bruce turned to Yelena. “Have you made any progress? I’m sorry I haven’t been around to monitor the changes in your molecular structure when you transform.”

“It’s going well, actually. I can morph at will now and I’ve learned to focus my powers. Loki is a wonderful tutor.”

“Really? How did you accomplish this in such a short time?” Bruce looked at Loki, somewhat impressed while next to him, Natasha fought to quell her suspicion.

“I have my ways,” he spoke plainly, “and a very cooperative pupil.”

An answer too vague for Natasha’s liking and she probed, “And what ways are those?”

“What time are they arriving?” Yelena didn’t feel like discussing the methods of her training much further. It wasn’t any of their business and she took issue with sharing so openly knowing they hadn’t granted her the same courtesy. “I’d rather make myself scarce before then.”

“I left Steve a message but…” Natasha’s voice drifted when she caught something in her peripherals and she turned around.

Outside on the helipad, one of the newer quinjet models landed and Steve ambled down the boarding ramp with Bucky in tow. Both men looking rather terse, exchanging a few words as they approached, and the mood inside the compound shifted instantly.

“Uh…” Natasha stammered at the unexpected early arrival.

“I believe the answer you’re looking for is ‘now’,” Loki quipped at Natasha though his eyes were on Yelena next to him, watching her pale and shrink in on herself.

“Well, that’s my cue to leave.” Tony finished his coffee and got up before he instructed, “Nat, escort them downstairs as soon as possible, please, and Frosty, you don’t have to stick around for this if you don’t want to.”

Yelena barely heard him. Only the sound of blood coursing through her veins echoed in her ears as she rose slowly. She didn’t feel Natasha trying to grab her arm as she rounded the kitchen island and crept toward the double doors which slid open. Didn’t see anything other than Steve’s nervous smile when she drew closer and just as he was about to utter a greeting, Yelena made a fist that struck him so hard that his head twisted to the side.

“Lena!” Natasha jumped from her seat but Bruce took her hand to discourage her from intervening.

Tony, stopped in his tracks by her curious behavior, activated only the glove of his suit but waited to see what would happen next.

“What…” Clutching his jaw, Steve stared at her wide-eyed. He’d realized their arrival wouldn’t be celebrated but he hadn’t thought her to be this angry, not after Natasha had prepared and filled her in.

“How dare you!” Yelena spat though she refrained from hitting him a second time. Shaking with anger and gone were her intentions to discuss the issue with him in a more civil manner—emotion was an ugly beast not easily tamed.

Behind Steve, Bucky stood ill at ease, not quite knowing what to say or do, or whether he should at all but Yelena paid him no mind. One problem at a time and Steve was at the top of her list.

“How… Yelena, what—” Steve tried but she cut him off.

“I know!”

“Know… what? Are you talking about the things Nat explained to you?” Confusion riddled his expression while the others exchanged uncertain glances.

“No, Steve. I _know_.” The emphasis on her words and the glimpse cast in Bucky’s direction got the message across clear this time. “And I’m not interested in your excuses, explanations, or whatever good intentions you had in keeping this from me!”

“Uh oh…” Tony intoned quietly while Natasha threw Loki a foul glare but he held his hands up with an expression of innocence.

Caught off guard and with his plans of easing her into the news ruined, Steve tried, “Please, Yelena, let me—”

“No!” She shook her head and swatted at his words. “I thought you would have learned by now, after what happened between you and Tony, that it’s not up to you to decide what a person is and isn’t allowed to know about things that concern their own life! That’s not your call to make!”

“I know that, I do, but I wanted to protect you! You were already so—”

“Yes, I was having a hard time adjusting but that’s no excuse! You kept this from me! Everyone else here knew but you made all of them keep this a secret from me!”

“I didn’t want to lose you!”

“Lose me? You don’t even know me! We’re strangers to each other!”

“You’re right, but I was afraid that if I told you everything about him, you’d leave a second time and never come back.”

“I probably would have but so what? Huh? Come on, out with it, admit it! Why would you care if I had left?”

“Because you’re his—”

“Mmm, and there we have it at last!” Yelena mocked and clapped her hands together to applaud him. “Your extremely selfish motivations in all this. Because of _him_! Your precious best friend and the reason you have no qualms stepping all over everyone else’s feelings! Consequences be damned, right? Because your intentions were good!”

“I didn’t mean to cause you any further upset.” Steve ran a hand through his hair and sighed. This was not at all going as he’d hoped or planned.

“I’m sure you didn't, but tell me—did you ever consider I might not want this? That you could have let me leave and I could be happy not knowing? Being out there in the world, somewhere, living my own life without ever having to know that my worst nightmare is my own… That he is…” The heartbreak she’d tried to ignore swelled through her anger and released in a sob.

“I…” Steve stood at a loss for words, guilt crushing him like a tidal wave because he hadn’t considered those things. He’d been so occupied in thinking a reunion between father and daughter might help them both heal from their awful pasts that he’d failed to see the hurt it might cause. “No. I didn’t. I thought…”

All Yelena could do was shake her head and resent the tears which stung in her eyes. Hating her own weakness. Hurt and infuriated not only by the fact he’d kept this a secret but by the very reason he’d kept it—not to protect her but to tell her at a moment of his choosing.

“You’ve manipulated me from the start! Acting so kind and understanding, pleading with me to stay, promising I’d be better off—”

A deafening blast drowned out the last of Yelena’s words when an unexpected shockwave pulsed through the building. Every window on every floor shattered, spraying glass left and right. The foundation of the compound shook from the explosive impact, bringing down its ceiling and tearing apart the ground beneath their feet. The water main burst and lights began to flicker, and another two explosions reduced the first few levels of the building to rubble.

“Everyone out, now!” Tony activated his suit and comms but all he could hear was a ringing so fierce it tore at his eardrums.

Sirens began howling over the thundering of sheer destruction. The kitchen island burst into flames and Bruce transitioned into the Hulk just in time to shield Natasha from debris that rained down on them. Carrying her in his arms, he leapt down the sinking levels while Tony flew around scanning the smoky haze for the rest of their team.

The top floor split wide open and Yelena fell through, hitting several structural beams on her way down until a cold, metal hand grabbed her wrist to pull her aside. The split second it took her to look into Bucky’s eyes triggered her transformation but rather than lash out at him, she focused her power on the thick slab that came hurtling toward the pair, turning cement to ice. Bucky spun around and made a fist, shattering the frozen block with ease but when he looked again, Yelena was gone, whisked away to the safety of the lawn by Loki.

“Steve!” Bucky shouted, eyes stinging from the ash and smoke.

All around him the fire built and Steve became trapped on the floor above. Pinned down by the flames and heat threatening to scorch his skin until a cool gust of frozen particles created a small opening for him to jump through. Together, he and Bucky were the last to make it down while Yelena collapsed to her knees, drained and the injuries she’d sustained wearing on her.

A trail of fire and small detonations reached the gas pipes and set the entire structure ablaze. Kicking off an explosion that rocked the earth and reduced all but the upper two levels of the compound to dust and debris.

Finally everyone stood at a safe distance, staring in stunned silence, as the jet Steve and Bucky had arrived in unceremoniously slid down the slanted landing pad. It tumbled and skid across the lawn for a few feet before it came to a halt on its side.

“Friday, activate emergency and search and rescue protocols,” Tony barked into his comms, knowing they hadn’t been the only ones present in the building. Swooping down to land, he observed his team. “Is everyone alright?”

They barely heard him, ears still ringing from the loud blasts, but when he held a thumb up and gesticulated in question, Natasha gave him the okay sign. “What the hell caused this?” she shouted.

“How should I know?!”

“Ugh…” Bruce let out a deep groan as the last of green faded from his skin. Wiping specks of ash from his hair while he observed the damage. “I shouldn’t have joked about any explosive reunions.”

Shaking his head at the devastation and fires which still burned, he reeled Natasha into his arms and checked her thrice over for any injuries.

“What about you guys?” Tony marched over to the other four with Steve giving him the thumbs up and Bucky merely nodding.

The only one who’d truly gotten hurt was Yelena, and Loki carried her in his arms. “She needs help,” he insisted as she fought his hold, trying to get to her own feet.

“I’m fine, just—Loki put me down, I’m not a damn invalid!”

“Don’t put her down,” said Tony while he utilized the scanners in his suit for a quick examination. “Three bruised ribs, a right shoulder fracture and several lacerations.”

“See? Just fine and I heal fast so—”

“Quiet, I’m in no mood to argue,” he cut her off and jogged toward the jet. “Someone help me flip this thing so I can check if the systems are still operational!

“Friday, report.”

Both Steve and Bucky rushed over to help Tony out, using their combined strength, while Friday relayed, _“Twenty-nine employees were checked in at the time of the incident but I’m not detecting any life signs, boss. I’m sorry.”_

The news cast a sombre silence over the group but there was little time to dwell on their losses. Tony checked the jet’s flight and coordination functions, then punched in the location for one of his safe-houses before he beckoned Bruce and Natasha over as well.

“Most of New York heard and saw what happened, it won’t be long before black SUVs and helicopters show up bringing the government to our doorstep,” Tony explained while he began ushering Loki and Yelena inside. “None of you can be here for that.”

“Tony, we’re not leaving you!” Natasha and Steve argued almost simultaneously but he brushed them off.

“There is nothing you can do here. This…” He glanced over his shoulder and closed his eyes, a heavy sigh pouring straight from his heart. “There is no rescue op, only cleanup and investigation. Go. I will join you when I can.”

Natasha clutched his hand between her own. “You don’t have to do this alone.”

“Yes, I do, and that’s my own fault. Get to safety, I’ll forward the information you need to access my safe house. Make sure Bruce tends to Frosty and then wait until you hear from me.”

“Tony…” Steve caught his eye right before the boarding ramp retracted and the hatch closed.

“Keep them safe, Cap.”


	16. Heavy Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the late'ish update compared to prior weeks. The end of the year is drawing closer and life always gets a little crazy around this time so the schedule may fluctuate a little but this story won't be fading from existence. <3

**— 16: Heavy Hearts —**

Within minutes, the grounds surrounding the compound’s ruins became flooded with law enforcement, exactly as Tony had predicted. Three helicopters touched down and five squad cars unloaded, bringing forces led by Thaddeus Ross into the field.

“Sure, now he's suddenly available,” Tony scoffed inwardly as he forwarded his findings to Natasha.

Just before the troops arrived, he'd managed to run a full simulation of the explosion to track its origin point. An inside job, by the looks of it, and not an accident, but he'd need time to confirm his suspicions without the government's interference. That meant another oblique dance while trying to get rid of Ross as soon as possible.

“Care to explain what happened here, Stark?” the man asked when he approached.

Tony deactivated his suit and put on his best business persona. “Perhaps, if I knew, but the cause is yet to be determined.”

“And you’re sure about that?” Ross pressed, knowing full well that Tony had a penchant for evasive answers.

“I probably am.”

“Well then. I’m sure my men will get to the bottom of this soon enough,” said Ross as they strolled to where the main entrance used to be.

Caught off guard, Tony held his step. “Excuse me, _your_ men?”

“We’ve spent the past months training a new elite task force capable of handling any disaster. If this is the result of sabotage or an attack, we’ll know soon.”

“You’ll… what? No. I’m here, this was my home and I will deal with this myself,” Tony argued. He wasn’t about to be shooed out of the way or let Ross' men near the collapsed structure. “You can go back to your office and await my report.”

“Don’t forget your place, Mr. Stark. This isn’t a job for your alter ego and the Avengers, or what remains of them. We’ve got this.”

Ross’ dismissive tone was the last drop in Tony’s already overfilled bucket, with the lives lost today and the potential betrayal weighing on him. The past weeks had been too stressful and the Accords too claustrophobic. He’d never enjoyed being trapped or bowing down to anyone—something he should have remembered—and with the debates he’d had with his team, it had become even more clear that things needed to change.

“Oh, I haven’t forgotten my place,” said Tony as he faced Ross. “In fact, it seems I finally remember who I am and I’m not asking for permission. Stand down, Secretary.”

“Don’t do this, Stark. I’d hate having to arrest you as well and what happened here is tragic enough already, don’t you think?” Ross barely batted an eye though he did signal a few of his personal guard to stand ready.

“If this was an attack then that means someone just declared war on earth’s most powerful force and its first line of defense. Your men can’t handle that. You need me and my team—all of them.”

“You overestimate your value. The Accords, which you advocated for, clearly state—”

“Tear them up. Abandon the Accords and reinstate the Avengers as an independent team.”

“A team? Two of them are under house arrest and the others are wanted fugitives—you have no team. Don’t be foolish, let my men take care of this and I will give you a call once we have answers.”

“No. Or perhaps…” Drumming his fingers against his chin, Tony paced around as though he were in deep thought. Diving into a risky game. “Yes, maybe I should let you handle this while I head into the city to meet with the press.”

“The press? For what?”

“Full transparency. Wasn’t that part of the Accords as well?”

Ross raised a brow. “What are you getting at, Stark?”

“Oh, I don’t know. All the skeletons that have been piling up in your closet ever since your college days?”

“Are you trying to blackmail me?”

“Then again, I suppose I could just cut the government’s contract with Stark Industries. Remind me, how many departments depend on my continued support?”

“I’m warning you…” Ross gritted his teeth and hissed, unamused, “this is not how you want to play this.”

“Oh, I think it is. I think this is exactly how I’m going to play things unless you make me a better offer. Say, full immunity for myself and all members of my team while we renegotiate the Accords?”

“You’re bluffing.”

“Try me. Or arrest me. Or try to arrest me because, trust me, your reach may extend far but I have the means to outrun you at every turn, tedious as that would be, for the rest of my life and probably the next,” Tony dared.

A momentary stand-off between two power houses but the Secretary knew that losing Tony Stark’s support would send both the government and the economy into disarray. Something that would no doubt jeopardize his own position and he wasn’t prepared to gamble away everything he’d worked so hard to achieve.

“You won’t get away with this for long,” threatened Ross as he activated his earpiece. He ordered his unit to stand down and return to their base while he cast a foul glare in Tony’s direction. “I’m not the only one who pushed for these Accords—the UN won’t be so quick to change its tune.”

“Perhaps, but the initiative came from Wakanda’s former King, and something tells me its new King may have had a change of heart. I’m sure with his blessing, you can sway the others.”

Infuriated, Ross strode off without another word. Joining his men in one of the helicopters and Tony breathed a sigh of relief when they disappeared from sight. He took a minute to himself, processing everything that had happened in the past thirty minutes, then prepared his orders.

“Friday, I need a full history analysis of all systems, every piece of communication coming in and going out in the last twenty-four hours. Pull up the personal records for every employee who’s been inside the building in the past week and cross-match those results with every other database. Look for anyone who may have been in trouble with the law recently, in debt, gambling addictions and so forth. Same for their immediate family.”

“On it, boss.”

* * *

How could she have let herself go in that way? She’d been so set on taking the mature approach—polite and civil conversation to tell Steve how little she appreciated his secret-keeping habits. Instead she’d exploded. No, the building had exploded. Oh, hell, they’d both exploded and crumbled. Had she caused it?

Glancing in the mirror after her shower, Yelena saw only the faintest shimmer of her alter ego’s glacier eyes reflected.

No, she hadn’t caused it but she’d reacted and for the first time, done something right with her powers. That brought an inappropriate smile to her face—what had happened and the loss of lives were no laughing matter—as she dried off best she could and covered herself with the towel before calling Natasha into the bathroom.

Bruce’s examination upon arrival had proven that Tony had been right about her injuries. Five bruised ribs, a fractured shoulder that made it extremely difficult to dress herself, and a series of lacerations down her back that needed bandaging.

“Lena, how did you find…” Natasha began while helping her into pair of sweats but Yelena shook her head—she wasn’t prepared to discuss the incident with Steve or how she’d uncovered the truth.

“Not now. Later. But thank you for helping me.”

“Of course.”

“So, what is this place?”

“Oh, one of Tony’s many secret hideaways, I suspect…”

A lake house on massive parcel of private land in Montauk. Picturesque in its white and blue shades while manicured lawns surrounding the property hid away an underground laboratory, medical hub, and landing bay for the jet.

“Every closet is filled with clothing of varying sizes and linen, and the kitchen cabinets and fridge are fully stocked as well. Do you think he knew something like this would happen or…?” Yelena recalled how he’d once offered her a stay at one of his safe houses.

One. As if the man had several of these massive holdings just sitting empty across America, or possibly the world, waiting for the inevitable.

She considered she should have accepted his offer then and perhaps she’d have been spared all this recent drama.

“Years ago, he lived in Malibu until someone blew up his mansion there. I guess he decided to make sure he’d always have somewhere else to go. That it could happen again, to him or to us,” Natasha explained as she finished bandaging Yelena’s injuries and helped her into a sling.

“Hm. Do you think this was an attack as well?”

“I hope not but… yeah, I worry that it might have been.”

“What do we do now?” Yelena asked.

“We wait. There’s nothing else we can do until Tony’s finished investigating the origin of the explosion.”

“I wish it was an accident…”

Yelena knew it was naive to hope. She’d seen enough and, sadly, caused enough damage in her days with Hydra, and she knew better. The Avengers compound reduced to rubble couldn’t possibly be a simple, unintended and unfortunate event.

They wandered downstairs to the living room where Yelena curled up next to Loki on the sofa. Tucking her feet underneath herself and resisting the urge to lean back against the cushions for comfort.

“Are you—” Loki posed only half a question before she interrupted.

“Not made of glass. I’ll live. Super healing, remember? Give it a few days, not weeks, and I’ll be fine.”

“Forget I even brought it up.” He held his hands up defensively but a smile lingered on his face.

An infectious one that spread to Yelena, short lived, before it faded again and she picked up a magazine from the side table. Browsing shallow articles about beauty tips and silly relationship quizzes that barely registered in her mind while she peered over the edges of the pages at Bucky sat on the opposite couch.

He looked nothing like the man she remembered. There was nothing fierce or threatening about him, and that silver arm with the red star that had hurt her so very bad was long gone, but he caused her heart to start its incessant and anxious pounding nonetheless.

Shifting uncomfortably in his seat and, like her, doing his best to avoid eye contact with just about everyone. Only Steve caught the occasional meager smile from his friend and Yelena considered how difficult the current situation must be for Bucky. Surrounded by people who barely knew, liked, or trusted him.

She almost felt bad for him but then she found him glancing her way and a shiver ran down her spine. The power surging through her veins tingled in her fingertips and she quickly turned her attention back to the boring magazine pages.

“That was impressive,” Bucky told her and broke the silence that had lingered among the group. “What you did with that cement slab and helping Steve escape the fire…”

Something about his voice both pierced her heart and tightened her grip on the magazine. She closed her eyes, counted to ten, and exhaled a deep breath.

One word. That’s all this attempt at conversation needed from her.

“Thanks,” Yelena uttered but then recalled his heroic act in saving her from a terrible fall. Maybe she owed him more than just one word. “And for uh, not letting me plummet to certain death.”

There. That would have to do and she tried hard to avoid looking his way again. Tackling her anger toward Steve had been the easy way out, she realized now, because she couldn’t even begin to scratch the surface where her feelings toward Bucky were concerned.

When Natasha appeared carrying five cups of coffee and one cup of tea, Yelena eagerly accepted a dark brew before excusing herself. “I’m going to have this outside on the patio.”

Peace, quiet, and fresh air was what she needed, if only for a minute. Difficult and slightly painful breaths heaved in her chest, her heart pounding. Perhaps she’d miscalculated just how strong a front she could put on now that Bucky was actually among them. His presence no longer a hypothetical.

She sauntered down the wooden steps from the patio onto the lawn, bare toes digging into the grass that tickled her feet. Dragging herself forward until she reached a bench by the waterside and perched down, her mug firmly clasped between both hands.

The phantom touch of Bucky’s hand grabbing her wrist lingered on her skin. She remembered how close they’d been and how much every fiber of her being had yearned to shatter him into a million pieces. No, he wasn’t the same man who’d haunted her for so long but knowing that, and seeing it, did very little to dispel her trauma and only added to her confusion. The duality of her mind.

“Lena, can we talk? Please?” Steve’s words pierced her thoughts—she hadn’t even noticed him approach.

His voice soft and fragile, causing her to resent the instant guilt she felt over the way she’d lashed out at him. He’d deserved it though, hadn’t he?

“Talk,” she encouraged, though she didn’t turn around nor looked at him.

It was obvious he felt the weight of his actions but she didn’t care to see it reflected in his eyes. It had been hard enough already avoiding his gaze during the short flight to the lake house.

“I’m very sorry. You were right, it wasn’t my decision to make. Not my secret to keep.” Steve sat down and searched her face—the side he could see—for a reaction but she had none to give. “I… it’s not my intention to make excuses, I know that I was wrong, but when I saw you that first day…”

He wrung his hands together and sighed. “I had every intention of telling you but then you shared the story of what you've been through. What the Winter Soldier had done and I lost my nerve. Decided it was best to wait, to ease you into the news. I never considered you wouldn’t want to know at all.

“To me, you were somewhat of a miracle. Something—_someone_—good to come out of all the terrible things Hydra did to him. A chance for him, for both of you, to heal. For him to find his way back to the man he used to be and for you to have the parent that was taken from you before you were even born.”

Yelena’s scoff was barely audible but Steve heard and saw it nonetheless. “I know that was naive and I didn’t think it through. Not in the way I should have, but—”

“Oh I do love apologies that come with a helping of buts,” Yelena sniped.

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop! God just…” She got up and pinched the bridge of her nose. Brows furrowed and repeatedly shaking her head. “Stop saying you’re sorry.

“I don’t need you to be sorry, I just need you to truly understand what you did wrong without throwing a million excuses around. Stop trying to justify it because I _do_ get why you did what you did. Doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

“I know what I did wrong,” Steve promised. “I knew it when I hurt Tony and I should have known better before hurting you. I’m not perfect.”

“No, you’re really not and I don’t expect you to be but, Steve, I… for a moment, with you, that first day, I felt…” Whatever she’d meant to say became swallowed by the reminder not to let her guard down again. “Forget it. I should head back inside. It’s getting cold out here, even for me.”

“Lena…” He wanted to take her hand and stop her.

Insist they work this out here and now but to demand so would be as selfish as everything else he’d done. Better to let her go then and Yelena, with difficulty, leaned down to pick up her coffee cup.

“Give me time,” she told him, fighting to keep her voice even. “I need to sort this out in my head and there’s too much going on already. Who knows what news Tony will bring and whatever happened at the compound takes precedence. Okay?”

“Sure. Okay.”

“Hey…” Yelena held her step right as she turned to leave and finally looked his way. “Did it hurt?”

“What?” Steve frowned but when she indicated at her jaw, he nodded. “Ah, yes. You’ve got a mean left hook.”

“Hrm. _Good_.”

There was almost a smile to accompany her remark but before Steve could fully take her expression in, she’d already started walking back toward the lake house.


	17. It Comes in Threes

**— 17: It Comes in Threes —**

It had never been in Yelena’s nature to let anything hold her back so, injured or not, she ventured into the kitchen with Loki to prepare a big lunch. Word had reached Natasha that Tony was on his way to the lake house with his findings and news to share, and Yelena had no doubt they could all use a solid meal after the day they’d had. Especially with the way their breakfast had been interrupted.

“By the Norns. Do you plan on preparing a meal or is this all part of some ritual sacrifice?” Loki eyed the various ingredients she’d laid out.

Eggs, spaghetti, parmesan, garlic, butter, herbs, and more items he didn’t recognize. He held up a shaker and gave her a questioning look. “What’s this?”

“Black pepper.” Yelena smiled and leaned against the kitchen counter, adjusting her sling so it wouldn’t hinder her too much. “Go on, give it a good sniff.”

“I believe I will pass. You look far too amused to be trusted.”

“Oh well.” She shrugged. “Wanna help out and chop the pancetta?”

“Why?”

“Because I need—” Before she could finish her sentence, Loki snapped his fingers and used his magic to slice and crush all the ingredients as needed. “Okay… you just took all the fun out of it,” Yelena sulked.

“I made it easier.”

“You cheated.”

Watching the pair and aching to contribute in some fashion, Bucky ambled closer and cleared his throat. “Is there anything I can help with?”

A tense few seconds filled the air as Yelena debated, the knife in her hand feeling extremely tempting all of a sudden, but then she nodded.

“You can beat the eggs and add some seasoning if you’d like.”

“Sure, thanks.” A breath of relief washed over Bucky as he got to work, making sure to keep a reasonable amount of physical distance between them.

He glanced over to Steve in the livingroom and flashed a cautious smile. It was too early to attempt any bonding so Bucky decided not to ask her where she’d learned to cook or whether it was a passion of hers—he simply took comfort in working together without bringing down the house. Observing her mannerisms and person for any likeness to either himself or her mother.

Yelena, in turn, tried not to pay him any further mind. His presence hurt in places she didn’t know existed and refused to acknowledge. There was the option to reject him and ask him to leave the kitchen but what good would it do? They were all in this together—this house and this situation. She’d have to make her peace with that one way or another and, truly, she felt too exhausted to fight it.

Instead, she focused on other tasks with Loki hovering as he offered tidbits of information about the cooks on Asgard. It was clear he’d rarely prepared a meal of his own, always waited on by servants.

“Well, your majesty, maybe you could set the table instead, huh.” She shoved a pile of plates and utensils into his hands. “And set out a few glasses?”

Loki pulled a face but agreed without further argument while Yelena checked the oven and dug out the bread basket. “Ever made garlic butter before?” she asked Bucky without looking up from her work.

“I have. Do you want me to...?”

“Please.”

A simple request he felt more than happy to meet and it provided plenty of distraction while having a calming effect on his mind. Perhaps that’s why Yelena had chosen to take this task on in the first place—preparing a meal far too lavish for any ordinary lunch because it kept her busy and away from thinking about anything else.

Maybe that was the first, positive thing they had in common. Physical likeness aside.

By the time the pasta carbonara, fresh bread, and garlic butter was served, Tony had finally arrived to bring his news. They were all eager to hear it but first he stopped by the bathroom to wash the sweat and sooth from his face.

“I received the files you sent but I’m not sure what we’re looking at…” said Natasha when Tony sat down and started sprinkling extra parmesan over his pasta. “Sabotage?”

“Yep, courtesy of Agent Mike Fellows, or rather someone using Fellows’ credentials and passcodes. The real Mike Fellows is supposed to be on his honeymoon, although, according to several calls made by his in laws, Fellows and his partner never actually made it to Hawaii.”

Tony cracked open a can of beer. “I had Friday trace Fellows’ activities from the past weeks, nothing out of the ordinary, other than the fact he went from being a tall, blond fella to a much smaller, dark haired man just one day after boarding a plane to Kahului Airport.”

“So someone captured Mike and presumably his partner, and stole his identity to gain access to the compound?” Steve surmised.

“Exactly. Uploaded a nasty little virus into the systems, a sleeper which escaped Fridays’ notice. At 9am this morning, it triggered an explosion in our experimental weapons facility that… well, you’ve all seen the result.”

As she struggled, with a studious expression, to get the noodles wrapped around her fork using only one hand, Yelena asked, “I don’t suppose he left a manifesto of sorts? A declaration, a name, a reason why?”

“Haven’t found anything yet but Friday is still working to decrypt the code used for this virus. Maybe we’ll find a trademark of sorts.” Tony leaned back in his chair, deciding he’d had enough to eat after just two bites.

Fidgeting with his watch, a restless foot tapping on the floor. It wasn’t in his nature to sit idle while a new threat lurked around the corner. “Can we count on Thor?” he asked Loki.

“Am I not enough?” Loki pretended to be insulted.

“Can we?”

“I am not my brother’s keeper, but I am sure he will be more than eager to aid your quest.”

Yelena glanced to her left and flashed him a smile. “You will too though, right?”

“I could be persuaded to fight at your side.”

“Uh huh. Don’t forget, they tried to blow you up too.”

“A fair point. I will travel for Asgard after dinner.”

“I should inform Sam and the others to be cautious. Whoever targeted the compound may come for them too.” Steve took his phone and excused himself but not before Tony informed him and everyone else of his shaky deal with Ross.

“Let them know they can return home if they want to—I managed to secure temporary immunity for all of us pending new negotiations regarding the Accords.”

“What? How?” Bruce had a face of disbelief.

“Doesn’t matter. Oh, and Cap, keep your buddy T’Challa close. We’ll need him to vote in our favor which, given his extra curricular activities prowling the jungles, I’m sure is in his best interest too.”

“Right. Sure, okay?” Steve wasn’t sure the sort of strings Tony had pulled but he didn’t care either. Not today. “Thanks.” He nodded before heading downstairs for a secure line.

“Is there anything I can do?” Bucky asked with a hint of uncertainty, knowing his presence wasn’t appreciated by all, and Tony was quick to throw in a jab.

“Yeah. Be on the right side of the fight this time.”

The immediate guilt-ridden look Bucky carried didn’t escape Yelena’s notice but she couldn’t bring herself to feel sorry for him, even if empathy lurked too close beneath the surface of her skin. It hadn’t been that long ago since she herself had been in his position—mistrusted and with quite the rap sheet—but at least she’d received Natasha’s support then.

No one spoke up for Bucky without Steve around.

“You can count on me.” Bucky kept his head held high. “I can’t undo the things I’ve done in the past but—”

“Nope, I’m not ready for that conversation, not one bit,” Tony held up a hand and interrupted. “Just be there to do what needs to be done. Try to have our backs instead of stabbing—”

“Tony, that’s enough,” Natasha admonished and set her glass of wine down. “We have quite a few new faces here, some more trustworthy than others…” Her eyes fell on Loki for a split second. “Let’s give them all a chance to prove their worth, alright?”

“I’m not trustworthy?” Loki raised a brow but his lips curled into a smirk. “My, what a novel sentiment.”

“Shall we get back to the things that matter?” Yelena suggested. “Tony, when will you know more?”

“Not until morning. I’ve never seen coding like this before so it will take Friday a couple of hours, half a day at most,” he said.

“In that case, I shall be off to inform my brother.” Loki put his utensils down and wiped the corners of his mouth with a napkin before grinning at Yelena. “Unless I am expected to assist with the washing of dishes as well?”

“No but, do you really have to go?” She didn’t like the idea of him leaving—he was the only one she trusted right now and felt comfortable with.

“I’m afraid your technology does not allow for cross-realm phone calls.”

“Can’t that watcher guy send a message? Or maybe he saw what happened and Thor already knows.”

“Perhaps, but it is best I go see my brother in person and take care of a few matters while I’m there.”

“Oh.” Not thinking twice, she asked for the impossible, “Can I come with you?”

“It’s forbidden,” said Loki.

“But Bruce…”

“Was an exception born out of necessity.” He reached out under the table and gently squeezed her knee. Leaning in to whisper, “Do not seek to escape your problems. Face them. I promise I will return.”

Yelena merely nodded and tried to swallow her disappointment. He was right, of course—she did feel the urge to run away from all the turmoil but that wouldn’t do any good.

She watched him leave, staring out onto the lawn even after the rainbow hued beam had vanished from sight, taking Loki with it. Longing beating in her heart—how nice it must be to just disappear in that way.

“Have you told Rhodey yet?” Natasha took a sip of her wine and sunk back in her chair, her eyes on Tony.

“I have and he’s safe in Washington still.”

“Good. I’ll send word to Clint and Scott as well, apprise them of the situation and Ross’... unexpected change of heart?”

Tony flashed a smirk. “Go ahead. I promise, soon we’ll be back to the team we used to be. No more strings and cages. I should have done this from the start…” He thought of the pressure he’d put on Ross and felt confident.

“What about me?” Concerns weighed on Yelena’s mind. “With my history, where I come from… I don’t even have any papers, no birth record.”

“You do, I’ve already taken care of that. On paper, you’re Yelena Aliana Petrova—a twenty-four year old Boston resident whose powers are the result of and accident with cryo experimentation at the lab where you used to work to pay for college.”

Yelena stared at him, completely stunned. “How’d you pull that off?”

“Oh, it had been too long since I hacked the government’s files, needed to see if I could still pull it off,” Tony explained most casually and he got up to fetch something from his bags.

He tossed a brand new passport onto the table. “Welcome to America and the team.”

“Conditions?”

“Same as your employment. Behave, work hard, do your job. If you step out of line, I’ll personally lock you away inside the Raft.”

She smiled, rubbing a thumb over the navy blue texture and imprinted crest on the official document. “Yes sir. Thank you.”

* * *

The rest of the day passed by quietly. Too quietly for all because each and every single one of them ached to get to the bottom of this new threat. Find those responsible for the deaths of their employees, and the destruction of their base and home.

After lunch, Natasha and Bruce had taken it upon themselves to dig through the personnel files so they could contact the victim’s next of kin with their condolences. Tony hid in the basement trying his hardest to hasten Friday’s analysis of the virus’ coding, and Yelena did her best to assist him. Choosing Tony as her preferred company in the absence of Loki.

Their attempts to decrypt the virus passed the hours and on through the night but by morning, Tony still lacked answers.

“I hate this,” he fumed in frustration while pouring another cup of coffee. “Each time she comes close to deciphering the code, something trips up her programming and I’m back to square one.”

“Could it be the code was written in a language Friday doesn’t recognize?” Yelena suggested.

“That’s not possible.”

“Can I take another look?”

Tony raised a brow. “What do you know about coding?”

“Not much but maybe that’ll help me recognize a pattern among the many… squiggles and things I don’t understand. We’re looking for a signature, right?”

Not entirely convinced, but seeing no harm in it either, Tony offered her his seat. “Have at it. I’m going to grab some breakfast, want anything?”

“Just cereal,” Yelena mumbled, already half lost in her work.

It was true she knew little of computer science—her Hydra training had been focused on combat, infiltration, and deception—but there was something about the lines of text on the screen that sunk its claws into her mind and wouldn’t let up. A gnawing feeling of familiarity, things seen before. She just couldn’t remember where.

Finding a notepad and pen, she scribbled down every symbol that spoke of something she ought to know and made note of their pattern. Creating a puzzle she’d not let go until it was solved but Tony’s voice calling out from the kitchen ripped her from her concentration.

“What is it?” Yelena asked, slightly out of breath after rushing up the stairs.

“A break out at the Bunker,” Tony informed her and the other four who’d gathered.

“The bunker?”

“Our secondary detention facility for high risk prisoners, similar to the Raft but for those without powers.”

“How did that happen?” Natasha failed to suppress her concern, knowing exactly the sort of people kept locked away at that particular facility.

“There was a flood on one of the lower levels and during the evacuation, several prisoners escaped. Seventeen former Hydra operatives and…” Tony released a heavy sigh. “Zemo.”

The mere mention of Hydra put Yelena on edge and, glancing in Bucky’s direction, she noticed his jaw stiffen. Even Steve looked ill at ease though, as it turned out, not for the reasons Yelena assumed.

“But that’s not all,” he said.

Already aware of Tony’s news, and having informed him privately of a third issue, Steve relayed to the group, “I just got a call from Wanda. Vision left to return home yesterday but hasn’t been heard from since. We can’t find him anywhere and his communications are unresponsive.”

“Fuck,” Natasha cursed under her breath. “First the compound and now this?”

“It’s getting worse by the minute so we can’t waste time,” Tony decided. “Steve, Nat, you two head out to meet up with Sam and Wanda. See if you can retrace Vision’s steps and find out what happened.

“I’ll give Rhodey a call and meet up with him at the Bunker.”

“What about the rest of us?” asked Bruce.

“You’re staying here to keep an eye on Frosty and Barnes.”

“Uhhh.” Not liking that idea one bit, Yelena argued, “You can’t be serious. Let me come with you instead of—”

“Seventeen Hydra operatives just escaped and considering your past, you could be a target,” Tony pointed out to her dismay. “Both of you. It’s best you keep hidden with someone to protect you. Now, Banner may not look like much—”

“Thanks,” sulked Bruce.

“—But the big guy will keep you safe so you will stay here. Continue working with Friday and try to remain indoors, just until we know what we’re dealing with.”

Leaving no room for further disagreement, Tony activated his suit. “Get moving, folks. Three major incidents in the past twenty-four hours can’t be a coincidence so let’s get to the bottom of this, fast.”


	18. The Signs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little update, hope you enjoy.

**— 18: The Signs —**

A rare, bright winter sun shone down across the mobile prison encampment afloat in the waters down below, and Tony could see Rhodes approach in the distance. Their suits making a landing at the Bunker’s main gate at the same time, touching down amidst several units of special forces as gentle waves brushed against the platform.

“I didn’t expect us to meet again so soon.” Secretary Ross shook Tony’s hand for the sake of common decency and escorted the pair inside.

“And I didn’t expect you to have need of my assistance so soon. Good thing we’ve agreed to amend the deal, isn’t it?” Tony couldn’t resist the opportunity for a jab but Ross ignored it.

“We’ve tripled security at the Raft facility and restrained all occupants within their cells. So far, there’s been no sign of trouble but we can’t take the risk.”

“Smart thinking,” noted Rhodes. “How did this happen?”

They turned various corners until they reached the main security hub where Ross urged his men to give them some privacy. “At 8am this morning, while most detainees had gathered for breakfast, an explosion erupted on sub-level seven. Blasted a hole in the exterior foundation that started a flood.

“Guards followed standard protocol, began making evacuations to the higher levels and called for support but with so many detainees roaming the mess hall freely, they were quickly overwhelmed.”

Ross indicated at the security feed which replayed the events. The explosion seen down the end of a hallway, prisoners running amok and beating down the guards. One man, who’d covered his face with his t-shirt, making a hailing salute at the security cameras before rushing toward the exterior wall that had been blown wide open. Taking a deep dive into the waters flooding in and followed by several other prisoners.

“Do you have the footage for the outside and underwater parameters?” asked Tony.

“No. We’re supposed to but…” Ross skipped a few seconds ahead on the feed they were watching and pointed at another masked figure ducking into the security office. “We suspect he deleted anything that might give us a clue. Although…”

He paused the replay and pulled a handkerchief from his pocket. Folding back the fabric to reveal a coin. “Once my men took back control of the facility and sealed the breach, they found this on the desk here. I don’t know whether it belongs to one of the detainees, my own men, or if it was deliberately left behind but it looks… familiar.”

A chill coursed down Tony’s spine when he inspected the coin. Heavy and double-headed, with the silhouette of a face and several coiling snakes at both sides.

“Mm, familiar but not… I mean, unless they’re rebranding,” he mused.

Looking over his shoulder, Rhodes frowned. “Hydra?”

“Close but not quite. These snakes coil upward around the face, and the face itself has more definition than their usual skull-symbol does. Almost feminine.”

Tony pocketed the coin. “Still, it could be a lead so I’ll investigate further. What else can you tell us, where was Zemo when this happened?”

“Alone in his cell, eating breakfast,” said Ross. “He doesn’t socialize—he hates Hydra almost as much as he hates you—and calmly followed the guards who came to evacuate him but they were set upon by the others. Zemo disappeared in the scuffle.”

“He knows a lot about the organization,” Rhodes recalled the vast amount of research Zemo had done. “And if he avoided them in here, we need to consider he was taken against his will. Possibly by the same people who took—”

“Pleasure in blowing up the compound, yes,” Tony was quick to interrupt, not wanting Ross to find out about Vision’s disappearance. “I have no doubt these incidents are connected, but who would want to gather an army of former Hydra operatives?”

“Someone looking to revive the organization, perhaps under a different name? Using a modified signature?”

“So it would seem…” Tony nodded before he turned his attention back to Ross. He quite firmly and deliberately stuffed the handkerchief back into Ross’ palm and closed the man’s fingers around it in a peculiar gesture. “Do you have any idea what triggered the explosion?” he asked.

“Remote detonate charges. My men found several shattered fragment pieces floating in the water.”

“Have them brought to me, I’d like to see for myself and determine what materials they used. Might give us another clue.”

“Right,” Ross agreed and stepped outside but he returned moments later with a small evidence bag. “Where is the rest of your team…?”

“At a secure location running investigations of their own.” There was no trusting the Secretary so the bare minimum was all Tony would give him. “Are there any former Hydra operatives still imprisoned at this facility?”

“No. Those we had are all the ones who escaped.”

“Hrm. Okay. I’ll be in touch when we know more.”

Ross’ face soured slightly—he didn’t appreciate the constant dismissals. “Will you though?”

“As long as you keep your end of the bargain,” said Tony. “Good day, Secretary.”

Together with Rhodes, he headed back toward the entrance but spoke of nothing until they were far enough away from the Bunker.

“Placed a nanite tracker on his watch, didn’t you? When you handed that handkerchief over?” asked Rhodes once they made it to the skies.

“You saw that, huh? The last time Hydra made a power play, they had several government officials in their pocket. Can’t be sure it’s them now but we can’t rule it out either, and Ross is dirty enough that he’d play both sides.”

“Not to mention he has plenty of motive, especially with the pressure you’ve put on him.”

“If he’s involved then he has been since before I pressured him about the Accords, but it’s no secret he can’t stand us unless we serve as his puppets.”

Tony altered the coordinates in his suit’s navigation system. “Let’s revisit the compound grounds, I want to see if there is a coin somewhere under the debris there that I’ve missed the first time.”

* * *

The library on Asgard with its marbled floors, painted ceilings, and golden columns was one of Loki’s favorite places to visit. Hundreds of thousands of years worth of books lined the walls, top to bottom, and decorated the columns. Bay windows transformed into comfortable reading nooks and right next to the library, a small conservatory where one could study and practice the mystical arts.

Thor should have known he’d find his brother there.

“Ah, there you are, brother,” he said when he saw Loki emerge with a pile of books in his arms. “Preparing for some light reading in my absence?”

“_Your _ absence? Am I not returning to Midgard with you?” Loki asked and with a slight of hand, tucked a volume—pertaining to the history and legends surrounding the Jotun—in between the other books he carried.

“Of course not! One of us has to remain here to oversee the palace’s reconstruction and ensure our stocks are replenished for the season. Protect the realm in my absence.”

Thor made it sound so simple and obvious, but Loki’s expression dropped for a fraction of a second before it became replaced with casual stoicism. “I had made a promise to return.”

“To who?”

“To the girl.”

“I thought you said her training had been completed.”

“No. I said our training sessions have been successful, not completed,” sniped Loki, aggravated that his brother only ever half listened.

“Oh. Well, how far did you get?” Quickening his pace, Thor followed as Loki marched toward his chambers.

“The basics. She’s learned to control and summon her gift at will but we haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of what she’s truly capable of.”

“I’m sure that can wait, she’s got the most important part down, right?”

Loki materialized a leather pack and tucked the books inside. “I wouldn’t like to renege on my promise.”

“Since when?” Thor snorted and patted his brother on the back. “She’ll understand, I’m cer—”

“Since now. Can’t someone else oversee matters here?”

“You’re honestly turning down the opportunity to rule in my absence?” The first real hint of concern settled in Thor’s gut. “Why?”

“I told you—I made a promise and don’t act so surprised. Wasn’t it you who encouraged this improved behavior of mine, dear brother? Wouldn’t a breaking of my word return me to a liar?”

“Uhh… I guess? But we can’t just leave Asgard unguarded.”

“What about Valkyrie? She’s a warrior and sworn protector.”

It seemed Loki had all the answers, and that much Thor was used to, but what stunned him was the insistence to return to Midgard. Not long ago, it had taken Thor tremendous effort convincing Loki to revisit the planet at all. Now, it appeared he could not stand to be gone from it for long, further evidenced by the fact he was already packing.

When Thor spotted something with silver-white, velvet petals in Loki’s pack, he asked, “What does she mean to you?”

“She?” The raven-haired god feigned innocence.

“Yelena.”

“Who says she means anything to me? Though I will admit, as far as mortals go, she’s tolerable.”

“Then what’s with the snjórósa?”

Calm and carefully, Loki pulled a long, black box holding the silver rose from his bag. “This? It is a Midgardian custom that a tutor rewards their best student for the progress they have made. Although traditionally, I believe they use gold stars, but I can’t very well pluck one of those out of the sky.”

“Loki… be honest.” Thor didn’t buy into his excuse for a second. “You know the rarity of that rose and its meaning.”

“Fine.” Loki shoved the black, shimmering box into Thor’s hands. “If you’re going to make such a fuss, take it. It was only intended as an encouraging gesture.”

“That’s not…” Thor sighed and closed the box before placing it back inside the leather pack. “Do you recall what you said to me when we brought Jane to the dark world all those years ago?”

“Oh please, brother. I’m hardly so interested in the girl and you know how I feel about mortals.” Taking a step back, Loki averted his eyes and swallowed hard. “But if you are so concerned, I will remain here and safeguard our home in your absence.”

“What about your promise?”

“You can tell her that which everyone else already knows.” There was a quiver in his voice. “That I am the god of lies and cannot be trusted.”

“Brother…”

“Please excuse me. I should go and meet with the council to discuss rations for the cold season.”

Before Thor could raise another word on the subject, Loki had already pushed past him and stormed from his own chambers. Leaving a chilling air in his wake and leaving Thor to debate whether he’d pushed too hard for something his brother clearly wasn’t ready to discuss, at least not with him.

* * *

Though she tried, there was no hiding the sadness and concern in Wanda’s eyes when she fell into Steve’s embrace. He gently patted her back, then relinquished her into Natasha’s arms while he shook hands with Sam and asked for any news they might have.

“There’s been no word. He left under the cover of night and promised to check in every two hours but never did so all we know is he disappeared between 10pm and midnight,” said Sam.

“Even though Vis signed the Accords, we still took every precaution. He had his tracker active when he left but the signal died just ten miles south-east of here. We looked, there is nothing,” Wanda added as she handed over the readout for Vision’s tracker.

“Just outside of Sligo…” Natasha double-checked the map and coordinates. “I suggest we start there, can’t hurt to take a second look.”

All four of them piled into the quinjet, flying low beneath the Irish sky, and minutes later touched down by a clearing in Hazelwood Forest. Searching through tall grass, muddied soil, and around willows and birches.

“We spent hours yesterday—” Sam began but Steve held up a hand and indicated at a set of boot prints left in the mud.

Over the course of the night, they’d frozen over, leaving a trail that led deeper into the woods. Further away from Vision’s last known location and Steve couldn’t be certain he was on the right track until he came upon a man-made rearrangement of broken tree branches and rocks.

“What do you suppose this is?” Natasha skirted around pattern, careful not to disturb anything.

“It wasn’t here before,” said Wanda. “We looked everywhere within two miles of the signal.”

“I don’t know. The prints belong to a size thirteen, that’s not any of us and it’s not Vision, but it could belong to whoever took him. Perhaps they returned to the scene after you both left.” Steve’s mind was hard at work trying to figure out what could have happened.

“Wanda, can you fly up to get a full view of the pattern? I can’t quite make out what it’s supposed to be.”

She nodded and rose up, high enough that she could see every curve and detail. Using her powers, she wove scarlet threads to recreate and highlight the mark, then took a photo with her phone before reuniting with the others.

“It’s some sort of circle with snakes and a face at its center,” she observed and handed her phone over to Steve.

“Does that mean Hydra?” asked Sam, a deep frown creasing his forehead.

“No. This isn’t the same symbol, unless we’re looking at it upside down.” Curiously, Natasha took the device from Steve and turned it, almost hoping for something familiar.

Better the enemy you know, she figured, but this symbol was nothing like Hydra’s mark she’d seen so many times before.

“Whatever it is, it has to be connected to Vision’s disappearance, right? Why else would someone come all the way out here and go through the effort of leaving this mark?” Sam voiced his thoughts and concerns. “Do you think they’re still in the area, waiting?”

“No, I have a feeling someone’s playing the long game and this is nothing but a breadcrumb…” Steve exchanged a worried glance with Natasha. “Forward that image to Tony and the others, maybe they’ve found something similar.”


	19. Ghosts of the Past

**— 19: Ghosts of the Past —**

The howling winter winds beating against the well-isolated lake house did nothing to break Yelena out of her concentration. Familiar patterns danced before her eyes. Blending together, twisting and turning on their sides, making every bit of sense and yet none at all.

Some part of her mind knew their meaning, of that much she felt certain, but somehow she couldn’t seem to get there. Pages of the notebook at her side were filled with scribbles and drawings, attempts to find the correct arrangement, but all crossed out as wrong.

There was someone who might know. The last person she’d want to talk to and the last person she’d ever ask for help but she was a soldier—they both were. Duty came before personal feelings and it was her duty to find answers. For Tony and the team. For all the dead buried beneath the compound’s remains.

After shuffling her feet up the stairs, Yelena glanced around the living area searching for Bucky. He sat by the window in a modern wingback, sunken low and staring out across the lawn. No doubt feeling as caged in as she did.

Silent seconds stretched into a minute while Yelena stood behind him. Trying to find her voice and the words to speak before she managed a meager, “Hey.”

Bucky heard her but didn’t know her, ripped unexpectedly from his own troubled thoughts, and grabbed her wrist in a fist. In one swift pull, he yanked her across the back of his chair, over his shoulder, and she landed on her ass at his feet. Trapped with the patio door at her back.

“Fucking hell, really?!” Yelena fumed and jumped to her feet. Shifting into a defensive hand-to-hand combat stance immediately but a calm washed over Bucky’s expression as recognition settled.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I… I’m sorry,” he stammered, rather guilt ridden. “Did I hurt you, is your shoulder—”

“I’m fine, you got my good arm, but what the hell?! After everything you’ve already put me through?!”

“I didn’t notice, didn’t mean to. I was…” Bucky fumbled with his words, trying to find a way of explaining but the look in his eyes told Yelena everything she needed to know.

“Reliving the past.”

“Yeah.”

“I see.” Of course she could understand and relate, even if her heart beat out of control from the rush of panic he’d brought on.

She straightened out her sweater and rolled her shoulder once. No pain, just a last remnant of his strength nagging at her muscles. It could have been worse.

“Well, if you have a moment, there’s something I’d like you to look at.” Yelena moved to the sofa and beckoned him to sit down next to her.

With the notebook between them, she told him about the peculiar symbols she’d found embedded within the virus’ coding and how they held a familiarity she couldn’t place.

“It feels as though I’ve seen them before and if I have, it was likely during my time with Hydra. If that’s the case, you’re the only other person here who might recognize them,” she said.

Nodding, Bucky took the notebook for a closer inspection and his thumb brushed her fingers in the process. She withdrew her hand immediately, unable to keep her instinctive reaction to him suppressed, but tried to keep a forced smile on her face.

“I’m not sure how much help I can be. They kept me under lock and key for most of the time, and anytime they sent me on a mission I was only given names and a location. I never knew…”

Words failed him a second time. He wanted to apologize because he didn’t believe he could give Yelena the answers she needed but somewhere along the way, he found himself wanting to tell her something else entirely. A thing he feared she might not want to hear but it mattered to him that she know.

Yelena arched a brow at his sudden silence. “Never knew… what? Anything more about their operations?”

“No. Yes, some of it, not much, but what I meant to say is that I never knew who you were. When they sent me to Torshavn. I had no idea and never even knew I had a daughter.”

“Oh… that.” Uneasy as she debated her own response, she fidgeted with her sleeve and the fabric of her sling. “I kinda figured, based on the things my mother told me but, would it have made a difference? You, or rather the soldier…”

“No, I—_he_ wouldn't have cared,” Bucky loathed to admit and caught her flinching momentarily. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“Right, you shouldn’t have because there is nothing to say. I know what happened, you know what happened, but we can’t turn back time and no amount of talking about it will change a thing. There’s only living with it.”

Bucky lowered his eyes and traced a thumb over the pages he held. Of course she was right—the past couldn’t be changed and they knew it better than most. Burdened by pain, regrets, and a darkness that was forever carved into their flesh and bones.

“So, does any of it look familiar?” asked Yelena with a glance at the notebook.

“Actually… yes.” Another study of the symbols instilled Bucky with the same sense of recognition Yelena had felt. “But it’s not anything I picked up at Hydra.”

He pulled the pen clipped to the back of the notebook free and started his own series of scribbles. Fitting several of the symbols together to create brand new ones, yet ancient and with meaning.

“Glagolitic script…” gasped Yelena once he’d finished and everything fell into place. “Isn’t it?”

“It has to be, it’s the only way these symbols make sense.”

Daring to show his face now that they’d moved on from discussing personal matters, Bruce took up a seat opposite the pair and asked, “Glagolitic script?”

“Oldest known Slavic alphabet,” said Yelena, “dating back to… the ninth century I believe?”

Bucky nodded. “I’ve seen it before while traveling through Bulgaria and Romania, mostly inside churches. What about you?” he asked Yelena.

“Hydra.” Her expression grew pained with the memories that surfaced. “Shortly after they brought me back to Germany, I was introduced to their latest asset. An engineer, specializing in biochemistry and computer science, who’d eagerly joined the organization.

“At one point, he developed dampening restraints specifically for anyone with enhanced DNA but needed a test subject and since I was available and in need of an attitude adjustment…”

Yelena decided to restrict her story to the facts that mattered. “Well, it wasn’t pleasant but during the long hours he’d talk a lot too. Always blathering about the infallible beauty of the ancient languages. Glagolitic script was a favorite.”

“Could he be responsible for the explosion?” asked Bruce.

“Yes, and no. The virus could easily be his but infiltrating the compound? No. He’s your typical follower, not a leader, and that’s assuming he’s alive and free. But, whoever’s pulling his strings—”

She was interrupted by a strong gust of wind that hammered against the patio doors right before they flew open to welcome a new arrival. A stranger in Yelena’s eyes and startled, she jumped to her feet. Weaving a portion of her powers to encase the stranger in a block of ice, from his heavy boots up to the waist of the odd cuirass he wore. She was about to blast him a second time when Bruce rushed from his seat and got in between.

“Wait! Stop!” he urged and held up both hands in calming gesture. “This is Thor, he’s a friendly.”

“Thor?” Bucky raised a brow.

“Oh crap,” muttered Yelena, only vaguely recognizing the man from old news footage and Loki’s stories. She flashed a sheepish grin. “Sorry…”

Thor couldn’t help but laugh as he brushed her apology off. “It’s fine, although I’m starting to lose sensation in my toes so if you could undo—”

“Yeah, about that… I uh, haven’t learned yet how to, but I could use my fists I guess.” She was about to approach but Bucky beat her to it.

Meaning well and wanting to help her out as he used the force of his metal arm to shatter the block of ice in various places. “There.”

“Thanks,” said Thor, shaking the smaller, already melting chunks from his boot before he told Yelena, “Nice to see you up and about. Last time I was here we didn’t actually get to meet.”

“Right. Nice to meet you…” She glanced past him, searching, and furrowed her brows. “Where’s Loki?”

“I asked him to stay on Asgard and look after the realm in my absence,” Thor told her the truth rather than the resentful line his brother had given him.

Watching closely as Yelena’s expression fell but for a second, quite in the same way Loki’s had, before she forced a stiff smile. “Ah. Makes sense. Well, in that case, I’m going downstairs to work on translating the symbols. No point wasting time on speculation until we know what they say. Inform me when you hear from the others.”

She made a hasty exit and rushed down the stairs, back to Tony’s lab. Internally spewing a few choice words regarding the blond God who’d turned up without bringing the brother she preferred.

“Packs a bit of a punch, doesn’t she?” said Thor once Yelena had gone and he clapped Bruce on the shoulder. “Good to see you again, my friend.”

“You too and, can you blame her? That’s what happens when you barge in without knocking after everything we’ve just been through.” Bruce laughed.

“Yeah, my mistake. Why don’t you fill me in? Seems every time I leave, uhm… how do you guys say it? Shit hits the ceiling.”

Bucky flashed a rare smile. “The fan.”

“Right, yes, the fan so that it goes everywhere. Nasty business. And you’re… Rogers’ friend and the girl's father, right?”

“Uhhh, just Bucky will do. Probably best not to mention the father thing.”

“Of course. Fathers can be complicated creatures.” Thor beamed a smirk but seeing the look on Bucky’s face, he quickly added, “And children can be too, I imagine. Loki was a difficult child.”

“I’m sure Odin would have said the same about you,” Bruce jested. “Have a seat and I’ll tell you everything you’ve missed out on.”

* * *

A chill, so harrowing it could rival the winters in Siberia, coursed down Yelena’s spine as the name she’d not thought about in years flashed before her eyes. Bringing to life memories she’d ignored and buried deep. Further ghosts from the past she’d never expected to face again.

She recalled the scent of the pages of a book. Fairy tales for children and one of the few joys during the early years of her captivity. A woman with long, blonde locks and emerald green eyes, and a smile that had warmed her lonely heart once upon a time when she’d still been foolish enough to crave the love and care of a parent.

The memories brought anguished tears to her eyes and she soon became so lost, reliving the last cruel years before being frozen in carbonite, that she didn’t hear Bucky approach.

“You never made it upstairs for dinner. Did you finish the translation?”

Unlike him, she didn’t flinch or lash out at his unexpected presence, the urge to pull her walls back into place and dry her eyes swiftly too strong.

“I did.” Yelena kept her voice even and her attention trained on the monitor.

The name taunted her. Had her seething with rage and crumbling in pain. It clawed at her flesh, left her feeling reviled and dirty, and the voracity of her emotions turned her skin to ice.

Her attempt to hide any sign of distress failed and though he remained careful not to push her boundaries, Bucky pulled out the seat next to hers. Staring at her back and shoulder, his brows furrowed in concern as he read out the name he’d caught listed on the screen.

“Medusa. That means something to you, doesn’t it?”

“Greek mythology. Would have been a nice subject to study had I been able to attend college like a normal person,” Yelena deflected with unconvincing nonchalance.

“Don’t do that. Like it or not, we’re cut from the same cloth and I can tell there’s more to this than you’re saying. If you don’t want to tell me—”

Pursing her lips and swallowing a mildly irritated sigh, she threw him a sideways glance. “No, I don’t want to tell you. I _can’t_ tell you because I blame you for everything I went through after you dragged me back there. After you—_he_ turned me back over to Hydra.

“Right now, I can’t see too far beyond that but I don’t want to sit here and constantly throw my pain onto your shoulders either. As much as I might hate it, I can’t… no, I _shouldn’t_ hold you responsible.”

“You can, if you need to,” Bucky offered and he straightened his back.

Truthfully, there wasn’t a whole lot of blame she could fling in his direction that he didn’t already carry with him and if he could make up for the past by welcoming her anger, that’s what he’d do.

“As you said earlier today, there’s only living with the things that have happened but if I can ease some of the pain you carry by—”

Yelena scoffed. “Don’t be a martyr, please.”

“I’m not. I’m just trying to be—”

“What? A good guy? Team mate? Friend? Father…”

“I thought I’d start out by just being me, or at least some semblance of the guy I used to be before the war. Face the things that have happened and try to do right by those I’ve hurt the most.”

“I don’t think you can, not for the things I’ve been through.” A fresh tear caught on her lower lashes.

“Have you ever talked about them? In detail?”

“To who, and when? It’s not like Hydra had therapists walking around to ensure the wellbeing of their soldiers and captives.”

“A friend. What about Loki?”

“No.”

“It’s helped me a great deal talking to Steve. Doesn’t make the past go away but it’s making it bearable, you know?”

“Steve?” Just the mention of his name had Yelena shaking her head and Bucky jumped to his best friend’s defense.

“Stop that. You don’t know him like I do and I’m not saying he should be the one you open up to about the past but, pick someone. For your own sake.”

Once more Yelena pursed her lips, a quip about unsolicited fatherly advice lingering on her tongue but she swallowed that back too. “I’ll think about it.”

Bucky considered reaching out to offer a touch of comfort but he pulled his hand back at the last second. No, he didn’t see his daughter, only a young woman, but in the past, he would have helped someone like her. He used to care about people and still did so even if he didn’t feel their blood connection, he’d try and be there. If she’d ever let him.

“So, Medusa. Who or what are we talking about?”

“A woman… I’m not sure if it’s her but she was there when I was little. I called her Madame Hydra, others whispered the name Viper. She used to wear a pendant with Medusa’s symbol on it. You know the one, of a woman’s face and coiling snakes where her hair should be?”

“Yeah.”

“Madame once told me how much she admired Medusa and how misunderstood the creature was. That Medusa was a guardian, a protector of her kind, and that our world was in desperate need of such a guardian.”

“Hmm.” Bucky sunk into thought but he failed to connect a potential motive with the recent disasters. “You could argue this world has many guardians today so why would she be coming for us? Assuming this is her.”

“Not everyone sees the Avengers as protectors or even a force of good, the whole Accords business has made that clear.” Yelena spun her chair around to face him fully. “You and I both know different people have different ideas about how to best protect this world.”

Bucky nodded. “Hydra believed their new world order would protect humanity… and this Medusa was or is Hydra, which means…”

“We’d be the problem, not the solution, in her eyes.”

“Then you need to contact Tony and tell him what you’ve uncovered.”

For a split second, Yelena smiled. All their issues aside, his help had been invaluable and she couldn’t claim this as a solo victory. “No, what _we_ have uncovered.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taking some liberties here with Madame Hydra as there have been multiple, different interpretations of her throughout the Marvel world (comics, Shield etc.) so I'm giving her a twist of my own and combining her with an original villain (Medusa) I'd already been working on.


	20. Even The Mighty Can Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies it's taken a while. I won't bore you with the details of life and its obstacles, instead I hope you enjoy the update and will forgive the delay. <3

**— 20: Even The Mighty Can Fall —**

Despite only seeing his friends nearby and having spotted no one else on their trudge through the Hazelwoods, something felt off. Steve could sense it in his bones while they approached the quinjet. Hairs raised on the back of his neck and a nagging in his stomach.

He turned, searching for an unknown presence, a glimpse of anyone lurking behind the trees. Too slow, and something whizzed past his ear. It missed but the second dart hit and embedded itself in his jugular where it began pumping a strange substance into his bloodstream.

“We’ve got company!” Steve called out as he pulled the dart from his skin and pocketed it for later inspection. “Sam, Wanda, see if you can spot anyone from above. Nat, with me!”

Pain ignited in his muscles and burned beneath his skin. Pulling tighter and causing Steve to grit his teeth, bringing him down to his knees as Natasha rushed to his side.

“Steve, what is it?” Concerned, she draped his arm over her shoulder and offered support.

“Some kind of drug or poison, I’m not sure but…” He gripped onto her and winced, “my body’s shutting down, I’m losing strength.”

It felt as though his nerves had caught fire. His chest tightened and his heart began to race while an increased need for oxygen left him to wheeze, gasp, and cough.

“Then we need to get out of here,” Natasha decided after taking in his words and the ashen look on his face. “Sam!”

A winged shadow circled above the pair before Sam Wilson’s boots touched the ground. Brows knitted together above the rim of his goggles. “We’ve found no one.”

“That doesn’t matter now, Cap’s been hit with something, we need to get him to the jet.”

“Do you know what this guy weighs?”

“Sam…” Just trying to speak cost Steve more energy than he possessed and beads of sweat pearled on his forehead.

“I’ve got him,” Wanda called out over their comms, having listened in to every word. “You two get to the jet and contact Tony.”

It took every bit of focus she could muster but scarlet wisps traveled from Wanda’s fingers to engulf Steve’s body. Embracing him with her telekinetic powers, easing him from the ground. She levitated his body toward the ship and by the time she got him strapped into a seat, Steve had lost consciousness.

“What’s wrong with him?” Sam knelt by Wanda’s side as she used a medical scanner to record Steve’s vitals.

“I-I don’t know. According to this thing—” She waved about the handheld device created by Tony and Bruce— “he’s spiking a fever but there are also signs of heart problems and a list of potential diagnoses suggests he might be suffering from an asthma attack.”

“Him? Cap’s the healthiest guy I know. Isn’t it impossible for him to get sick because of the serum?”

“It should be,” said Natasha with a brief glance over her shoulder as she piloted the jet.

Fear crept into her heart when she saw Steve’s rapidly declining state. The circles around his eyes, sunken cheeks defining his bones underneath an unhealthy, paled skin. He looked frail, weak, almost smaller than she’d ever seen him before and Natasha closed her eyes.

No time to think about what could be happening to him or what and who could have done this. There was nothing to do now but to fly back to their base at the highest possible speed and hope Bruce would be able to help their friend.

* * *

“So can the sling come off now?” asked Yelena when Bruce finished checking up on her injuries. The lacerations had healed and so had her bruises but her shoulder was still in fragile condition.

“Tomorrow, if you're lucky.”

“Today after lunch?”

Bruce shook his head and smiled. “Are you really trying to haggle over your recovery?”

“Maybe. I just, I feel so useless sitting here, waiting, doing nothing. So much more aware of this stupid thing trapping my arm. Trapping _me_.”

“Too many unwelcome moments with your own thoughts,” Bruce added, knowing the feeling all too well.

“Is that why you’re always working on one thing or another?”

“Keeps my mind busy, keeps me focused, keeps me in control.”

“Got anything for me to do?”

“If you want you could take inventory of—” As Bruce indicated at the cabinets, Tony barged into the examination room.

His expression grave and cheeks flustered. “Get this place cleaned up and ready, we’ve got incoming. Cap’s been hit with something and he’s in bad shape.”

“Cap?” Yelena’s brows furrowed. “Isn’t he basically invincible?”

“No,” snapped Tony as he browsed the initial medical report Wanda had forwarded to his tablet. “He’s got a fever, difficulty breathing, arrhythmia, lost consciousness before they even boarded the jet.”

“That’s a whole package of bad,” said Bruce while he disposed of the used bandages and prepared for Steve’s arrival. Digging through the cupboards for anything he might need and laying out an array of equipment for medical tests. “Steve hasn’t been sick since…”

“Ever. Well, since the serum.”

“I’ll pull up his old records.”

“Does uh… Have you told, you know…” Yelena asked with her index finger pointed upstairs.

“No,” said Tony.

“Then I will. I mean, it’s Steve, he should know.”

“Lena—” Bruce stopped her on the way out— “Keep him upstairs. If Steve really is in such a bad shape then I can’t be dealing with ruckus down here, you understand?”

“Yeah, I got it.”

The quinjet landed outside as Yelena rushed upstairs to inform Bucky, and do what she could to keep him calm. Not the easiest task but with Sam’s help, and Thor’s threat of knocking him out should he need to, Bucky relented eventually. Marching outside to draw in some much needed fresh air and hating the hour that dragged on while they waited for news, good or bad.

“Stop staring,” Wanda hissed when she caught Sam repeatedly looking back and forth between Bucky and Yelena.

Sam tilted and shook his head, sitting back with his arms crossed over his chest. “I can’t help it. I know what Nat told us but…”

“I know.”

“They’re almost more like siblings or something, not father and daughter. Like aren’t they kinda close to the same age?”

“In a sense. This is what’s on your mind right now?”

“Can’t think about the other stuff. Cap’s…”

Wanda merely closed her eyes and nodded. They all shared the same concerns but no one wanted to broach the subject, not until there was any news. Not until they knew more, and knew whether to grieve or breathe a sigh of relief.

“So, do you have any other powers besides that frosty trick you pulled?” Thor asked Yelena when she handed him a beer.

She shrugged. “Super strength. Not as strong as Steve but probably strong enough to bruise you.”

“Ouch.” A meager grin curled Thor’s lips and he recalled how eager she’d been to escape his presence when he’d first arrived. “You don’t like me very much, do you?”

“I don’t know you.”

“Loki hasn’t mentioned me?”

“He has, doesn’t mean I know you, and you don’t know me. There’s no hidden meaning to my mention of bruising you, only that you’re not easy to dent.” Yelena forced a polite smile and stepped away.

Looking for anywhere else to turn but the sofa was occupied by two strangers who kept staring in her direction, and Thor lingered against the kitchen island. The others were downstairs tending to Steve and the patio had Bucky pacing.

If she were an uncomplicated person she’d go out there and offer him words of comfort, a kind touch. Something to soothe his worries and her own, but would he even accept as much? She’d noticed too how alike they were and were the roles reversed, she’d find comfort only in solitude.

Heavy footfalls trudging up the stairs broke her train of thought, and when she saw Natasha and Tony appear, Yelena rapped her knuckles against the window to call Bucky inside.

“He’s stable for now,” were the first words Tony shared, understanding the biggest concern in everyone’s mind. “We’re treating his various symptoms and while there is no significant improvement in his condition, it hasn’t gotten worse either.”

“Do you know what caused this?” asked Wanda.

“No, but when we moved him onto the examination table, a dart fell from his pocket. It carries traces of the same unknown substance Bruce found coursing through Steve’s veins, he’s analyzing it right now.”

“It’s got to be some kind of virus designed to counter the super soldier serum,” Natasha theorized as she replayed everything in her mind. “He lost his strength, became sick, showed signs of asthma. He used to be asthmatic as a kid, right?”

Her eyes met Bucky’s and the latter nodded. “There were more than a dozen reasons why the army wouldn’t take him, his asthma was only one of them.”

“But is that even possible? A way to counter the effects of the serum? Surely Bruce would have discovered it already, he does nothing but research all this… whatever, mutation, mumbo jumbo, serum stuff,” Sam argued but Yelena tuned him out.

A chill ran down her spine as the only logical conclusion formed in her mind and drew a straight line into her past. Back to the people who’d sought to suppress her gifts, once upon a time. The ones she suspected were responsible for the recent attacks and Vision’s disappearance.

“It is possible, if this is them,” she uttered, her voice quiet and hesitant but Tony heard.

“Them, who?”

“The symbol in the woods and on the coin. The name embedded in the virus’ coding—_Medusa_.” Yelena turned around and faced Bucky. “Remember what I told you, how they were looking for ways to dampen my powers?”

“But you said they used restraints, as in cuffs and other implements or did you mean…”

“They did, but what if they’ve spent all these past years in hiding perfecting their method? Taking it to the next level?”

“Okay, hold up.” Tony wedged himself between the two and narrowed his eyes on Yelena. “Seems we’ve missed something here. Who or what is Medusa and what do you know?”

Yelena swallowed back a sigh. She’d have to open up now, not for her own sake but because the answers concerning Steve’s current condition could be rooted in her past.

“You’d best call Bruce up here as well, I’ll only go over this once.”


	21. Time to Tell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Referenced sexual abuse, no graphic detail.
> 
> The chapter's a bit long, or wordy at least. Quite a bit of monologue which seemed unavoidable with Yelena opening up about her past, but I did try and break it up here and there best as I could.

**— 21: Time to Tell —**

“I wasn’t exactly obedient or cooperative after they killed my mother and brought me back to the facility…” Yelena began.

She sat down and took care to avoid making eye contact with those surrounding so she could prepare to tell the whole story. More than the summary she’d offered weeks earlier.

The advice Bucky had given sat fresh in her mind and perhaps there could be a benefit to sharing. Of course, she could have done so one on one with whomever of her choosing but telling the whole group at once, she figured, would spare her from having to rehash each detail again in the future.

“During my second week there, a woman visited. She must have been in her early twenties. Beautiful. Long, blonde hair and these intense green eyes. I would have believed it if she’d claimed to be a fairytale princess or wood nymph.” She felt foolish recounting the child-like admiration she’d once held for Medusa.

“Despite my circumstances, or perhaps because of them, I took a liking to her instantly. She acted as though she truly cared about me. Bathed me, brought me clean clothes. Brushed and braided my hair, held me and read to me from storybooks. Stuff my mother used to do and it was comforting, I felt safe with her. My only friend in a dank, underground facility filled with men and military forces.”

A green shimmer danced in Yelena’s peripheral vision and though he could not be seen, she felt Loki’s presence near her. Listening, watching, and she almost smiled realizing he had kept his promise, in his own way.

“She didn’t live there but she would visit often. Share meals with me, read to me, assist with any assignments I’d been given. Never gave me a name so I called her Madam Hydra, a title that should have reminded me always of who she was and worked for but I failed to keep my guard up around her.”

Natasha touched her shoulder briefly. “You were a child.”

“Yes, well…” Kind words but any sign of sympathy might break her before she ever got to the most important, and worst, parts so Yelena shrugged them off.

“She was my friend, or so I believed. The education and training Hydra provided could be brutal and intense but her visits made them bearable. I knew if I did well and listened, she’d stop by, and she always did. Bringing books, candy, cuddle toys. She liked telling me about her favorite mythological creatures hence… Medusa, a heroic icon in her eyes. A name she’d later adopt for herself but to me, she always remained Madam Hydra.

“Anyway, training became more intense as the years went by. Physical workouts were replaced by combat training. Learning how to use my fists, wield a knife, fire a gun. For my graduation, I was tasked with ending the life of a prisoner who’d tried to escape.”

Unwittingly, Yelena glanced down at her hands. Steady and calm, no sign of weakness even if the memory left her reviled.

“I took the quick and painless approach, snapped his neck. I heard the bones crack and felt the resonance in my hands… it burst the bubble I’d been living in. The lie that if I obeyed, followed orders, and trusted in Madam Hydra’s care that somehow everything would be alright. That I could live that life—I couldn’t.”

She blew out a small exhale and frowned. “Afterward, Madam Hydra held me. Said it was inevitable and we had to do what was necessary for the cause. That she was proud of me and that I was essential in reshaping the world. To protect it. I remember smiling, nodding and agreeing even as I set my mind to planning my escape.”

Determined not to meet Bucky’s eyes, Yelena concentrated on her shoes. Grumbling internally when she noticed a spot of dirt on the white of her sneakers and she leaned forward to wipe it off

“It took a few more years but I did escape and… well, you know the rest,” she muttered, skipping over the details everyone knew. The ones she didn’t want to waste her breath on yet again.

“When I woke up in the medical ward in Germany, everything had changed. They allowed me to recover fully, only to mark me with fresh injuries once I’d healed. Madam Hydra was no longer my friend and stood by as they beat me bloody for hours on end.

“I was kept in a small, six-by-six cell. No bars, no windows, no bed. Just a dirty mattress and no way of relieving myself or washing up. They’d retrieve me every morning, strip me, and hose me down in the yard before escorting me to the interrogation chambers in nothing but a prisoner’s uniform.”

One corner of her mouth inched up and she let out a wry chuckle. “I guess they were worried I’d been talking to the wrong people during my years of freedom. Perhaps told anyone about Hydra so they wanted to know what I’d done, where I’d been, where I’d worked, who my friends had been during that time.

“Of course there was nothing much to tell, I’d kept to myself, but they refused to believe as much or simply didn’t want to. Any excuse for another beating until one day, Madam Hydra intervened. She removed the chains I’d been kept in and brought me to… well, what I assume was her room whenever she stayed at the facility.”

Yelena sucked in a deep breath and cursed the slight tremor in her left hand. Folding both in her lap to keep them still before she continued.

“At that moment, she was my savior again. The one person who’d treated me with care and consideration in the past. She let me bathe, dress in normal clothing, and did my hair. For the first time in weeks, I felt like a human being again and like an idiot, I thought the worst was behind me then so I didn’t realize she was merely changing tactics.

“She started complimenting me on my looks, the beautiful young woman I’d become and said it was time to complete my training. That as women, we were blessed with an additional skill set to exploit the weakness of men. That it was time I learned how to use that to my advantage. I didn’t understand what she meant until she called one of the soldiers into the room and told him to, quote, get it over with.”

Flashbacks to a room too bright, clean, and majestic for the horror that took place played out in Yelena’s mind. The taste of blood lingered on her tongue as she remembered the struggle she’d lost, too weakened from weeks of abuse and malnourishment. The betrayal of the woman who’d stood by and watched, casually puffing on her cigarette, stung in her heart once more.

Yelena shook her head slightly, trying to push those memories back down. There was no point dwelling on the past and the only thing the team needed to understand was the depth of Medusa’s depravity. How she would stop at nothing and knew no limits. That she had no moral code.

Still staring at her own hands, Yelena missed the way everyone around her fought their own instinctive reaction to her story. To let her continue, but she did feel a faint, coolness brush along her shoulders and took comfort in Loki’s presence before she carried on.

“There was no real training involved, only a new level of torture. I passed out and when I woke up, my body hurt in places it never had before. I remember wanting to cry but I couldn’t, nothing came out, and then I caught a pair of blue eyes observing me. Gerard’s eyes.”

Could the mad scientist with his charming but deceptive smile still be around? Was there any chance he had perfected the methods and formulas once used on her?

“Considering my surroundings, the examination table I was on, I thought him to be a doctor at first which… well, he was, just not the kind I’d hoped for. A biochemist and engineer, and while others had always sought to recreate the super-soldier serum, he was more interested in finding ways to suppress all forms of genetic enhancement.

“After introducing himself, he fit me with a collar around my neck. I’m not sure what was supposed to happen, something about energy pulses that were meant to attack specific cells in my body…” For the first time, Yelena looked up and met Bruce’s eyes.

He’d started taking notes and nodded, a confirmation that whatever science went beyond her made sense. It brought the briefest of smiles to her face, a spark of hope that perhaps something good could come from sharing her story.

“It did nothing to suppress my strength,” Yelena told them. “It was painful, unpleasant, left me with burn marks on my skin but otherwise did nothing. The next day, already on to his next experiment, Gerard had me strapped to a table and angled it upright, placing me in front of some sort of machine for radiation treatment. All I remember is excruciating agony and passing out.

“When that didn’t work, I was cuffed and collared once more. These new restraints sent shockwaves through my body at timed intervals which hurt but, compared to the other methods, was the most pleasant one.”

Yelena reached for the glass of water sitting on the table. Parched and her throat raw from the monologue she was dying to bring to an end.

“Of course, curing me wasn’t his only task. My escape proved they needed a way to control me, to force my loyalty to the cause so any time Gerard wasn’t taking blood samples or testing his toys on me, I was subjected to electroshock therapy. Fried my brain often enough and caused lengthy blackouts but I never fell under their control.

“When restraints and machines did nothing to cure or control me, Gerard resorted to other methods. He started injecting me with stuff from all sorts of different vials, and…” Flashing Bruce an apologetic and somewhat disappointed glance, she added, “I never read the labels, and he never explained. I have no idea what was in them but they had the worst effects yet.

“I became ill. Violently ill, and I’d never been sick before. High fever, couldn’t keep a thing down, cold sweats. Nightmares and hallucinations, and such fatigue in my body that it actually hurt. I have no idea how many days and nights passed while I went through this.”

There were gaps in her memory caused by days of blackouts, the time frame in her mind muddled, and Yelena massaged her temples. “Eventually the fever wore off and to Gerard’s dismay, my strength returned the same as it had always been. His serum had muted my powers for a short period but it was no cure.

“He continued his efforts and injected me with various serums, some worse than others. One left my entire body paralyzed, another had me screaming through the night and clawing at my own skin to make the itching stop. None of them ever did what he wanted.”

Upon hearing this, another spoke up at last and Tony asked, “Does that mean Steve’s condition may not be permanent?”

“Possibly. I have no idea whether he ever succeeded in creating a lasting cure, what he got up to after they put me in cryostasis.”

“Right, of course. Continue.”

Yelena sunk back into the couch cushions and recalled, “All of my days started blending together and, whether due to the experiments or the constant abuse, I decided to stop resisting. Instructed myself to start saying yes, nod my head, and follow orders. Resume my training from years earlier and prepare for new missions. All the while looking for any opportunity to escape once more.

“I thought I found it in the soldier who’d uhm… you know, that first time.” She waved her hand about as if swatting away the words she didn’t want to say out loud. “It didn’t stay with that first time and I adapted. Worked my body with his rather than resist the inevitable…”

Shame clawed at her skin and burned underneath her cheeks, and Yelena was quick to defend herself by adding, “It was a matter of survival and I hated every second of it.”

She didn’t need to explain. No one in the room judged her and Natasha’s expression was filled with understanding but Yelena didn’t notice, too caught up in her own retelling.

“It turns out, Madam Hydra was right. The soldier, Crossbones, as he was known around the base, took my cooperation for enjoyment and mutual desire. He became careless and created the opportunity I’d been looking for.

“One day, he insisted we be partnered up and brought me along on a field mission. We were on a rooftop waiting for a supply truck when Bones put his hands on me again, wanting to kill time and I let him. Until he became lost in the moment and I grabbed his discarded utility belt. Wrapped it around his neck, choked him out, fought him off and got away.”

She ran an idle hand through her hair and sighed. “I’d never tried to fight him before because we’d always been at the base, there’d been no point but this time we were out in the open and hours away from the nearest Hydra outpost. I jumped several stories down the side of the building and ran toward the van we’d driven there. No keys but I knew how to hotwire a car.

“Almost had it when one of the other soldiers caught up to me and grabbed my leg, yanked me out of the driver’s seat and shot me with… something, a substance. I still don’t know what it was but I lost sight of my surroundings fast and woke up much later, back at Gerard’s lab.”

After taking another sip from her water, Yelena scolded her own stupidity, “I should have kept running rather than go for the van, but at least it got rid of Bones. I heard Madam Hydra gave him hell and he was reassigned overseas.

“Gerard shelved his experiments and, at Medusa’s orders, tried again to recondition my mind—it didn’t take. I don’t know why but I heard them argue once that the technique was flawed because the instructions left behind in some guy’s journal were incomplete.”

Yelena blew out a deep exhale now that she’d arrived at the end of her story. “I suppose, after all that, they decided I was more hassle than I was worth if they couldn’t force my loyalty one way or another. That’s when they rolled the stasis chamber into the lab and subdued me, and the next time I woke up…”

She looked over at Tony and he met her with a touch of humor. “From one nightmare into the next, huh?”

“So what you’re saying is…” Bruce re-read his notes. “They didn’t try and enhance your powers further—they were trying to suppress or eliminate them?”

“Yep, and in the process achieved the opposite, giving me new powers instead,” said Yelena. “Go figure, huh?”

“Curious…” he mused. “That means Gerard believed the baseline agent used to create physical enhancement could also take it away. It’s an interesting concept.”

“Interesting? It didn’t work, they only made her more powerful in the end,” Tony pointed out, “how exactly is that helpful? That scientist sounds like an idiot. He couldn’t even recreate Zola’s reconditioning therapy.”

“Zola, that’s him! That’s who’s journal they were talking about!” Yelena confirmed upon hearing the name.

“What Zola did to Barnes went far beyond electroshock therapy which even in today’s world isn’t always successful,” Bruce explained and he shifted from having listened intently to processing a dozen new ideas in his mind. “But this gives me something to work with and it means there’s a chance Steve will recover on his own.”

Trying to follow along with his thinking, Natasha argued, “That is if Gerard never perfected his method. Lena fell ill, same as Steve has now, but she never regressed to any previous state of being. Right?”

“Because she was born with her enhancement, there was no previous state of being.”

“Exactly, so all the cure did was make her ill, but Steve wasn’t born with his so it’s not the same and we shouldn’t assume he’ll recover just because she did.”

“Of course I’m not assuming. I said there’s a chance but in the meantime, I will spend every second working on an antidote,” Bruce promised and he took Natasha’s hands, realizing her argumentative reaction stemmed from a place of concern for Steve.

No one else had much to say. Thor, Sam, and Wanda—the science of it all went over their heads and Bucky had become too occupied with his own internal struggle. Trying to digest everything Yelena had shared while attempting to keep his ever-growing sense of guilt at bay.

_‘I blame you for everything I went through after you dragged me back there,’_ her words from the previous day rang fresh in his mind and though she’d insisted that she shouldn’t hold him responsible, that it wouldn’t be right, he knew a part of her did.

He held himself responsible too and muttered a quick apology before walking out.

“Uhm, so…” Wanda broke her silence at last and sat down next to Yelena. “If you believe this Madam Hydra is behind this, what would she want with Vision?”

“She once said the existence of enhanced individuals, powerful beings, would bring the deadliest war known to man right to our doorstep. With me, she tried to strip me of my powers. From what I understand, Vision is his power so… I mean, all I’ve got is speculation but, nothing good and we should focus on finding him before it’s too late.”


	22. Just For Tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something... a bit different from the drama that's been unfolding. Hope you enjoy, more notes regarding the chapter are at the bottom and while I don't like to spoil stuff ahead of time, I don't wanna alienate people either so beware, things get a little smutty.

**— 22: Just For Tonight —**

“I can’t believe Thor never noticed your presence,” said Yelena the very second she made it to her room, knowing Loki had followed her.

After sharing her story and answering Wanda’s question, she’d excused herself with a need for privacy. A moment to catch her breath, to shake free of all the memories she’d revived. Time alone with her thoughts and every trauma she’d kept suppressed until today.

Well, not entirely alone. The emerald-hued shimmer which had lingered in her presence transformed into the flesh and blood form of Loki and he flashed her a playful smirk.

“My brother’s always been a little dense.”

Though she’d previously resisted the urge to seek physical comfort, this time Yelena took Loki by surprise when she flung her left arm around him. A cheek buried against his shoulder and she sighed, “Thank you.”

“What for?” His brows knitted together in confusion, even as he reciprocated the gesture and embraced her.

“You kept your promise, you came back, despite Thor’s orders. Why?”

“Boredom. This strange and sudden urge to defy his command which is just so unlike me.”

“Loki.” Yelena couldn’t help but smile. “I’m glad you’re here, I just don’t want you to get into any trouble. Based on what you’ve told me, things seem good between you guys right now.”

“You needed me,” Loki admitted, his lighthearted demeanor replaced by sincerity, “and I have something I want to share with you.” A black velvet box appeared in the upturned, open palm of his hand and he urged Yelena to take it.

She slipped from his embrace and opened the box, marveling at the silvery-white flower tucked inside. “That’s… gorgeous. What is it?”

“A snjórósa. Snow rose, loosely translated. It’s native to my birth planet, Jotunheim, although I plucked this one from the royal gardens on Asgard.”

“Mm, how did it end up on Asgard?”

“The casket and I weren’t the only things Odin brought back with him after the war with the Frost Giants. He offered the snjórósa as a gift to my mother, Frigga, and she planted it in the gardens.

“On Asgard, it’s a symbol of love and devotion. A promise that one shall always return to their beloved,” Loki explained, waving the meaning off like an old wives’ tale that had no value.

There was only one purpose to the rose that mattered in his eyes. “But, for my kind, it functions as a magical conduit. To provide balance and inner peace. The books say Jotun younglings would often practice their skill with a snjórósa first.”

Yelena used great care as she took the rose between her fingers and eased it from its box. A smile rested on her face and for the moment, all her woes were left in the past where they belonged.

The delicate little petals began to glow upon her touch and grew in size. The rose blooming as it sensed the magic coursing through her veins, and lithe flakes of snow engulfed the stem and her hand in a gentle drizzle.

“I did wonder how it would respond to you,” mused Loki, half entranced as he watched her light up with joy. “The magic from my world didn’t give you your powers but like me, it does appear to react to your gift.”

“Is that why you gave this to me, as a test?” asked Yelena.

“In part, but I wouldn’t be who I am if I didn’t have some ulterior motive.”

An air of mystery intoned his words and Yelena quirked a brow. “Which is…?”

Loki’s open palm cupped underneath her hand and with his magic added, the rose grew several more inches. Beaming brightly while the drizzle expanded to circle the pair. Floating and dancing. A stray flake landed on Yelena’s nose as its friends faded out just before hitting the carpet and she laughed a genuine chuckle.

“Every experience you’ve had with your gift has been a negative one. I wanted you to see it can be beautiful as well,” said Loki.

Wanting to try for herself, Yelena focused her powers. A risky choice because the emotional turmoil she’d been experiencing could set off a blizzard all across the state of New York but, nothing so disastrous took place. The rose only shone brighter and began to levitate on its own, covering the pair in small flurries.

It brought her calm and balance, quite as Loki had believed. “This is… amazing. How do I look after it, make sure it doesn’t wither? I think I saw an empty vase in the kitchen—”

“The rose is magic and has bonded with you, it won’t wither. You can place it anywhere,” Loki assured her but his voice sounded distant to his own ears.

It was true that he’d only ever intended to show her the brighter side of her gift but, as he witnessed the delight on her face, he found himself unexpectedly rewarded for his efforts. Pride burgeoned in his chest—a boon to his ego—knowing her smile was of his making.

Maybe doing good wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

“Mmm.” Carrying the rose to set it down by the mirror of her vanity, Yelena couldn’t help but wonder. “How did you know I needed you, and this?”

“Heimdall.”

“Ah, of course. The watcher up above.”

Yelena spun back around and observed the man whose eyes guarded a world of secrets and mystery. The god of mischief and lies she somehow felt safe to trust. The one who should be more dangerous than anyone she’d ever met and yet, she wanted nothing more than to shelter in his embrace.

Well, not exactly nothing more. Other notions did cross her mind when she wrapped her arm around him a second time. Nestled her face against the crook of his neck and breathed him in. The feel of his skin against her own and his scent stirring urges she’d rarely experienced but understood well enough as body and instinct took over.

He smelled good. No fragrance she could identify or recognize but quite intoxicating and, most likely, otherworldly.

His jawline felt smooth against her lips when she kissed him just above the neck. Another on his cheek and the third lingered at the corner of his mouth before she whispered, “There’s one last thing I need…”

It wasn’t often that anyone managed to catch Loki off guard but he stood perplexed. To say he’d never thought of her in that way would be a lie—he’d even attempted to suggest it before when she’d been too distracted to notice—but she was his friend too.

His only friend and one who’d just detailed the horrors of her past for all to hear. Who’d been going through a whirlwind of emotions and the last thing he wanted was to risk their connection in pursuit of lust and temporary sedation.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked and cupped her cheek, letting his thumb brush her bottom lip. “You’ve been through a lot.”

“I’m not some fragile, broken thing, Loki.” Yelena leaned in, lips parted to wrap around the padding of his thumb. Sucking playfully before she added, “I want this and I want it with you. Just this, no other expectations.”

All he could manage was a groan as his desires awakened, and the devious glint in her eyes, peering up at him from under her lashes, was all the convincing he needed.

“A little fragile and broken,” Loki pointed out, a grin on his face and he let his free hand play with the fabric of her sling. “Is this going to be an issue?”

Amused, she let his thumb slip from her mouth. “That depends on how rough you wanna get.”

“Oh, you have no idea what—”

Yelena didn’t care for further teasing and flirts—she ached to feel it. Cutting off his words, she fisted the collar of his jacket and pulled him in, her lips crashing onto his mouth. She began urging him toward her bed, hips nudging against his thigh, her body wound tight with desperate need.

They were the sheets they’d spent many a night on before but this time would be different. No talk of heartaches, mistakes made, and pasts best forgotten—she needed fresh memories. Ones she might actually want to hold on to, and Loki was more than happy to oblige.

Allowing her to take the lead while she shoved him back onto the mattress. Watching as she rid herself of her sling and the unflattering Stark Industries sweatshirt she’d been wearing. Revealing a torso marred by scars but each one a sign of strength.

Along with a faded pair of jeans, she dropped all the worries that had held her in their grasp from the moment she’d been freed from cryostasis. Time to forget and just live a little. A night to remember she was more than a soldier but a woman with needs like any other human being.

In nothing but her underwear, she straddled Loki’s hips and began working the intricacies of his jacket with little patience. Muttering to herself about alien fashion and finicky fastenings.

“If you’re so keen, I could just…” His eyes twinkled and the layers of clothing covering his upper body disappeared.

“Mmm, much better.”

The leather of his trousers brushed her inner thighs when she leaned in to explore the man—the god—at her fingertips. Yelena breathed him in, lips skimming from his throat down toward his chest, nails dragging across his skin. A small hiss pushed past his teeth when hers scraped one of his nipples and she smirked.

There was something intoxicating to being in charge. Free to discover the workings of his body, finding different ways to elicit a pleasurable response. Driving her own hunger to new heights until she couldn’t take it anymore.

Without even bothering to undress further, she unzipped him and freed what she desired most of all from its confinements. Hooking her underwear to the side and within seconds, the first sighs of relief and satisfaction escaped her lips as he filled her.

“Fuck...” Yelena closed her eyes and stilled.

Each of her nerves alight with sensations she was no longer used to but wished to savor. Every pulse and every twitch echoing in her core, and Loki resisted the urge to thrust. Letting her have the power, letting her dictate their pace, and understanding that she needed to do this her way.

When she finally began rolling her hips, he made sure to meet her every demand. She sought his lips out once more and he welcomed her tongue. He swallowed the moans that rumbled up her throat and groaned in response. She brought his hand down between her thighs and he followed her instructions well.

It didn’t take long for Yelena to peak. Long suppressed and pent up desires tearing their way through her body, forcing her release sooner than she’d expected or wanted but Loki leered at her with delight. Kissed away any concern she might have had about beating him to the finish line.

“My turn now.” Something in his eyes darkened as he held her to him and whispered, “Do you trust me?”

Seconds passed before she responded. Panting still, struggling to find her voice, but with her lips curled into a sated smile. “We wouldn’t be sitting here like this if I didn’t.”

“So if I wanted to play things my way…”

“Just for tonight, I’m all yours.”

That was his cue to switch into the role he preferred most. His turn to explore every dip and curve of her body, and know her more intimately than ever before. To ease her onto the soft sheets and discard the last of their clothing before climbing on top of the woman still basking in the afterglow of her climax. To claim a prize he hadn’t been vying for but one he eagerly wished to exhaust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a specific goal in mind for this chapter, one that focused purely on a growing friendship but as I was writing it, things took a turn in another direction. One that felt natural so after debating it with myself, I've decided to just run with it rather than worrying about it. It's a little smutty, not explicit enough I feel to warrant changing the overall rating. If you do feel this needs to be bumped from M to E, let me know, I'm happy to adjust it.
> 
> PS: I've also updated Chapter 1 with an associated poster image for the story. :D


	23. A Step Forward

**— 23: A Step Forward —**

Morning came and Loki was gone. Back to Asgard to resume his royal duties while Yelena wandered the lakehouse alone. It was still early, daybreak casting a warm hue through the windows, and she smiled.

Something had changed.

She felt lighter. As if coming up for air after drowning for so long. Whether through Loki’s multiple surprises, or the weight she’d dropped from her shoulders by finally opening up, it didn’t matter. She’d embrace this feeling, knowing only too well it rarely lasted.

Careful not to make a sound, she tip-toed down the stairs to the medical ward. There was something she needed for herself and, despite their recent falling out, she did worry about Steve. He didn’t deserve what Medusa had done to him, no one did, and Yelena could only hope the serum’s effects would wear off soon.

She held her step at the door and peered inside through the small, circular window. Bucky sat at Steve’s bedside—precisely as she’d expected. Hunched over and with his back to the door, no doubt lost in deep thought and exhausted. Too preoccupied to see Yelena and her hesitation before she turned away.

Back up the stairs and headed for the kitchen where she started a fresh pot of coffee. Working on impulse to prepare breakfast, and treating herself to some buttered toast as she waited for the bacon to crispen in the oven. Wielding a spatula in her other hand to scramble two eggs to a perfect, fluffy pile of curds.

It was an impulse she would have ignored only yesterday but something had to give. Her perspective needed to change and though Yelena wasn’t certain whether it ever could, it was time she at least tried.

Armed with a loaded tray, she returned to the medical ward and slipped inside. Bucky hardly noticed her, not until she cleared her throat and put the breakfast tray in hands.

“Oh. I’m uh… not all that hungry,” he attempted to excuse. Torn between flashing her an apologetic smile and keeping his eyes on Steve.

Stubborn and playing things on the tough side, of course he would be. Were she in his position, she might’ve reacted the same way but Yelena didn’t love Steve the way Bucky did so common sense prevailed.

“Don’t. Neglecting yourself isn’t going to help him get better. Eat.” She left no room for arguing, and further protests died on Bucky’s tongue when he caught her hard-nosed glare.

“Thanks.”

“Mhm.” The monitor tacked onto the foot end caught her attention but the numbers told her very little so she rounded the hospital bed to put a hand over Steve’s forehead. “Has there been any change?”

Fever still held him in its grasp and he mumbled incoherently. A dream or nightmare keeping him tethered to a subconscious life, and Yelena took the cold washcloth from his bedside table to dab at the sweat rolling down his temples.

“None,” said Bucky before he swallowed a piece of bacon down with a few sips of coffee. “He did have one violent episode, brought on by the fever according to Banner. We had to strap him down to make sure he wouldn’t end up hurting himself. It’s…”

His brows knitted together and he took a deep breath. “I’ve known him all my life. I knew him when he was still a boy, before the serum, and every time he got sick. I’ve sat at his bedside before but it has never been this bad.”

“He’ll get through this, one way or another.” Yelena stepped back and opened up one of the medicine cabinets.

Pretending to peruse its contents with nothing more than sheer curiosity while covertly pocketing the items she needed. Just a few things to make sure last night’s endeavors wouldn’t lead to any inconvenient consequences, and to keep herself protected should it ever happen again.

Bucky was oblivious, his focus split between devouring his breakfast at rapid speed and watching Steve. Hoping for sudden, miraculous improvement. “Do you really think so?”

“I refuse to believe otherwise.”

“How long did it take you to recover after being injected with one of those concoctions?”

“It’s a little fuzzy. The first time was definitely the worst, and I think it took the longest. The last time, best as I can remember, it only took a few days.”

“Hmm.” After forking the last of the scrambled eggs into his mouth, Bucky tilted his head slightly to observe the woman he had so much, and yet so little, history with.

Steve’s terrifying condition hadn’t been the only thing that had kept him up through the night—he struggled to process everything Yelena had told the group. Unable to stop his own spiral of guilt, to the point he’d even scolded himself for being so careless in the way he’d loved Sofya. Bringing a child into the world who’d been doomed before ever drawing her first breath.

“Can I… Would you let me ap—”

“No,” Yelena cut him off the second she realized what he was about to say. She’d seen his mind busy at work, fighting for words, behind the distant look in his eyes. “I’m trying to… I _want_ to try and see you as two separate identities so please don’t apologize for the things the soldier did.”

She walked over to the sink, poured herself a glass of water, and swallowed back a pill that might as well have been aspirin for all Bucky knew.

“I know you want to, and I appreciate the sentiment but…” Yelena blew out a sigh and managed a meager smile. “I’m kinda sick of living in the past, or by my past. Aren’t you?”

“Yeah, but it’s not easily forgotten,” Bucky admitted.

“Small steps.”

He gave a slight nod and glanced at the now empty breakfast tray she’d brought him. “Small steps.”

“Why don’t you go up, have a shower, get a change of clothes. Maybe breathe in some fresh air and I’ll sit with Steve.”

“I’d rather not—” Again he tried to protest but he was quickly met by the same glare as before and relented, pushing his chair back to get up. “You’ll let me know if anything changes?”

“Count on it.”

“Thanks.” Unsure of what more to say, Bucky left but not before casting a final glance at his best friend, right as the door closed behind him.

Yelena waited to see whether he’d return but when heavy footsteps faded into the distance, she took the empty seat he’d left behind. Her hand closed around Steve’s and she blew out a staggered sigh.

“I know this will sound a bit selfish but I’d rather you didn’t die before I’ve had the chance to accept your apology, and I’m not going to accept it until you wake up so…” she muttered, unsure of what else to say while she toyed with various musings.

“And Bucky needs you, I think. I’m trying to give him a chance which isn’t exactly easy, I still feel the urge to duck at the slightest movement he makes, but I’m also worried. I don’t know who he’ll be or what he’ll do if you don’t make it through this. I guess that’s a little selfish too but there’s a lot going on and we need you.”

A past conversation she’d had with Steve surfaced in her mind and she smiled. “And by you, I mean Steve, not Captain America. I know you’ve been waiting but there’s a future out there for you and there are a lot of people who care about you. Even Tony’s worried. You do have family and a life…

“I suppose I do too. You know, I wasn’t entirely honest with you before. I’m accustomed to being alone and getting by on my own but… sometimes I do miss people. Having dinner with everyone the other day, despite the circumstances, it was kinda nice.”

She paused and watched Steve closely for any kind of reaction, the smallest twitch or indication that he could actually hear what she had to say but nothing came. “And I am sorry, for hitting you. I know you meant well but I have a lifetime of people earning and betraying my trust, and I felt so comfortable with you at first… safe even, so it stung when I uncovered the truth. Like you were no different than she used to be.

“Medusa I mean, Madame Hydra. Not that you know who that is…”

A few grunts and groans pushed past Steve’s gritted teeth, his fists balling and he shook his head from side to side. Trapped in his own world and Yelena felt powerless sitting by his side, talking and having nothing else to offer until an idea took root in her mind.

Momentary hesitation kept her glued to her seat before she got up. Eyeing the door for a split second to make sure no one else was around before she climbed into the hospital bed to lay at Steve’s side.

A hand hovering just above his chest and she closed her eyes, building and guiding her focus to let the smallest and coolest of touches caress him. “Don’t tell anyone, okay, and I’ll try not to turn you into a popsicle,” Yelena whispered as she concentrated.

She spent the next hour trying to bring Steve’s fever down with little tinges of her magic and the temperature of her own body. Offering soothing words to counter his distressed mutterings and reminding him that he’d be okay. Insistently so because that’s what she needed to believe too, and because she couldn’t stand to see him suffer the way she once had.

It wasn’t until Bruce arrived that she swiftly jumped from the bed and back into her seat—an instinctive response lest anyone see her gentler side. She feigned a mask of indifference and after a brief exchange of polite greetings, left to go upstairs where others already waited.

“I can’t sit here waiting for you to come up with a plan!” Wanda argued, her index finger poking at Tony’s chest. “We need to find Vis, I need to be out there looking for him!”

“So what do you want to do? Fly around the world looking for him in every nook and cranny?” Came Tony’s response, heavy exasperation in his voice.

“We should start in Europe,” Yelena made her presence known and pushed forward into the crowd. Playing with Tony’s display console to bring up a map. “I can pinpoint every Hydra base I was ever made aware of, and Bucky can add whichever ones I’m missing.”

“Uh, wouldn’t it be rather stupid of them to go back to any of those places?” asked Sam.

“It would, but we’re all creatures of habit too. There used to be nine locations in Germany, two in France and Austria, seven in Russia, then one in the Netherlands, Belgium, England, and Ireland. Vision was taken in Ireland and it would make sense they’d stay within the continent rather than export him halfway across the world."

Natasha observed all the locations Yelena had highlighted and offered her own thoughts, “That’s what I would do. Less risk of attracting unwanted attention that way and it would minimize any opportunity for an escape.”

“Exactly.” Yelena nodded and addressed Tony, “Were any of these locations cleared out when you exposed Hydra years back?”

“A few.” He took out his stylus pen and circled the ones that had been searched in the past. “We confiscated everything they had so let’s save those for last.”

“Then I suggest we start with…” Taking the pen from him, Yelena highlighted several other secret bunkers. “These two in Germany, and the other one in Russia. Someone should probably check back at the Siberia location too, just to be on the safe side.”

“I can take that one,” Bucky offered but he was met with immediate contention from Tony’s end.

“Who says you’re coming with us? I still don’t trust—”

“They just took out my best friend. You don’t have to trust me, just trust that I want to make those responsible pay,” Bucky defended himself—Tony wasn’t going to brush him aside this time. “Trust that I'm doing this for Steve.”

“Which makes you no more than a hot-headed—”

“He’s coming with us,” Yelena intervened to the surprise of a few. “He and I know their operations inside out, we’re familiar with most of these bases. We were Hydra, remember?”

“Yeah, I’m all too aware which is exactly why I—” Tony argued but found himself cut off once more.

“We’re in no position to turn down a helping hand,” Yelena insisted. “We can split up into two teams so you won’t have to deal with him.”

“Well, look at you taking charge.” There was a slight, playful undertone to Tony’s comment, his resentment from moments ago dissipating. “Fine then, Frosty. Assign the teams.”

“I’d say Sam, Wanda, and Natasha join Bucky—they have history and get along—and they’ll head to Siberia first. You, me, Rhodes and Thor head to Germany. Fair balance, no?”

Natasha smiled, having counted the odd man out. “I suppose that puts Bruce on babysitting duty once more?”

“Seems best. Someone needs to stay with Steve, who better?”

Tony copied the data from the map over to his tablet and clapped his hands together. “Alright, you heard the new kid. Gather what you need and suit up, be ready to leave in an hour.”


	24. Team A

**— 24: Team A —**

“Yep, okay, never ever doing that again,” Tony grumbled and stood uneasy on his feet after Thor had utilized the Bifrost to transport them to Germany.

The urge to hurl rose in his throat but he managed to hold back. “From now on, I’m flying.”

“You and me both,” uttered Rhodes, eyeing just as queasy as he clutched his stomach.

Only Yelena and Thor seemed unaffected, and the former shrugged. “I thought it was kind of exciting, and definitely a lot faster than flying at any speed.”

Thor bellied a chuckle. “Is this the place?”

“Close enough, the building is just over that hill.” Turning around, Yelena indicated past a set of trees at a snow-covered slope. “We should be careful not to trigger any perimeter scanners, assuming they’re active.”

“I’ve got that covered.” Rhodes activated the sensors in his helmet and took off from the ground. “Meet me at the gates after I’ve given the all-clear sign.”

Engaging the thrusters on his suit, Tony followed and left Yelena and Thor behind to trudge through inches of snow. Unexpectedly sinking lower in places where the ground was uneven, but Yelena marched on. Not stopping until she reached the treeline and trying hard to ignore Thor’s continued attempts at making eye contact.

“Is this a strange endeavor for you?” he asked once they halted their step.

“Please clarify.”

“To be working alongside us, rather than against us.”

“That’s assuming working for Hydra was ever my decision—it wasn’t. I made that clear yesterday.”

“Right, of course,” Thor excused himself with an awkward grimace. “But it must still be strange, yes?”

“Working with someone like you is, but getting to do some good for once actually feels nice.” Yelena leaned back against the trunk of a tree and folded her arms before her. “Why do you ask?”

“Oh, I’m just being curious and making polite conversation,” he put up a front that Yelena wasn’t buying, and she narrowed a keen eye on the god.

“No. I think what you’d really like to know is how your brother feels about assisting me and the team but you won’t ask him because you know you’d never get a straight answer, so you’re fishing with me instead.”

Thor stuttered a little, taken aback by her direct approach, before finding his words. “You are observant, and you are correct. I would like to know how Loki feels about lending aid opposed to destruction.”

“I’m not going to be the middle person in whatever stuff is between you and him, and I can’t speak for him.”

“No, I’m sorry, and I wouldn’t ask that of you.”

“What I can say is… Loki’s been nothing short of wonderful. I wouldn’t be standing here right now had he not supported me, and worked with me to train my powers, as he has. His methods are…”

“Crude and unusual?”

Yelena flashed an almost fond smile. “Perhaps. Yes, he did anger me on one or two occasions but his method was also on point. I don’t think coddling and gentle steps would have helped me quite as much.”

Static crackled in her ears and Thor’s before Tony interrupted their conversation, “We’re good, security has been disabled. Come along, children.”

“Children,” scoffed Thor in lighthearted fashion as his boots carved out a deep, grooved path through the snow for Yelena to follow. “You are mere sucklings compared to me.”

Rhodes’ confusion could be heard over their comms. “Sucklings, what? Did he just compare us to animals?”

“No, sucklings. You know, like babes.”

“Babies, infants,” Yelena corrected. Marching behind Thor while she double checked her guns were loaded.

Magical powers or not, if there was to be a fight she’d first resort to old methods. Those which felt most natural and comfortable, and she figured keeping her special gift a secret from the enemy might work to her benefit later on.

“Coulda just said that,” Rhodes bemoaned with an exasperated, and utterly fake, sigh. “You know we mostly use that term here for pigs. Pigs.”

“Is this what you guys are like any time you’re out on a mission? So much chatter.” Yelena shook her head, not used to this level of banter on the job.

“Always, Frosty, and hurry up,” Tony called out.

Thor glanced over his shoulder with a smirk. “Yes, hurry along, little one. I thought you had speed?”

“Frosty, little one, snowflake. What is it with the damn nicknames?” she huffed while stomping through the snow, picking up the pace of her gait.

Rhodes couldn’t help but add, “Don’t forget about Elsa.”

“You never had a codename or call sign back in your days with Hydra?” asked Tony.

“No.” Yelena caught up to Thor and they crossed the slope’s peak. “Well, Soldat X, obviously. Monster was another and one I don’t care to ever hear again. Kitty, because of my middle name, but I don’t like that either.”

“See? Compared to those, Frosty isn’t so bad.”

“How about Blizzard?” Rhodes offered.

“Or Snow,” added Thor but his suggestion was met with a scowl from Yelena.

“Do I look like a fairytale princess that talks to woodland creatures and shacks up with seven little men, hoping to be saved by some prince?”

“Uhm, no. Why would you want to shack up with seven little men?” Thor’s thick brows furrowed, the reference alien to him, while Tony and Rhodes struggled not to laugh.

“Never you mind. Frosty will do, for now.”

They reached the gates and it only took a second for Tony to bypass the lock. A smirk hiding somewhere behind his helmet while all four of them crossed the parking lot to the back of the building.

Not wanting to be outdone by Tony and Rhodes with their fancy gadgets, Yelena placed a hand over the security panel to short circuit its systems by freezing it and unlocked the door.

“I’ve been here once before.” Yelena led them inside and stopped at an intersection of staircases. “The laboratory, cell block, storage, surgical theater, and sickbay are on a sub-level. Science, communication, weapons, and general offices on this floor. Then there’s an upper level though I’m not sure what went on up there.”

“I’m not picking up any heat signatures,” said Tony and he deactivated his helmet. “But we should split up and check every floor. See if anyone’s been here recently. Frosty, we’ll take the lower level. Rhodey, Thor, start at the top floor and we’ll meet back up on this level.”

Parting ways, Yelena hurried down the stairs with Tony following behind. The metallic clanking of his boots echoing loud into the silence. It raised the hairs in the back of her neck, and Yelena felt thankful this was no longer a covert mission. Her nerves wound somewhat tight—it was no pleasant experience revisiting these places.

Tony noticed it too when he caught the tensed expression on her face. “You made the right call,” he tried to offer some distraction.

“Hmm?” She barely looked at him, eyes scanning every room and every surface. Going from one block to the next.

“When you suggested we start here. The way you split up the teams.”

“Oh. I was surprised you let me make any calls at all.”

“You sounded confident, making decisions based on knowledge and experience. Putting the team before any personal grievances…”

“Ah, yes. Just figured it would be foolish to bench him, you know?”

“How can you—” There was something Tony wished to understand, the trick to moving on, but Yelena held up a hand to silence him.

Traces of mud trailing down the corridor, across the concrete floor, caught her eye. She crouched low and took a clump between her fingers. “Dry, but fresh… someone’s been here recently.”

The tracks led through a series of corridors, toward the laboratory where most cabinets had been opened. Several vials—some empty, others half full—lay scattered across the counter, and Yelena finally revealed why she, as the only one, had brought a backpack.

“You came prepared,” Tony commented when she unveiled a kit for storing vials and exchanged her regular gloves for latex ones.

“Bruce’s idea, might help Steve. Might help Bruce develop something to protect us all. Nat’s brought a kit with her as well.”

Careful not to spill any, Yelena sealed the half-empty vials and placed them in a tray before scouring the cabinets. Going by name and serial number to find stocked versions of the vials which had been emptied.

She took a deep breath as she zipped up her backpack, not oblivious to the question Tony had wanted to ask. “You know… it’s not easy but what other choice is there? Who’s going to suffer the most from my anger and resentment toward Bucky? I am. So for the sake of my own sanity, I’m trying to make some semblance of peace with the past.”

On her way out of the laboratory, she put a hand on Tony’s shoulder. “I know there is no off-switch on the pain you feel, there isn’t for me either, but there is no winning here. There is no justice to find in this situation, only further loss.”

A hint of emotion flickered in his eyes. He nodded, a sign that he got her meaning, but said nothing else on the matter.

After surveying the remaining sub-level areas, Tony and Yelena reunited with the other two to inspect the ground level of the building. One of the computers had recently been accessed and Tony secured a copy of the harddrive—the coding similar to the virus that had set off the explosion.

They made sure to search every corner, each room, and once it became clear there were no other clues to be found, they headed back out.

“You didn’t find anything upstairs?” Tony asked Rhodes before activating his helmet.

“Nothing up there but layers of dust and a few spiders. What about you guys?”

Yelena patted her backpack. “A few samples of chemical compounds for Bruce to analyze.”

“That’s something. What else did you bring in that thing anyway?”

“A rope, flashlight, a few extra clips. Uhh, some spare batteries, protein bars, two knives, a first aid kit, and a coffee thermos.”

“You…” Rhodes gave her an incredulous look and laughed. “You have super strength and icy, magical powers—what would you need all that other stuff for?”

While Tony snorted, Yelena simply shrugged. “Never underestimate the basics. Are we ready to head to the next location?”

“Yep. Coordinates are set…” said Tony while he and Rhodes activated their thrusters. “We’ll see you there!”

They were quick to leave Thor and Yelena behind, and the former held out his hand. “Let’s drop your little science kit off back at the house first. We will still beat them to Rheinsberg.”


End file.
